Feeling sad about lack of playdates

[Anonymous]

Op I liked the poster whom said you can "turn this ship around." your dd is 4..this can all work out. Many posts on this thread so not sure if you are going to a new k but if you are great. I would talk to the teacher and ask for Playdate suggestions and ask the teacher if she can make a point to talk to parents about having playsates with everyone..our teacher did this and it was so helpful. We started a new private this year where most kids had been going to school together for several years (unlike public which starts k). I was so nervous but now you wouldn't know my dd started this year. As for being old..I was 40 having dd so age is what you feel and I see parents of all age..don't worry about it. I would try to make playsates easier though..don't go on and on about dd food issues..just pack a snack for her and it takes a problem off the table or say..if dd just can stick with fruit..long story but she doesn't eat gluten ..see no drama. And try to plan some group things..invite a few girls over for a movie etc.. If you do see dd excluded..talk to the teacher..if they are good they will get involved. As for parents..make it easier..invite some parents over for cocktails ..be upbeat. If will all be fine if you allow it to be fine.

[Anonymous]

I had the same feeling trying to get my DD settled into a new preschool with a group that had been together for a long time. I found K to be much easier since few of the kids knew each other. I went to back to school night with a mental list of the kids my DS said he had met and then set up playmates with their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- to be clear, I have put myself out there by inviting kids over for dinner after school or on weekend playdates and for suggesting outings on the weekend. I keep trying but more times than not, nothing pans out. These plans are with the kids my DD plays with at school. I think the PP thinks I do nothing and that is incorrect.

I am trying not to let the criticism given here make me feel less adequate. I am my own worse critic, believe me. To be honest, part of it is that my DD's small class has many Moms that were friends before they had kids since they work together. They all have a strong bond. I may not be the most exciting person in the world but I am pleasant, well meaning, caring, and I show an interest in what the Moms and kids are involved in.
I hope and pray that Kindergarten brings new opportunities. So far, the person or persons that suggested to keep trying in K has been the most helpful. Maybe we will find more rewards in new friendships.

OP, I think you are taking all of this too personal. I say this with the kindest of intents but you seem to be stuck in a self-defeating cycle or self-criticsm/ not wanting to do anything to change/ and defensiveness. I say this as somone who has been there, done that and struggle to not be a negative person on an almost daily basis. I think you need to stop worrying about this for a second a focus on yourself and improving your vision of the world and yourself. When you protect positive energy, you receive positve energy. I didn't read all of the previous posts but a lot of people were giving you spot on advice and your response was "typical DCUM response." They were just being honest and actually helpful. If you take a second and re read some of the comments and not come at it from a perspective of people were trying to cut you down, you might learn something. The benefit of an anoymous forum is that you are free to ask what you want but in return get real and honest answers. You are making this more about you than about the kid and I think taking the "lack" of invites as a reflection of your own self- worth. For your own sake and your daughter's please stop. If you find it hard to make friends (which I do as well so I am not knocking you), don't project that onto your daughter. Imagine all the discomfort you feel and then think that by not projecting that onto her you will be saving her from the discomfort that you feel. You might be surprised at how mcuh your child blossoms.

This is wise advice, apparently offered with kindnes and empathy. I think it's worth considering, OP.