friends thief, what would you pps do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait - this "FT" has no kids but shows up at all of your kid's events? How very strange. It's details like that that have me wondering if this post is for real because I have never known people like this in real life - perhaps on TV.
If this is real, then OP you just have to take a step back and nurture other friendships.

I'll clarify. My kids and my friend's kids play sports together. FT shows up with my friend to practices and games about 80% of the time. When FT is not at work, she spend most of her free time with my friend. That's fine by me, except that, she is on my ass all the time. She got married not to long ago to a guy she met through...? you guessed it - my friend. And guess who planned the wedding? You would be right. I want to move beyond all of this, but my friend keep pushing for us to be friend. Last night we were all at a party. My friend rode there with her. I started talking to my friend about about mutual friend whom we have not seen in a while, mid-conversation she chide in, "anytime you want to leave 'Peggy Sue' I'm ready." She repeated herself several times. My friend kept telling her she wasn't ready. I know this reads like fiction, which is why I'm posting, it should be fiction.
You'd need to see it to believe it. I know this is a ridiculous situation, I've deal with her patronizing ways on and off for a year and a half, most recently last night. This is suppose to be a vent, so take that way.

[Anonymous]

OP you are right that this is a ridiculous situation. Frankly your entire life sounds ridiculous. You are just as much a part of this as your friend. Snark aside, I so agree with the PPs who have suggested you do some volunteering, find a job, or at least a hobby. You need some perspective on how clueless you sound. You owe it to your kids to raise them with at least some connection to reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My friend is a people person and is very accessible. She is also very generous and accommodating. She is a nurturer and so, hates to see people suffering who are in need.

This is what you said about your friend. It's the reason you are friends with her in the first place. I think you need to accept that her friendship with FT is part of the package that makes her a great person. Certainly you will only harm your friendship with her by competing with FT for her attention because that's the opposite of who she is.

Your friend is an accepting person, so you need to get on board with that and not fight it. If FT is really bad, she'll eventually come around to that. Until that, get over it.

You are right. I have been making an effort with FT for over a year. I did not expect her to act the way she does. After all, she was the new one, but for some reason it has worked out where she is always competing with me to have last word. For example, I was at my friend house the other night, we were all in the kitchen, my friend asked me to pass her an item, so FT jumped up and said, "I'll get it." This is just one example of her behavior. I absolutely cannot have a conversation with my friend when she's around. I am embarrassed for her because it's bizarre, and very much RHWODC territory. Thus, the vent.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound silly and jealous. If you are really as close to your friend as you say, you should be able to be honest and up-front with her. If you've done that, then accept reality and move on!! Your circle of friends sounds really awful - just a bunch of aggressive social climbers. whew. I'm glad I don't know you - get some real friends, get a LIFE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a life... this possibly the most pithy, vapid DCUM post ever.

I don't think you have a good grasp of what "pithy" means. You were dead on with vapid, though.

yes, please, get yourself a dictionary. this is not pithy!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My friend is a people person and is very accessible. She is also very generous and accommodating. She is a nurturer and so, hates to see people suffering who are in need.

This is what you said about your friend. It's the reason you are friends with her in the first place. I think you need to accept that her friendship with FT is part of the package that makes her a great person. Certainly you will only harm your friendship with her by competing with FT for her attention because that's the opposite of who she is.

Your friend is an accepting person, so you need to get on board with that and not fight it. If FT is really bad, she'll eventually come around to that. Until that, get over it.

You are right. I have been making an effort with FT for over a year. I did not expect her to act the way she does. After all, she was the new one, but for some reason it has worked out where she is always competing with me to have last word. For example, I was at my friend house the other night, we were all in the kitchen, my friend asked me to pass her an item, so FT jumped up and said, "I'll get it." This is just one example of her behavior. I absolutely cannot have a conversation with my friend when she's around. I am embarrassed for her because it's bizarre, and very much RHWODC territory. Thus, the vent.

You are such an idiot - it is annoying. Get a life, get a new group of friends, get a job, volunteer somewhere, anything that will help you mature beyond middle school. When your "friends" are making you this miserable, you need to get new friends. If you need to keep your so-called friends to maintain your social climbing then STFU and just do it.

[Anonymous]

Omg. Get a life, a job, something... You have way too much time on your hands.

Signed another SAHM

You may want to take up the suggestion by another pp and audition for Real Housewives... Augh.

[Anonymous]

OP - it sounds like you are not very outgoing yourself and an introvert. You latched on to your friend years ago and she has been playing a very important role for you and basically allows that you never have to leave your comfort zone. Now your comfort zone is being "threatened" by another outgoing, extrovert friend. Maybe your friend is tired of you stringing along after her and actually likes FT because they have the same kind of personality. Maybe it's easier to hang out with her, maybe after a decade she realizes you guys are just not the same, etc

Friendships change as you get older. It just happens. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly but hanging on when its over it just not good.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't understand why you call the new friend a "friend thief". In reality, (if this is a true story and not a troll post) she is just a new person in your social group and you have decided you don't like her. All your examples of things she does wrong...aren't wrong. They irritate you because you used to be BFF with your circle's head cheerleader and now you aren't. Or, by your description of your BFF, it sounds like maybe you never were as close to her as you thought.

You are very mean and judgmental in your description of the new person (how she's aging, the state of her marriage) and I think you need to check that because sooner or later your negativity is going to get noticed by your other friends and that makes you look ugly, not the new friend.

No one can steal anyone's friendship away. If you don't like the new person, you don't have to be friends with her, but that isn't her stealing anything from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP there are people dying of starvation and lack of water. You are concerned with a friend not giving you enough attention?? Find another BFF I'm sure there are plenty in your elite social circle.

Guess all the threads that people start should be taken off then right?

[Anonymous]

A "thief" can only steal something that belongs to you.

Your friend is not a possession.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your friend has moved on from your friendship. Can't say I blame her.

[Anonymous]

I just can't take the time to read all that. Can't people post a summary of their life story and not all this painful dribble??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just can't take the time to read all that. Can't people post a summary of their life story and not all this painful dribble??

OP is a housewife with a lot of time on her hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old has a very similar situation going on in her classroom and it is creating drama and angst. She wants to be friends with one girl who is very nice and seems interested, but there is another girl who my daughter says, "guards her".

If you want I can let you know how it all plays out in case it might be helpful to you.

I have a 7 year old too. This dynamic must be common at that age.

I can't comment on the original post as I glazed over early on.