Yes, you definitely should have written off that frosting - so not worth doing the little power struggles with this woman. She waited until you were in the bathroom very purposefully, and you rose to the bait. She's a crafty one. I feel for you, because I think she's playing games and doing it on purpose, but you have years ahead of you, so I definitely agree with the IGNORE advice. Ignore as much as you can, grin at her when you want to say something, carry a flask on dinners out. Ignore extra doses of icing, ignore bitchy comments from friends who think they're just adorable. I know it's a slippery slope and all, but choose your battles and don't let her get to you. It might drive her and her biddy buddies nuts to not see your wall and pictures on fb, though, so that's probably a good idea. |
Exactly my thought too. |
and just how old is your MIL? Matter of fact how old are you? |
I second this one! LOL! |
I would probably just write "Hahahahaha" as a reply and let her wonder if I was cooler than MIL made me out to be, or I was laughing at the fact that she would never visit.
Along a similar vein that also delivers a slap to MIL would be, "certainly, when he visits you," which both implies that there are special anti-MIL rules, and that such a visit would never happen. Or I'd ignore it. |
Quoted and nodding in agreement; however, I'll ad a few points. I have a very similar make/model of a MIL. She was nearly obsessed with giving my kids candy and oddly, gum, when they were just toddlers. Really, gum to a 15 month old. I digress. Fast forward a decade, and she STILL tries to edge her way in and I keep her at arm's length. At heart, my MIL is very self-involved and truly can't think about how her actions may affect others. She is always correct and is a snob about it. In order to deal (and she's local), I don't really share details of our family life (so she can't gossip), I never ask her for advice and I dread interacting with her. I'm also NOT on FB, but she is. |
The advice was very different when our parents were raising kids. My Mom and I talk about this at length - and are pretty happy that things are different now. When I was a baby - my Mom was told by MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS that formula is better for the baby. My brother was born first, and my Mom had a hard time getting him to latch, so he ended up being formula fed. She never had the support we have now a days. I feel bad for how it was for her - things would have been so much easier for her if she had the support we do now. When I was born, I latched much easier so I was BF. As a SAHM, she was glad to be BF rather than bottle feeding. I think a lot of grandparents are not up to date on the current thinking on child rearing. My one MIL (I have two) said they fed the babies all solids - no order to things. She finds it interesting that the advice has changed - but is supportive of how we do it now. |
One of my favorite quotes applies here
βIn every good marriage it pays sometimes to be a little bit deaf.β Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933β), U.S. Supreme Court Justice, on her 56-year marriage to Martin Ginsburg. New Yorker, March 11, 2013 I think this applies not only to dealing with DH but also dealing with other family memebers. I would ignore the FB comment. I too would have taken away the frosting but I wouldn't have made a big deal out of it. And if MIL tried to engage me about it, I would say a taste is enough and change the subject. Some people feed off this kind of thing - don't engage them. |
On response to 9:38... I'm the poster whose mil is very opposed to nursing.
I nursed my first til about 18 months, despite mils constant interference. They live close by, so it's easy for them to comment. MIL thinks bm is not as fattening abreast milk, feels like its not as satifying. She saw a bottle of my pumped milk and was horrified at he watery it was compared to formula. English isn't her first language so I feel like I can't even have an intelligent conversation with her about why I am nursing and not supplementing. In the thick of a newborn, |
I don't want to hear her annoying comments anyway. They are so unfounded and ridiculous. I believe many of her nieces and friends dds formula fed too so he sees that as the norm. |
OP, ignore, ignore, ignore.
I know it is difficult. My MIL swipes at me every chance she has. She has completely alienated me, and is too dense to figure it out. Really, if she kept her mouth shut about personal things, she would be much better off. Again, she is too dense to realize it. DH attends most things, but I don't even bother. It often seems MIL is just looking for trouble. How on earth is gossiping about someone going to bring you *closer* to them? WTH? Plenty of MILs *say* they are supportive. No one believes it unless they actually *see* it! In action! Do your best to ignore it. I'm sorry this happened to you. |
OP, I don't think I am following. Why would your DC ever be visiting some random friend of your MIL's that you have never met? That part would bother me more than the icing swipe. |
This happened to me too a complete stranger knew more about my reproductive history than I would have EVER shared with them. I was horrified and felt my trust was betrayed! My sister was the offender though. Now, I feel I've learned my lesson and I don't share anything unless I'm okay with it getting out. I probably need to bring it up with her at some point though. OP, I think you've received good advice from others here I just had to commiserate with this PP. |
I agree |
Meh...you and MIL have slightly different parenting techniques, but similar ways to vent. You differed in what your DC could snack on. MIL went to her friends to vent. You came to DCUM to vent. Unfortunately, MIL's friend was etiquette-challenged and should have known not to say anything, but didn't so said something rude to you. Just mark it up to the busy-body was rude. Ignore it, delete the FB comment if it really bothers you (I'd just leave it there, since most of my friends would think it was more a commentary on her than me) and move on. So unimportant in the grand scheme of things, especially since you said you and MIL get along pretty well in general. |