Grandparents who don't care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:33. Why do you keep your mother in your life? She was glad you had a miscarriage? She shows no sympathy over you having 8? I tend to think it would be healthier for you mentally to cut this awful woman out of your life.

+1

I would have cut her out after that first comment - how enraging. Glad to see that your MIL is a gem, though.

Agreed. I think it's time to dust out the old NYT article about when parents are too toxic to tolerate. Please, PP with 8 miscarriages, read this link. Read the blog and the 1000+ comments and read the linked article. You CAN cut poisonous parents out of your life.

I haven't cut mine out but have drastically reduced the contact I have with them. They don't live close by, and the distance helps. Good luck, PP.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/divorcing-your-parents/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I probably should learn not to care already, but it really hurts my feelings when my child's grandparents don't call for 2 or 3 months at a time. They live fairly close and claim to be old and not able to drive much yet they drive the same distance to their other house almost every weekend. When they're not doing that, they are traveling the world (we are talking Cambodia here). I'm just fed up and feel bad for my son. That's it. Vent over.

Have you said or indicated in any way that they are not welcome? Chances are good that you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I probably should learn not to care already, but it really hurts my feelings when my child's grandparents don't call for 2 or 3 months at a time. They live fairly close and claim to be old and not able to drive much yet they drive the same distance to their other house almost every weekend. When they're not doing that, they are traveling the world (we are talking Cambodia here). I'm just fed up and feel bad for my son. That's it. Vent over.

Have you said or indicated in any way that they are not welcome? Chances are good that you have.

No, I havent. I busted my ass for the past three years to make sure they see their grandchild. They never stay with us anyway (their choice) so that's not why they don't come and visit. They don't visit because they are selfish and clueless. No idea what you based your question on, but you are way off.

[Anonymous]

PP, don't despair. I know people who have very warm, consistent, helpful families - tons of free help - and they are clueless and judgmental about those with terrible parents/grandparents. They are pure ingrates.

If you do not believe there are terrible parents/grandparents, then we don't believe that every child is different and your child is simply a brat because s/he has too much FREE help! See, now the tables are turned. How does that feel?

Does it sounds rational? Nor does the assumption that anyone DID anything to cause bitter parents/grandparents. Some people simply do not have the mental capacity (yes it takes smarts, and a conscientious choice) to be a good parent/grandparent. Some people were bad parents to begin with, so they will never be a good (not even great, just good0 grandparent.

I don't think asking for a decent parent/grandparent is too much to ask. But don't expect me to take care of you when you are old if you are an a&&hole.