DD (7) says Daddy dresses her

[Anonymous]

That's lovely, but by the time you are leisurely locking your door, my kids have already been at school for half an hour. We don't all have the luxury of a late start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll try to chill over it, but it still seems weird to me. She wears leggings or footless tights, a elastic waist skirt over it and a pullover top most school days. No buttons or zippers.
I guess I find it creepy is because he doesn't do other things for her. He doesn't brush her hair. He doesn't even fix her breakfast. She gets a Poptart from the box and a Capri Sun.

My husband never notices our daughters hair if he is the one taking them to school in the morning. I have to make a special point of saying please make sure her hair is brushed and neat.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't do that other stuff because he's in too much of a hurry to care if her hair is brushed. I don't fix my daughter breakfast on school days either because she is the world's sloooooowest eater and we'd never get there on time. She eats cereal at preschool with the other kids. I don't eat breakfast at home either - I eat at my desk when I get to work.

I'm female and occasionally I'll be in such a hurry to get us out the door that I won't remember to brush her hair until we get to school.

[Anonymous]

I think the majority of Dads don't even notice their 7yo DD's hair. And most probably like to take the easy way - Poptarts, Capri Suns and dress them quickly on the way out. My DH would certainly be the same.

None of those things are a concern in relation to possible molestation or creepy behavior.

I find it creepy that people jump to that conclusion.

[Anonymous]

At some point, a Poptart from the box and a Capri Sun isn't going to cut it anymore (SO MUCH SUGAR!). What will this guy (and his many peers) do then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At some point, a Poptart from the box and a Capri Sun isn't going to cut it anymore (SO MUCH SUGAR!). What will this guy (and his many peers) do then?

Worst possible breakfast. Oy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still dress my 6 year old in the morning because it is faster and I don't want to be late. He does it on the weekends when I don't care how long it takes him. What type of clothes is she wearing? Elastic waist or pants with buttons? Dresses that need to be buttoned? Layers of clothes?

Same.

[Anonymous]

I just can't believe so many people are saying "he's just trying to save time" and "I dress my daughter when I'm in a hurry.". The point is, that's YOU. You people all need to start taking child abuse more seriously because you don't know OPs ex and she does. Obviously there's something about him that is suspicious. The little girl also used the word rough. The father was asked to stop by the mom and the daughter. He STILL did not. This is weird!

[Anonymous]

I'm not necessarily saying he's molesting her. Even if his intentions are just to save time, the fact remains that she needs to feel like if she has a funny feeling and does not want someone to touch her, she has the power to say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was molested starting at 8 by a family member. I definitely felt that my parents expected me to do whatever an adult said, no matter how uncomfortable it made me feel. This man abused me for 6 years until he died. For 6 years of family get togethers, I was forced to hug him, accept hello/goodbye kisses, even sit on his lap for photos because that's what he expected and I had to be obedient. Admittedly, my parents never suspected he was violating me in private. So when I said that I didn't want to hug "Uncle Greg", they got mad at me. When I said I didn't want to accompany him to the corner store, they made me go anyway. For 6 years, he used these trips as an opportunity to molest me. All my parents saw was that I rejected his seemingly innocent kisses and hugs.
My number one rule with my own kids is that they are able to refuse any touching that is not necessary for immediate safety or for health.

+1

I am an aunt and I never ever pressure my nieces and nephews to hug or kiss me. If they are feeling shy and there parents are nudging them to hug me, I say, that's ok, you don't have to hug anyone you don't want to hug!

[Anonymous]

Divorced people with custody issues always react strongly to normal stuff that any married couple wouldn't think twice about. If they were married and dad had to get the kids out of the house a couple days a week when mom had to work early it would be a family joke that dad always dressed the kids fast. But since they're divorced there's all this reading into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is dressing her from the skin out. She says that she asked him not to because he does it roughly. When she is with me, she dresses in 12-15 minutes without any assistance.
He does not help groom her hair which she actually could use help doing.

12-15 mins is a long time just to dress. I could see him dressing her just to rush the process if he is prone to being late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe so many people are saying "he's just trying to save time" and "I dress my daughter when I'm in a hurry.". The point is, that's YOU. You people all need to start taking child abuse more seriously because you don't know OPs ex and she does. Obviously there's something about him that is suspicious. The little girl also used the word rough. The father was asked to stop by the mom and the daughter. He STILL did not. This is weird!

It's sounds like she is suggesting these things to the little girl in an effort to alienate him. Ever hear of parental alienation. This is how it starts. Little hints like "is he still dressing you?" "Are you ok?" "Was he rough?" She needs to stop asking the daughter about this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like your working up to making an unconscionable accusation without actually doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't see how helping her dress is a sign of molestation.[b] I dress my 7 year old son on many many mornings b/c he just takes too long. He CAN do it. But many mornings he just isn't getting it done at the time it needs to. I am NOT molesting my son. I am his mother and I'm getting his clothes on. That's something that parents do with children. I don't know what your households look like but 8-15 minutes is simply not available in my house in the morning during the week. I get the clothes out, if it takes more then about 1 mintue to get them on then time is being wasted and I help to move it along. For OP to say that the father is "lying" b/c he said he would let her dress herself but then helped her twice in a week, that makes no sense. That isn't "lying." Sounds like he tried it but it just didn't work out when he tried it your way for his schedule in the morning in his house. If there are signs the father is molesting the child then deal with those. This is not one of them. You and your husband/partner are separated/divorced. Seems odd to me that you should be dictating to him how to act in his own household - sending an egg timer? I think you are fomenting issues between your Ex and her father which aren't healthy for her in the long run. Back off.

No one said it is. Even remotely.

OP is, on the other hand, insinuating it, even as she denies she's saying it.

Which is really disgusting.