Do you regret staying home with kids?

[Anonymous]

I love being at home. I had a "big job" and don't miss it. Thought I would. I have a great relationshiip with my husband, honesty about assets, etc. and I have my own money (savings, retirement, etc. and I put money into a separate savings account for me). I love being with the kids, the "free time" , I like to cook, work out, see friends, and read great books. Life is good, never perfect, some days are hard as is the case for everyone, but my kids seem to love having me at home and I am happy.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP-- I was where you were a few months ago. I just took the plunge and this is my 2nd week home. Love it! Some things I didn't fully expect but now appreciate very much. My schedule is my own. I feel like I am my own boss for the first time in years. I get to set up the schedule and adjust as needed based on crankiness level. If I have to cancel plans, big deal! I've got the whole week to get X or Y done.

The second thing is that it has reframed my relatinoship with DH. I feel so much happier to support him now that he is supporting me. I know the 50/50 thing works for some but for us it just meant constant battles and resentment. Now, I don't resent the fact that I'm doing more thatn "my share" of the housework. Feels like a huge burden has been lifted. I am so grateful for his supporting my time with my kids. In my case, they are a joy to be around (5 and 3) 85% of the time so it's a lot of fun.

I did exactly what you are planning -- "this is an experiment." So far, so good. Best of luck.

If you can't work part-time. Why not get some "grown up" volunteer work lined up that you can do in the evenings or weekends. Great for feeling more than one dimensional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you to all the people who gave me helpful and constructive feedback.

I'm still trying to decide what to do and it's genuinely hard. Perhaps for other mothers it's an easy decision, or the whining and chaos of a kid-filled house slides right off you, but I am struggling. I love my kids, and 90% of the time it's great to be with them, but when one of them has a temper tantrum I worry about a whole day with a cranky kid, and no escape.

Right now I'm leaning towards trying out SAH for 6 months, as one poster suggested, and continuing to job hunt and network, in case the perfect, flexible job falls into my lap. My ideal would be to work 5-6 hours a day and be with the kids the rest of the time, but those opportunities are few and far between.

Thanks again!

I got the 5-6 hour a day job but I fought many a battle for it. I absolutely love it! Wouldn't give it up-I have the best of both worlds. I have my time, my job-which I love and I have time with my child to spend whateve way we want.

Hint-I work for the largest defense contractor in the world. I'm sure you can figure out the company. I had to convince my boss that I could do my job in less hours by becoming more organized, prioritize priorities-and would never let him down. If I couldn't get it done during those hours-I would turn on my laptop after my child was asleep. He went for it-very tentatively-on a trial basis. Guess what? Not only did I prove him wrong-but they added more responsibility because of lay-offs (and I wasn't chosen because I work smart). And I still work less hours, sometimes in less hours than what I agreed to. I get everything I want-I can work from home, have 2 offices, have no set time in the office, get full benies-but am reachable after I'm home (and I am but it's not significant amount of time). My only concern is that when I finally need more of a challenge-get promoted or change programs-or gasp-companies-would I still have what I have now? I think more companies are becoming family friendly-but it's also the employees responsbility to take action and initiative to encourage companies to embrace new work practices. If that's the work arrangement that you think will make you the happiest-then go for it! I know that Booz, Accenture offer part-time positions.

I'm all for asking for what you want. If you don't get it, move on to the next company/firm and ask. I really do think this is the wave for future employment-either telecommuting (creating more home time), creating better family working hours.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. When you say ask for what you want -- do you think I can ask during a job interview process for a part-time schedule? At what point do you do that? I'm thinking after I've already been offered the job.

Or, do you take a full-time job and then once you've proved yourself (like a year) ask for part time?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

To the PP who is in sales support - can you elaborate on how you got started in this? I am re-entering the salesforce after 13 years in corporate sales, but would love to do p/t sales support instead. I always worked from a home office, so I'm used to self-motivating and targeting numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the PP who is in sales support - can you elaborate on how you got started in this? I am re-entering the salesforce after 13 years in corporate sales, but would love to do p/t sales support instead. I always worked from a home office, so I'm used to self-motivating and targeting numbers.

Sales Support here. Prior to having my child I was in Business Development, but always engaged in the operational aspect of things and knew my product line inside and out. I also was in inside sales prior to Biz Dev. I went back to my old company who is ALWAYS looking for sales support and asked if I could come back as PT inside sales (a VERY easy inside job, not cold calling, but mainly pricing, quotes, and general account management. They were very surprised that I wanted to take a much lower paid role, but I no longer had the drive to chase down deals. I also pitched it as a 1099 job, which works out better for the company and means a higher hourly rate for me. So in a nutshell this is how it worked for me:

-I know the product and customers inside and out. FWIW I work in IT selling into the federal government.
-I kept in contact with my old sales manager who happens to be a working mom with 2 small children who completely trusts me and knows EXACTLY why I want the WFH easy stress free gig.
-I have a good reputation with my old company and got glowing endorsements from the OEM company who's product I used to sell.

You might really want to consider going to past employers/clients and tell them what you are interested in doing. They will be very suprised and would not have even thought that you would want to take such a step down. They are happy to have someone intelligent who knows sales cycle doing the sales support role. Even working part-time I make just as much money or even more than a FT employee of the company would make.

If you don’t mind traditional cold calling (YUCK) then there are a lot of WAH inside sales jobs. I found quite a few at smaller IT companies in the area, but I chose to go back to the product and company I already know.