s/o - Aborting because a child is "disabled"
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Anonymous
That's right!!!! |
Anonymous
I am so sorry for your loss. During my pregnancies, learning about these fatal conditions had me scared out of mind and wondering what we would do if we had this type of diagnosis from any of the tests. I thank god everyday that I didn't have to face this situation and prayer for those that do. Again my sincere condolences for your loss. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I agree. I never had an abortion. But I would if I had a bad diagnosis. I have a severely handicapped brother in a wheel chair. Will never feed himself, toilet himself... will never walk, never fall in love. He has the mental capacity of maybe a 5 year old. He has seizures and has become increasingly depressed and now catatonic much of the time. His life expectancy is such that my parents, who are elderly, have had to plan for his care for probably 50 years or so after their own death. That is a terrifying idea for them - that they won't be around to be sure he is cared for compassionately. Never mind the guilt they feel for burdening their other children with responsibility for him. My brother's life scared me so bad that I almost didn't have children at all. His life is not a life I would wish on anyone. And I love him, dearly. |
Anonymous
What does that even mean? Can't you come up with anything less trite than the Holland metaphor, or recycled Forrest Gump? I think my head just exploded instead. |
Anonymous
Thank you for posting this. I am very thankful I have never been placed in this position, and I think it is best left to the parents of the child and God what their decision is. I have 2 close friends that had children with heart defects. One died after multiple surgeries in just a few short days of life. I can only imagine that those few days were filled with pain and misery. The other, the defects were less severe and he is a mostly healthy 3 year old. I have always thought if I were in that position, I would have the child but allow for the child to die naturally. However, even that can be a legal battle if you have a hospital that wants to try and save every life, even if it just means living 2-3 months mostly sedated, and when not sedated, in sheer agony. That is why the government should be left out of these heart-wrenching decisions, and leave it to the parents that will have the true best interests of the child in mind. |
Anonymous
Oh, this is so original: "my head just exploded." Never heard that before. Wow! And take your pick: if it is so trite, then why don't you understand it? And particularly funny that you mention Forrrest Gump, since he's one of the individuals who is likely to have been aborted if people responding here had their druthers! |
Anonymous
What's troubling is that it is all the same mindset: if people are so darn scared out of their minds to have a child who is less than perfect, that they're rather kill it, then they are contributing to a society where people only see typically developing people or childrnen around them, and other folks are even afraid of having their children in a classroom with them. Thanks for contributing to this society. Thanks. It's all part and parcel of the same phenomenon. |
Anonymous
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My dad had a sister born with anencephaly in 1933. There was no way for my grandmother to know that she was going to give birth to a baby without a brain and that the child would live less than ten minutes. It was horribly tragic for her and she never healed. My grandmother used to tell my aunt that God took her good daughter and left my rotten aunt in her place. She was so bitter and angry and resentful. She was a nurse and after her dd died she decided to dedicate her life to prenatal care. She worked because she was dedicated to help women like her even if she couldn't deal with what happened in her life.
My mother's sister was born a year later and got stuck in the birth canal. All thoughts were that she was a healthy baby until lack of oxygen and forceps used improperly. They squeezed the sides of her heads and she had marks that lasted the better part of a year. My aunt was slow and epileptic. This grandmother also worked full time, selling magazine subscriptions, from home. She wanted to make sure there was enough money socked away so my aunt would be taken care of when my grandmother and grandfather died. Imagine her surprise when she came home and said she had met someone and that in a few short months they married. They've been married 51 years now. I learned a lot from these women. You never know for sure what's going to happen and as stupid as it does sound, landing in Holland, about sums it up. If my grandmother knew her baby had a condition that wasn't compatible with life she would have had months to prepare or the choice to end the pregnancy. Instead she probably never even got to hold her baby and while she had a name picked out for her it was never put on a death certificate. My other grandmother had a baby injured during birth. In this day and age we have all these tests done to see if there is anything wrong with our child but nothing could predict something like this. I had all the tests done to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. All tests came back fine and both of my babies were born with Apgar scores of 10-10-10. They both had ten fingers and ten toes and zero tails. Perfectly healthy. Except for the fact that neither of them are. By the time they were 7 both had been diagnosed with severe mental illness. There's no testing for that. I grieved for the life I thought we were going to have and was sure the life we would have would be a struggle. And it is. We are all in therapy and prepared for when either kid hits bottom. I can't work because it's all too unpredictable and caring for them is my full-time job. When they are in school I am on call. And trust me, the school calls, all the time. I know the voices of the teachers, receptionists, and nurse so I never have to ask who is calling. I can't say what I would have done if faced with a pregnancy where the child had a condition that wasn't compatible with life. I just don't know. It wasn't something I have had to face. I do know for sure that I wouldn't have aborted if the child was special needs. Down Syndrome, missing a hand, a leg, whatever, it didn't matter to my husband or me. It would have been nice to be prepared though and not for it all to have gone pear shaped on us. |
Anonymous
THIS! These choices are not easy, black and white. |
Anonymous
What? This is damn offensive, PP. Show us some real research to back your accusations up or admit that you are the judgmental and close minded. Spouting this nonsense as if it is some kind of fact is beyond close minded, it's inflammatory and stupid. |
Anonymous
Special Needs mom here. Get back to me when you've posted on THAT thread. |
Anonymous
I'm a special needs mom myself. And I've been on that thread. |
Anonymous
| what about adhd, should we abort those kids also? What about non blonde hair blue eyed or men who will grow up to be less than 6 feet tall. You know that genetic testing is coming to that extent. |
Anonymous
Then you of all people should know that abortion will never eliminate special needs children. ADHD, autism, cerebral palsy, Rett's syndrome, traumatic brain injury, I could go on and on...none of these conditions show up in prenatal testing. |
Anonymous
Agree. Or sex selection. It's disgusting. |