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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
People without kids
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Anonymous
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I have two beautiful children that I conceived from IVF after years of wondering if I would ever be a mother.
I'm no happier now than I was pre-children. I love my children with my entire being but they do not define my happiness in life. Had I not had them I would have most certainly have lived a just as fulfilled life. |
Anonymous
I'm not sure why you are concerned with how other people choose to live their lives but assume it's just a philosophical exercise? Some people don't want kids. Some people can't have kids. Some people shouldn't have kids - sadly even some who already do. Personally I admire people who know themselves well and realize they wouldn't be such great parents. Because all too often you see people who seem to have had kids just because it's "what you are supposed to do." And you know who suffers? The kids. I think being childless is waaaayyy better than a resentful or angry or ill-equipped parent. To the poster who thought her sister would be a great Mom and wanted to tell her to have kids because it would make her happy? Wow. You might have noticed from posts on this very board that motherhood does not necessarily make all women happy. Maybe your sister is not your identical emotional twin. In any case I can tell you with certainty that she knows her better than you know her. Not that that was an actual sentence... 
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Anonymous
| the OP did not ask if people were happier with kids, she asked if they knew true love", without kids. Unconditional. Not the kind you have for your husband, it could end, but TRUE LOVE. I say, if you don't have kids, you could not possible know what true, UNCONDITIONAL love feels like. Happier or not. FYI not a Nazi, where ever that came from. |
Anonymous
| Love is a condition of the heart. Love is not determined by one's life circumstances (such as being a parent). The true test of love is how we react when we are treated poorly or challenged in other ways. So, having children is certainly a good test for love. But, it is not theprerequisite for true love. Think about people of faith who choose to never become parents, yet dedicate their lives to other people despite poor treatment. |
Anonymous
| I love that last post and totally agree with it. I frankly think it is nuts and rather narrow minded to assume that one can't experience true, unconditional love if one is not a parent. |
Anonymous
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I had decided that I didn't want to have children when I was in my early 20's. I loved my nieces and nephews to pieces, but I didn't feel as if I needed to have children to complete my life. I knew from living with my sister and her two babies what it was like to be a mother. I loved those boys like they were my own, and when I moved I ached for them like I would have for my own biological children.
I was very careful and took my birth control at a precise time every day, and even had an alarm go off so I wouldn't forget. I would use a back up method if on antibiotics. I was scheduled to have my tonsils removed, and they did a pregnancy test as part of the pre-op. I was unbelievably shocked when my surgery had to be cancelled. Now, I have two beautiful children that I love with every fiber of my being. I can't say that they complete my life, but they make do make it more enjoyable. I wouldn't trade them in for anything in the world, and given the choice, I would do it all over again. I can just understand why someone wouldn't want to have children. I think it is better for people who would be good parents to choose not to be parents, than those who are terrible and abusive to have them. |
Anonymous
| Don't know unconditional love without kids?? Beyond stupid. It's that kind of thinking that makes people annoyed with the group of people in the world who have kids because it smacks of superiority--sorry but there are a lot of parents who don't know unconditional love if it walked into their face. I am sensitive to this because I married late in life and then had a child and had to listen to endless conversations premarriage of the "you'll know true love when you have a child" theme. Well I did marry and have a baby and I love her endlessly and feel an overwhelming need to nurture her and love her but I also feel this way toward my parents and siblings and if I didn't marry and then have her, I still feel I would have known this kind of special love. Some people in this world feel the need to share their love in different ways--maybe with only a partner maybe with a partner and family, maybe with a passion for a cause or a religion--it's all personal and it's all special. |
Anonymous
| I have a four month old daughter and I love her dearly, BUT I desperately miss my pre-baby life. I miss being able to sleep in, travel at the drop of a hat, have alone time with my husband, see my friends, have hobbies, advance in my career . . . I feel like an awful mother for even saying this, but I think our lives would have been just as wonderful with (or without) our daughter. |
Anonymous
| I feel sorry for your daughter |
Anonymous
I am not the PP. But I am going to say that I feel sorry for the person cruel enough to post this. I feel sorry for YOU. |
Anonymous
Many of us feel this way in the beginning. There's a sense of loss of your old life. But remember, your baby is just 4 months old. You are still in the "hard part" and sleep-deprived . It DOES get better. And your child will eventually be a part of your life in a way that you can still have alone time with your husband, see friends, have hobbies, and even deal with a career. You'll travel differently (with a LOT more stuff!) but it's fun!
After my DD turned one, most everything fell back into place (except my career...only because I was suddenly less interested in it!) Good luck! You're NOT an awful Mom! |
Anonymous
I also have a four month old and feel the same way. You are not alone. |
Anonymous
| I am a fertility specialist and this post saddens me. I have so many patients that have shed so many tears in my office over the comments and sentiments that have been posted on this discussion. Clearly, I see a biased sample of patients (those without kids wo really want them) but just from being out in our community, I cannot tell you how many women have confided to me about their inability to achieve or sustain a pregnancy. Very sad... |
Anonymous
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To think no one can experience unconditional love w/o kids is at best condescending (and silly) and at worst, ignorant and narrow-minded.
I love my daughter so much that I sometimes ache when I look at her. I would do anything for her. But, her existence does not define me. Nor does it make me more/less capable of experiencing love. |
Anonymous
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My perfume: O de Puke
My tailor: Elastic Waist My dinner: Yes Please My sanity: Questionable My choices: My own (& I respect yours) Live and let live!! |