People without kids

[Anonymous]

What I feel for my cat and what I feel for my child is the same. There was nothing new about the feelings I had for him because they are the same feelings I had for the kitty. Just more intense. Much, much more intense.

No, dogs and cats are not people. And yes, people who tell you all about how what their cat did just after you tell them something about your child can get annoying. But so can people who tell you stuff about their children, frankly. And what is wrong with trying to relate to you?

I think people who don't have animals can't really understand love. (I'm kidding, for heaven's sake!)

[Anonymous]

Op, I think that your post demonstrates some of the worst features of the DCUM community. You assume that these women have to be unhappy just because they may have made choices that differ from yours. I love my daughter more than I say explain and its a love that is totally unconditional, but I when I look back at my life before her, I would say that I am at the same place on the happiness and fullfillment scale. It just that different things now create those feelings. In fact to be conpletely honest, while I am just as happy and fullfilled, I definately have more stress now that I am a parent.

How dare you suggest that woman must "have something missing from her life" just because she is childless.

[Anonymous]

How dare you suggest that woman must "have something missing from her life" just because she is childless.

Not fair to jump on OP like that, IMHO. She merely posed a question and stated how she felt and what she wondered about.

If you want others to respect your input, I don't think you should attack others for how they feel.

[Anonymous]

PP again: I'd also like to point out the main question of OP's post was the following:

Do you honestly think a person can really know true love without having kids?

It's a fair, honest question and something I've wondered about, too. In my mind, hust because you don't agree with the question's premise doesn't mean you should attack the asker.

[Anonymous]

PP again: obviously, "hust" should be "just." Typing too quickly for my own good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again: I'd also like to point out the main question of OP's post was the following:

Do you honestly think a person can really know true love without having kids?

It's a fair, honest question and something I've wondered about, too. In my mind, hust because you don't agree with the question's premise doesn't mean you should attack the asker.

Hey, I'm not the poster who criticized the OP, but I'm going to pile on a little here because I strongly disagree with your assessment of the question as "fair and honest." I think regardless of the putative question format of the OP's original post, she has clearly stated her position (and it's not undecided) by the way she asks the question. When I say, "Do you think these shoes look good with this bag?" I'm asking an honest question and I want your opinion. When I say, "Do you honestly think these shoes really look good with that bag?" I'm stating my opinion, which is something like, "Honey, those shoes look awful with that bag."

[Anonymous]

Fair enough, PP. But what I meant by "honest" was that the question (and moreover, the whole original post) was honestly what she felt.

[Anonymous]

OK, PP, I see what you mean, too.

[Anonymous]

Having even just one child was a hard sell for me. I love my son, but I certainly don't find that life with child is better than life before child. Believe me, there is plenty I miss about my old life! I am enjoying parenthood, but people really glorify it and tend to smooth over the difficult stuff. Nothing wrong with deciding not to have kids.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP 15:52.

[Anonymous]

This isn't a very balanced a debate since the vast majority of posters on DCUrban Moms and Dads have kids.

The MIL who refers to the SILs dogs as one of the poster's childrens' cousins is just weird. Dog and pet lovers are fine, no problem there. The people who dress up their poodles in various outfits and pretend they are people are in an entirely different ballpark. They don't need kids, they need to get a life.

[Anonymous]

PP - Can't wait for the poodle dressers to come after you... should be entertaining. I am relatively new to this board. I've gotten A LOT of really great advice already, but I just want to say I'm amazed at how quickly people tend to fly of the handle at what they deem to be inappropriate questions or disagreeable answers. There's a certain amount of intolerance here that surprises me given how well spoken (written) the posters seem to be overall. In other works, seems to a pretty educated crowd. Also, the number of times I've seen people take cheap shots at others for misspelling a word or two... weird. It's kind of stifling. I think there are more constructive ways of responding to questions/responses that are perceived as ignorant or are contrary to ones own moral sensibilities.