any SAHMs here? looking for perspective from the 50's set!

[Anonymous]

Things seem different when you are older and have less energy. Thank goodness I married a "Rothschild" That was a "choice" as well. 15 years SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is HILARIOUS! Some of you women are just so mean, bitter and judgmental. Look, there's no perfect solution to the WOH/SAH debate. As someone here said a few posts back, "pick your posion." Every choice has a price. Choose as best you can, realizing other women will make different choices than you and that's okay.

Got it? Good. End of discussion.

No, I do not agree. What the "poison" of working full time if you've never had any desire to SAH or work PT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things seem different when you are older and have less energy. Thank goodness I married a "Rothschild" That was a "choice" as well. 15 years SAHM.

So you spend your energy sucking up to your rich husband? Oh that's laudable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things seem different when you are older and have less energy. Thank goodness I married a "Rothschild" That was a "choice" as well. 15 years SAHM.

So you spend your energy sucking up to your rich husband? Oh that's laudable.

Yes. Life seems very black and white to you. You sound very unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is HILARIOUS! Some of you women are just so mean, bitter and judgmental. Look, there's no perfect solution to the WOH/SAH debate. As someone here said a few posts back, "pick your posion." Every choice has a price. Choose as best you can, realizing other women will make different choices than you and that's okay.

Got it? Good. End of discussion.

No, I do not agree. What the "poison" of working full time if you've never had any desire to SAH or work PT?

Well. There's the whole "poison" of higher risks for heart disease and early death from high stress high demand careers. There's the lack of emotional support that you're available to give to your spouse and children. In short, there are all the things that the 1950's Dads did to their wives and children in terms of lack of quality face time, except now both parents are doing it. There equal and opposite downsides to SAH--but you asked about the downsides of working full-time. I was raised by a full-time 'master of the universe' working Mom AND Dad. And it really sucked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things seem different when you are older and have less energy. Thank goodness I married a "Rothschild" That was a "choice" as well. 15 years SAHM.

So you spend your energy sucking up to your rich husband? Oh that's laudable.

Yes. Life seems very black and white to you. You sound very unhappy.

I don't understand this post. My husband sucks up to ME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is HILARIOUS! Some of you women are just so mean, bitter and judgmental. Look, there's no perfect solution to the WOH/SAH debate. As someone here said a few posts back, "pick your posion." Every choice has a price. Choose as best you can, realizing other women will make different choices than you and that's okay.

Got it? Good. End of discussion.

No, I do not agree. What the "poison" of working full time if you've never had any desire to SAH or work PT?

Well. There's the whole "poison" of higher risks for heart disease and early death from high stress high demand careers. There's the lack of emotional support that you're available to give to your spouse and children. In short, there are all the things that the 1950's Dads did to their wives and children in terms of lack of quality face time, except now both parents are doing it. There equal and opposite downsides to SAH--but you asked about the downsides of working full-time. I was raised by a full-time 'master of the universe' working Mom AND Dad. And it really sucked.

I'm not a master of the universe. I have a typical DC policy position where I work 40 or 42 hours a week for $150K. I have a short commute. And why are you worried about the lack of emotional support I can GIVE, rather than RECEIVE? Hello?

[Anonymous]

OP, I say good for you. Any vitriol comes from women who so clearly wish they had the option. Otherwise, why would they try to be so mean? Once a bully, always a bully. Alas, bullies tend to die alone. So be it. Enjoy your years at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things seem different when you are older and have less energy. Thank goodness I married a "Rothschild" That was a "choice" as well. 15 years SAHM.

So you spend your energy sucking up to your rich husband? Oh that's laudable.

Yes. Life seems very black and white to you. You sound very unhappy.

I don't understand this post. My husband sucks up to ME.

+1 He just bought me a new car!

[Anonymous]

I'm almost 50. Married 25 years. Five kids. Three in college. Stay-at-home wife and mom for 23 years.

We aren't wealthy. We live within our means and are very comfortable. I have zero regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things seem different when you are older and have less energy. Thank goodness I married a "Rothschild" That was a "choice" as well. 15 years SAHM.

So you spend your energy sucking up to your rich husband? Oh that's laudable.

Yes. Life seems very black and white to you. You sound very unhappy.

I'm doing something similar. High Five, Mrs R!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I say good for you. Any vitriol comes from women who so clearly wish they had the option. Otherwise, why would they try to be so mean? Once a bully, always a bully. Alas, bullies tend to die alone. So be it. Enjoy your years at home

Yes, OP, this is your time. Enjoy it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things seem different when you are older and have less energy. Thank goodness I married a "Rothschild" That was a "choice" as well. 15 years SAHM.

So you spend your energy sucking up to your rich husband? Oh that's laudable.

Yes. Life seems very black and white to you. You sound very unhappy.

I don't understand this post. My husband sucks up to ME.

+1 He just bought me a new car!

I'm another rich SAHM and my husband just bought me a new car too (loaded Mercedes SUV for cash) and guess what? He's handsome, smart, an awesome father, the same age and we suck up to each other! Your turn, Ms "that's laudable".

[Anonymous]

I'm another rich SAHM and my husband just bought me a new car too (loaded Mercedes SUV for cash) and guess what? He's handsome, smart, an awesome father, the same age and we suck up to each other! Your turn, Ms "that's laudable".

I am a stay-at-home wife/mom and have been for 23 years. My husband doesn't buy me anything because the money is ours together. That's what it means to be married. There is no "his money". It's all our money. I just got a new car as well. It's not a "loaded Mercedes". But it's a pretty cute mini-van. We didn't pay cash. We don't have that kind of money. But we do have really good credit, so we were able to finance it at 0%.

I don't think you have to be obnoxious to justify being a stay-at-home mother. I think most women are more like me. I am grateful that my husband has a great job with great benefits. I am thankful that we agree on the way we want to live. I would hate to feel like I was bought. I would hate to feel like I was spending someone else's money.

I am very glad that I married a man who values my role in our home. He calls me "the heart" of our home. I'm glad he sees my role as full-time homemaker, wife, and mother as important. And I'm glad he sees me as completely irreplaceable: No maid - No nanny - No cook - No daycare could ever do what I do every day because I do it out of sheer love for my family. I am grateful that my husband sees me as his partner and his equal. I know not all women have the choices that I had. I am so thankful I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is HILARIOUS! Some of you women are just so mean, bitter and judgmental. Look, there's no perfect solution to the WOH/SAH debate. As someone here said a few posts back, "pick your posion." Every choice has a price. Choose as best you can, realizing other women will make different choices than you and that's okay.

Got it? Good. End of discussion.

No, I do not agree. What the "poison" of working full time if you've never had any desire to SAH or work PT?

Well. There's the whole "poison" of higher risks for heart disease and early death from high stress high demand careers. There's the lack of emotional support that you're available to give to your spouse and children. In short, there are all the things that the 1950's Dads did to their wives and children in terms of lack of quality face time, except now both parents are doing it. There equal and opposite downsides to SAH--but you asked about the downsides of working full-time. I was raised by a full-time 'master of the universe' working Mom AND Dad. And it really sucked.

I was raised by a hard working mom and I really really admired her and got some great values - self sufficiency, resilience, hard work, importance of giving back to society, perseverance etc.