s/o - Aborting because a child is "disabled"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:09 that makes me weep. I cannot imagine hearing those words, and the fact that the OP is so unbelievably unseeing that this is the case for many parents struggling with this information is just beyond the pale.

OP, you need to shut up when you don't know what you're talking about.

I am not the OP, but it makes me weep too. But the only difference is, the fact that you and the above PP are so unbelievably unseeing that killing your own child yourself just to save it from being killed? What? I don't get that?

Not the PP, but I don't get YOUR position. I cannot for a moment imagine putting my child, my beloved child who I dreamed about and wanted so badly, through the things that 11:09 lists. To do so would be the height of cruelty to that baby, leaving aside everything related to how I would feel about it.

And that's leaving aside COMPLETELY the arguments that a) it is not your business what medical decisions I make for my family and b) many people do not actually consider a fetus to be "a child" that can be "killed" (using your emotionally charged words) until the viability threshold, which usually occurs much later than the tests that would reveal the conditions described by 11:09.

You make whatever decisions that you feel are appropriate for your family. I'm with 11:09.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have noticed that there are not many open minds on this site. I think it is because many of the women here have actually had abortions or so it seems from many of these posts. I guess once you've gone through with an abortion, it would be difficult to think that maybe there was another option.

Also, a lot of these women waited until they were past 35 to have children, knowing the risks. So that grouping of women is probably more okay with aborting a child if it happens to have a disability they are not willing to accept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a cousin with spina bifida. She had a very difficult childhood filled with painful surgeries. She is now a college-educated, married woman leading a wonderful life.

I also had a pregnancy that I chose to terminate because of Down Syndrome. I did this because while I know that many people with Down Syndrome go on to lead long, healthy lives, I also know of babies who died immediately after birth, at 4 months, and at 21. I've known families that have fallen apart and elderly parents who are spending their last years caring for adult children who cannot take care of themselves. We decided we did not want to take the chance that that could happen to our family. We did not want our older child to have to care for a disabled child after we are gone. I understand that you can never predict the future, but we considered our odds and chose not to take the chance.

That does not mean I do not value the lives of disabled people, like my cousin. I made a choice that I felt was best for my family and it has nothing to do with other families and their choices. I wish everyone the best of luck with their choices.

what time period did you kill your downsyndrome baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but Spina bifida is NOT comparable to T18/T13.

Spina bifida is a serious, but manageable, condition. These kids and adults are capable of living happy and wonderful lives, just like you or I. Yes, there are extra challenges, but there is so much support and love available for my neice and her whole family.

You do realize that spina bifida just means there is a hole where the spine didn't close? Some holes are bigger than others. Some cause extreme problems that can't be repaired.

Yes, I was there for my neice's birth and NICU stay, so yes I know that there was a large hole (lesion) on her back. Every child born with SB gets the closure surgery right after birth - sometimes it takes the help of a plastic surgeon, but the hole is covered. There is permanent neve damage to the spinal cord (hence the wheelchair), but these kids live, grow and amaze us, just like any child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have noticed that there are not many open minds on this site. I think it is because many of the women here have actually had abortions or so it seems from many of these posts. I guess once you've gone through with an abortion, it would be difficult to think that maybe there was another option.

Also, a lot of these women waited until they were past 35 to have children, knowing the risks. So that grouping of women is probably more okay with aborting a child if it happens to have a disability they are not willing to accept.

I think this PP is right. I find this group very very very militantly pro-abortion so this thread is probably not going to go far. But who knows, maybe it'll touch someone, just one person, or open one person's mind? Either way, thanks for your post and best of luck with your pregnancy, and with your sister and your niece/nephew. Sighing out of this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see NARAL has released its pit bull female dogs in here.

Actually, I don't think so. I think you have reached a couple people who have heard the words "there is a trisomy on chromosome [13, 18]. The condition is incompatible with life. You will probably lose the baby sometime in the second or third trimester. If the baby reaches term, it will probably be still born. If it is born, it will have multiple defects and will die shortly after birth of organ failure. If the baby doesn't immediately die of organ failure, s/he will need at least a dozen surgeries immediately to correct [holes in his/her heart, bone, ...]. The baby will have decreased immunity, so s/he can't play with your other children. S/he will have learning disabilities and will never [walk, talk, eat or breathe on his/her own]. Even with the surgeries and the best medicine we have, the baby will probably die before his/her fourth birthday, because that is the longest any child with this condition has ever lived."

Thank you PP for clarifying this and giving this discussion something to think about.
There are conditions that are treatable and then there are others where your child will be lucky to live a few days, weeks or months. Oh and for other conditions it will be a life in and out of the hospital poked and prodded to death, with gatrointestinal tubes,tracheotomy and or breathing tubes and then endure constant infections. A life full of misery. Sorry faced with that horrible outcome I would rather not bring a life into this world that will no nothing more than suffering. I think that's selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a cousin with spina bifida. She had a very difficult childhood filled with painful surgeries. She is now a college-educated, married woman leading a wonderful life.

I also had a pregnancy that I chose to terminate because of Down Syndrome. I did this because while I know that many people with Down Syndrome go on to lead long, healthy lives, I also know of babies who died immediately after birth, at 4 months, and at 21. I've known families that have fallen apart and elderly parents who are spending their last years caring for adult children who cannot take care of themselves. We decided we did not want to take the chance that that could happen to our family. We did not want our older child to have to care for a disabled child after we are gone. I understand that you can never predict the future, but we considered our odds and chose not to take the chance.

That does not mean I do not value the lives of disabled people, like my cousin. I made a choice that I felt was best for my family and it has nothing to do with other families and their choices. I wish everyone the best of luck with their choices.

Well said. I'm sorry for the loss of your child as that is never easy. My parent's best friends had a child born with severe disabilities (this was back in 1973). Now, both parents are dead and his younger brother has been left to care for him. It has been extremely hard on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have noticed that there are not many open minds on this site. I think it is because many of the women here have actually had abortions or so it seems from many of these posts. I guess once you've gone through with an abortion, it would be difficult to think that maybe there was another option.

Also, a lot of these women waited until they were past 35 to have children, knowing the risks. So that grouping of women is probably more okay with aborting a child if it happens to have a disability they are not willing to accept.

Actually I think people like you, PP are the ones with the closed mind. You can not understand that people have to make a choice for themselves and their families. It's none of your business what choices others make and why.
In your closed mind the only and best decision is the the one you agree with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have noticed that there are not many open minds on this site. I think it is because many of the women here have actually had abortions or so it seems from many of these posts. I guess once you've gone through with an abortion, it would be difficult to think that maybe there was another option.

Also, a lot of these women waited until they were past 35 to have children, knowing the risks. So that grouping of women is probably more okay with aborting a child if it happens to have a disability they are not willing to accept.

I think this PP is right. I find this group very very very militantly pro-abortion so this thread is probably not going to go far. But who knows, maybe it'll touch someone, just one person, or open one person's mind? Either way, thanks for your post and best of luck with your pregnancy, and with your sister and your niece/nephew. Sighing out of this one.

Sorry, I would never abort, and I am very pro-choice and support all women. I cannot know what it's like to make that decision for them, even if I ever was in that position, because I don't live their lives and know how it will affect their families.

It is the height of arrogance and ignorance to judge others on this. OP and PPs, you should be ashamed of yourselves. I know you won't be now, but someday, when you have finally grown wise, you will look back on your judgments and you will regret how much pain you caused others.

[Anonymous]

Many people on this thread do not know of which they speak. Better to hold your tongue and not judge others till you have walked a mile in their shoes. I agree with PP who said you have to trust people to make the best decisions for their families.

[Anonymous]

I have a little girl in a wheelchair. I couldn't care less if other people abort disabled children. Stop using disabled children as political footballs. If you really cared about seriously disabled children, what helps me is if (1) if you fund their free public education and (2) if your kids would be friends with some of them.

Your giving birth to them matters not a whit to me.

[Anonymous]

And let me just add that while you are sitting on your ass crying crocodile tears about the abortion of Special Needs kids, some idiot has gone on for 14 pages in Schools General Discussion about why her children have to go to school with Special Needs kids. This is the real problem for Special Needs kids -- not abortion -- REAL LIFE -- so why not join reality, toots, and dry those crocodile tears. Phantom special needs babies don't need your help. Real special needs kids do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And let me just add that while you are sitting on your ass crying crocodile tears about the abortion of Special Needs kids, some idiot has gone on for 14 pages in Schools General Discussion about why her children have to go to school with Special Needs kids. This is the real problem for Special Needs kids -- not abortion -- REAL LIFE -- so why not join reality, toots, and dry those crocodile tears. Phantom special needs babies don't need your help. Real special needs kids do.

Well said. Best to you and your dc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And let me just add that while you are sitting on your ass crying crocodile tears about the abortion of Special Needs kids, some idiot has gone on for 14 pages in Schools General Discussion about why her children have to go to school with Special Needs kids. This is the real problem for Special Needs kids -- not abortion -- REAL LIFE -- so why not join reality, toots, and dry those crocodile tears. Phantom special needs babies don't need your help. Real special needs kids do.

Wow, PP. That's really troubling and you are absolutely correct!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And let me just add that while you are sitting on your ass crying crocodile tears about the abortion of Special Needs kids, some idiot has gone on for 14 pages in Schools General Discussion about why her children have to go to school with Special Needs kids. This is the real problem for Special Needs kids -- not abortion -- REAL LIFE -- so why not join reality, toots, and dry those crocodile tears. Phantom special needs babies don't need your help. Real special needs kids do.

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