putting my foot down about homework: vent and rally cry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

For elementary and middle schoolers, homework is theft. It's a destroyer of childhood. Don't be afraid to stand firm and insist that busywork not steal a moment of your child's free time. That is the only way this changes.

You sound crazy, fyi. Destroyer of childhood?

Your child is going to have an extremely tough time when they get to college. Or are you planning on having this same conversation with her professors lol

The DD she will probably be getting a Mrs. degree. Fun is the most important thing. since the kid will probably be inheriting the beach house someday, why worry about all this homework bullshit?

"Crazy" PP here. Thanks for sharing your uninformed perspectives on child development. We're not rich. Our child will have to support herself, and in order to do that she'll have to be a thoughtful, creative problem-solver. I am unclear on the role of repetitive math worksheets (long after she has achieved mastery and tests at the 99th percentile) in developing these traits. Her robot-building, the stories she writes for pleasure, the time she spends playing chess with her dad? Clearly valuable.

There is no documented benefit to homework in elementary school. It steals the time young children need for developmentally crucial work they must do in order to integrate what they're learning. There *is* documented benefit to the physical/intellectual/social play and other activities that homework displaces. Ultimately, children need to learn to work independently with minimal structure, and learn how to recharge themselves under stress, to succeed as independent adults. Unscheduled time to pursue what they care about is part of raising a good student and sound adult.

The better approach is that homework ramps up slowly beginning in middle school, primarily in subjects that are becoming more complex and requiring more repetition. Advanced math and language practice, for instance. Work in other subjects should be journal/essay-type responses with some complex research paper assignments. By the time they get to college, they'll be doing less repetitive, more substantive work, AND they won't be completely burned out as human beings.

[Anonymous]

I agree. I let the ES heap on the homework. Then I got off the bus, and gave my kids their childhoods back. Our expectation of HS+College+Grad degree -- everyone in the family-- adds up to many years in school. Why burn them out in the lower grades? It took courage, but we are much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I let the ES heap on the homework. Then I got off the bus, and gave my kids their childhoods back. Our expectation of HS+College+Grad degree -- everyone in the family-- adds up to many years in school. Why burn them out in the lower grades? It took courage, but we are much happier.

What did you do? Change schools, homeschool? Please share. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think all parents who hate the homework load should say so and demand better! We just returned from a year in the UK, Scotland to be exact. Legally kids don't have to do homework until secondary school. We were asked if we'd like our child to have homework yes or no. We said yes to see what it was like. There was a bit of homework every week but not due daily and mostly it was longer term projects tied well to the curriculum and involved lots of independent interests of the kids. We can say no to rediculous amounts and we need to make schools more aware of the burden. Kids in Scotland score better on math, science, geography and literature than most american kids and they're not killing themselves....that happens later.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the child's homework is really too much and challenging for the parent. We know the kind.

[Anonymous]

The solution is easy and typically American.

Just outsource the homework -- like educational consultants, tutors, nannies, dating services, personal trainers and psychotherapists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the child's homework is really too much and challenging for the parent. We know the kind.

I'm trying to teach myself algebra. Unfortunately DC's 7th grade Algebra I is a little over my head so I'm not much help on the homework.

[Anonymous]

"Crazy" PP here. Thanks for sharing your uninformed perspectives on child development. We're not rich. Our child will have to support herself, and in order to do that she'll have to be a thoughtful, creative problem-solver. I am unclear on the role of repetitive math worksheets (long after she has achieved mastery and tests at the 99th percentile) in developing these traits. Her robot-building, the stories she writes for pleasure, the time she spends playing chess with her dad? Clearly valuable.

I think the point you shodul take from this thread, crazy PP, is that when you use hyperbolic language like "destroyer of childhood" you are immediately dismissed as a loon. You make some valid points, but they're all undercut by your apparent insanity. If you moderate your language a bit, you'll be much more efffctive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The solution is easy and typically American.

Just outsource the homework -- like educational consultants, tutors, nannies, dating services, personal trainers and psychotherapists.

Please go back to helicoptering your tall Churchill boy.