putting my foot down about homework: vent and rally cry

[Anonymous]

my bright, hard working 4th grader has WAAY too much homework. its not healthy and its negatively impacting the rest of the family. i want to put my foot down and tell the school she just won't be spending this much time on homework and that they need to prioritize what she needs to do so that it can be done in an hour, preferably less. period. (call me crazy) i think that spending 7 hours a day on directed learning is plenty. i resent that my entire family's lives are now held hostage on a daily basis by my 9 year old's teacher.

its wrong and its unhealthy. there is much more to life than schoolwork and the balance is waay off kilter. she is not struggling. she is not living in a deprived environment. she has no special needs. she's a normal, average, healthy kid who needs time with NOTHING PLANNED (not the time that just 'in between' the planned stuff where you are just waiting for the next planned event0 she needs it every day. she needs time to learn how to do chores and then time to do them, to learn about grocery shopping and cooking/baking, time to garden, play with friends in an unstructured, nondirected way. Time to play outside/exercise (thats not PE or 15 mins of 'recess') Time to read for pleasure: whatever she wants for as long as she wants and visit and get lost in the library. Time to do some community service. Time to hang out and bond with her family, go to museums, see a move, visit her grandparents. time to learn a craft like knitting or sewing or woodworking. time to play board games and chess and do puzzles and lie on the bed and watch the shadows move. go for a walk in the woods. go to a nature center. learn about having a bank account. go to the 6pm free shows at the kennedy center. she, and all kids (and dare I say it...adults, too!) need time to experience and learn about life, which is sooo much more than academics, but yet connects with and enriches academics, too. i'm not talking about watching tv, web surfing or playing video games..but they have a place, too..and good for times when the brain is drained.

you can't learn about life if every minute of it is structured and planned, because you can't plan every teachable moment or experience. "real" Life should not be relegated to a few unstructured hours on weekends or summer break.

unless a family is struggling with poverty or serious illness, just living life and being a child should be a rich, educational learning experience in an of itself.

vent over. thank you for reading. if you agree, speak up so that i am not the lone voice in the wilderness.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree! Kids should have time to be kids and enjoy/explore the world.

[Anonymous]

You and your kid are at the wrong school. Did you not know the culture/expectations when you selected the school?

[Anonymous]

Which schools assign too much home work for 4th graders?

[Anonymous]

I hear you. We've been down this path with both our kids (now in MS/HS). Unfortunately, most people/schools around here equate being super busy/scheduled with good teaching so tons of homework is seen as a good thing. Even though the research supports your beliefs, I predict that you're not going to get much sympathy and will be perceived as a poor/whiny parent - I know that is how it went back when my kids were younger. Unfortunately, the only way to deal with this issue is to find a school that will support your beliefs. There are VERY few schools that do not believe in ramping up the homework by 4th grade. FWIW, when my kids were younger, I put my foot down and didn't let either of them work more than 1 hour a day on homework no matter what (usually, much less than that). They are both doing very well in 8th and 10th grades (with lots of homework) now so I really don't believe that refrain that without homework in ES, kids won't know how to handle larger amounts of homework in the upper grades.

[Anonymous]

OP, you literally paid for this. Clearly your kid and this private school aren't a good fit. Try public.

[Anonymous]

From what I see with friends' kids, I don't think the amount of homework is significantly less in MoCo and FFx Cty publics, but I could be mistaken!

[Anonymous]

OP, I could have written your post as well as the post of the PP with kids in MS and HS. My kids have been in private and are now in 8th and 11th grades in MOCo public. The song is the same -- if anything it's worse in public for my high schooler. He spends an average of 3 hrs/day studying and doing homework out of school. He is an efficient student too- I can't imagine what happens to kids with AdHD or a mild LD. It is nuts! I'm not sure what we can do about it though, short of homeschooling.

[Anonymous]

My DC did not have a lot of homework in 4th grade at her private. We were always told that if something is taking too long she should put it aside and speak to the teacher. Does the teacher know how much time your DC is spending on homework?

[Anonymous]

Google "Race to Nowhere."

[Anonymous]

Last year, my son was doing too much hw in Middle School and I finally talked to somebody in late November. I was really disappointed I did not ask earlier. Yes he was doing way more HW than most the kids. They gave him strategies to be more efficient and his HW load was less.

Our school sends a note every year saying if you child is doing too much HW (not exam week) to contact his advisor for remediation.

Is everybody having the same issue at your school?

My 5th grader has an hour give or take.

[Anonymous]

key here is whether they are assigning too much homework or it's just taking her a lot longer than it should.

My DS has about 1 or 1.5 hrs of homework most nights but it takes him around 3 hours to complete it.

Also studying for a test the next day isn't homework. That's your choice whether you want to do that or not.

[Anonymous]

OP. I completely agree with you. I could have written your post. Problem is there is no solution until the schools change. Recent studies have indicated that homework (massive amounts) have no benefit before 8th grade. But public and private schools think parents want homework so they assign it. And changing private schools is not going to work. Been there, done that. And public is just more of the same. My kids do nothing but school, homework, church (maybe), and college apps. The system is simply broken - especially when you factor in the fact that via the AP system, colleges have effectively shifted the first year or two (depending on how many AP classes you take) down to the public and private high schools.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the Head of School. When enough people complain they change it.

[Anonymous]

Your 4th grader has this much homework and gets 15 minutes of recess? Yikes. This is at an independent school?