Condo neighbor relations

[Anonymous]

Be the better person and be civil. I agree with the nanny thesis, not that it is okay to be rude to nanny. Make sure they realize you are an owner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably think you are the nanny and that therefore, its OK to be rude to you.

This thought sincerely never occurred to me until now. But you are probably right.

My SIL is from Argentina and has a dark complexion and speaks Spanish as her first language. My nephews are both blonde with fair skin. I used to take them swimming to out local YMCA (this was in a wealthy CT suburb) and they loved loved lived coming with me, so when I moved away I bought an expensive family membership for SIL and the boys. I was disappointed that she seemed to go only twice even though they offered free day care while exercising and the boys loved swimming more than anything. Finally, my SIL told me that everyone was rude all the time. I had only ever seen lovely old rich white biddies getting their water aerobics in, and they were sweet as pie, so I thought she must have another reason why he avoided going.

The next time I visited, the boys begged me to take them swimming, so I convinced my SIL to go and used a guest pass on her membership. When we went into the dressing room, I couldn't believe it -- they were taking openly about my SIL, saying how mad they'd be that a nanny speaks to the boys in Spanish, etc. Her English isn't great, but she knew they were saying bad things. One saw my nephew run to me and asked to speak with me privately and told me that my nanny was very rude and always spoke Spanish to my boys. I said loudly, "These are my brother's boys and this is their mother. They are fully fluent in English and Spanish and their mother can speak to them in whatever language she prefers."

It never occurred to me 'till then that they thought they had free license to be rude to her b/c she was "the help". They were never that rude again, but still, it sucks

[Anonymous]

Classism and racism never dies. Geez. People scared of those who are different.

[Anonymous]

Yea, my first thought when you described yourself was "they think she's the nanny". They were around when it was acceptable to be racist and they might even see you as "what's wrong in America". Not your problem! I wouldn't go out of my way to "prove" my worth...you should be respected even as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my condo a woman yelled at me for taking her laundry out of the communal dryer because it still had time. I waited for 10 minutes to move it and then folded her clothes. I think she might have been crazy.

So, they're probably everywhere.

I hate people who take out my laundry. She was only 10 minutes late, not as she left it there for hours.

Then get your damn laundry out of the COMMUNITY dryer. Or buy your OWN dryer and keep your clothes in it until the cows come home.

The only way to get people to not take our your laundry? STOP LEAVING IT IN THE MACHINE.

Don't yell at me and don't touch my clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my condo a woman yelled at me for taking her laundry out of the communal dryer because it still had time. I waited for 10 minutes to move it and then folded her clothes. I think she might have been crazy.

So, they're probably everywhere.

You took out her laundry while the dryer was still running/ had time?

You sound rude, self-centered, and unduly entitled.

Nope, I took it out after it had been finished for 10 minutes.

She then accused me of taking it out while it still had time, like an hour later when I was finishing up my load.

Ah, OK. Original post did not make that clear.

She's wrong, after 10 mins. or so I agree you can remove clothes (respectfully of course).

[Anonymous]

If it is racism, as others are guessing, I learned that in some circles simply saying "Excuse me" when you need to get by is considered more polite than "I'm so sorry to interrupt but I need to get by. Would you mind moving?" Where I'm from "excuse me" borders on rude, but in other groups, keeping it short & to the point is the right way to go. Try that next time.

And if they don't like you because you "don't belong", then just stick to yourself for the most part. They'll think your smiles are insincere.

[Anonymous]

I think OP needs to stop being so nice. Sometimes, people (such as your neighbors) take that as weakness. You don't need to defer to anyone simply because you're the new kid on the block at this point. You belong there and should act accordingly. I have to catch this myself sometimes as a young minority or a woman in circles where I am the only. It's usually a non-issue in most situations, but sometimes, being super nice means people walk over you. It's like they don't respect anything but power/strength. I think this is why the first wave of women in any industry tends to be the no-nonsense type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

12:14 - THIS. DC is perfect? Yeah right.

I didn't say DC is perfect, but I don't think people walk around cond buildings calling people "shitheads"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They think you are the nanny, OP. Agree with PP who said go to the meeting to announce that you and DH just BOUGHT in the building. I don't know what kind of job you had pre-kids, but depending on its Q factor, you might want to say, "I used to ________ but since DC was born, I've been staying home with them."

The biddies will go home and look up how much you paid for your unit. Then they should be damn grateful for how much you increased their net worth.

They will also start describing you as "that nice young Central American woman who used to be a [insert job title] here before she had that darling child." Then they will feel all liberal and good about themselves for their progressiveness.

Op here. I was a lawyer. You Know, I kind of don't care anymore. Again someone was so rude to me today and I could give a crap anymore. Thanks for the good advice everyone.

Yes, march right into the meeting and say "I'm an owner and lawyer! Be nice to me waaaah!"

[Anonymous]

PP, ITA about not being nice. It is not about power or strength. Instead, it is simply that you can not be nice to some people. They have a miserable life and want you to be miserable too. They want to bring you down, beat you down, as others have beat them down.

Avoid them like the plague they are, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't even imagine. I live in a condo building downtown, which I love. The people are wonderful and extremely nice I've made great friends.

This sounds made up.

Are you in the same demographic as OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't even imagine. I live in a condo building downtown, which I love. The people are wonderful and extremely nice I've made great friends.

This sounds made up.

Are you in the same demographic as OP?

An Argentine lawyer? No.

However I am a minority in my building and never had an issue. But, I live downtown where I guess everyone is a little more friendly.

[Anonymous]

18:00 - Funny!

[Anonymous]

Be civil and polite but don't take it personally or let it get you down if they are rude