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Do you regret staying home with kids?
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Anonymous
| I think it really depends on what type of work you did before and if you had advanced (and enjoyed) your career.. I've met SAHMs that hated working and worked in lower levels- so giving that up wasn't too hard to do.. others who worked hard and liked being a career woman- then- it depends on what you did and whether going back at one point is something you want to do or would be too late to do (ie high tech- remaining competitive is if you're active)..i got lucky i think- career woman who overall liked it- (some highs and lows but overall thrived)- took time off (3 years) and then was asked by former employer to come back as p/t consultant working from home-very fortunate.. |
Anonymous
| I am a SAHM and I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. There are moments when I get upset about something or just tired, but I had plenty of those moments when I was working. It can be as fun as you make it. DC has SOOOO much to offer. Many people don't take advantage of that! Free museums, zoo, etc... In fact, I am going to get off of this computer and get ready to take my kids to the zoo! You have to have a good schedule. lots of activities, and playdates, and hopefully a sitter for even 3 or 4 hours a week so you get a break. good luck! |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
Congradulations DCUM posters!!! We have so far successfully ignored snarky ignorant comments, like above maybe we're all maturing? |
Anonymous
It's interestting how you say everyone has ignored it than made a point of calling it ignorant. You can't say were all maturing because you didn't completely ignore it. You couldn't let it go. The point is that staying home only is as hard as people make it. If you give credence and attention to every little whim and tantrum sure it will be a long day. If you dictate the way the household will be run, it will be easier. |
Anonymous
| I think the key to staying at home is finding a group of intelligent, stimulating SAHMs to spend time with. When my kids were younger, I was involved in two playgroups, which was as much for the adults as for the kids. These women remain some of my best friends, ten years later. I also got involved in volunteer work, which could be done either at home or when the kids were in preschool. You can tutor a child, deliver meals through the meals on wheels program, or teach English to recent immigrants. It's really wonderful to do some of these things with your children (i.e., deliver meals, for example). If you have special job-related skills, I am sure there are many non-profit organizations that would love to have your help, and you might make great connections that could help you reenter the job market later on. Once you open your eyes to all the possibilities, it's great! |
Anonymous
Just want to address the whining/fighting issue. I work part-time, and when I get home--especially if I've worked a longer day--my kids tend to fuss and fight. I think in part this is because they have a limited amount of time in which to compete for parental attention, and in part because it's the end of the day, so they're tired, hungry, gearing up to fight bedtime, etc. On weekends or when I spend the whole day with them, there still is fighting and whining, but it is a much smaller proportion of the time that we're together. So in that sense, staying at home may not be as difficult as it now seems. |
Anonymous
I disagree. It takes a special person to stay home. It's definitely not for everyone! I'd be climbing the walls being at home-has nothing to do with tantrums or structure. I love my job-love it love it love it. I love love love my child-so I work 5 hours a day-makes me a better mommy. I enjoy spending time with him-look forward to it. But saying that staying at home is as hard as someone makes it is bullshit. I can't imagine being home all day. If I had had a lower level job-maybe I would have given it up and did some volunteer work during the day. |
Anonymous
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If I had read your post TWO WEEKS ago I would have said that if your salary barely covers childcare, if it were me, I would quit in an instant especially if money is not an issue, and stay with your kids.
I stayed home for the first few years of my DC's life and I loved it. When he went to pre school, I started working again. While I enjoyed working, I really struggled with not spending enough time with my Dc after school. I work in an environment where flexible arrangements are somewhat frowned upon and I really thought my only option was to quit work and SAH. My husband and I discussed it at great length especially because, in my case, I make quite a good salary which has helped, along with my husband's salary, make many things possible for us that would not otherwise have been. In the midst of these discussions my job ended and my immediate reaction was to decide to stay home. However, out of the blue, without even looking, I was offered another job with the same salary but which, after much negotiation, would allow me to leave at 4.30 every day rather than my usual 6 o'clock. After much ummimg and ahhinmg I decided to accept the job. On that SAME DAY, my husband suddenly lost his job that he had held for 12 years. He is in a field which, while very well paying, is very susceptible to changes in the economy and finding another job may take some time. We have a lot of savings would have been good for a while even if I had not accepted the new job. But this way we don’t have to touch our savings. Throughout the time I have been back at work, I have struggled with my decision. Now, I can at last appreciate the advantages of working, especially in the current economic climate. |
Anonymous
I feel the exact same way, OP, which is the main reason I'm quitting a FT, high-salaried job. My advice is try it out for 6 months or so, and see what you think. You can always go back to work if you don't like it. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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I agree that the best part of the day happens between breakfast and dinner. The haste to get out the door or get ready for bed can be stressful and hurried.
I have really loved staying at home with my child. And now that she's entering Pre-K, I'm going to love going back to work. I feel very lucky to have found something that will allow me to be there for her before and after school. Staying at home has its challenges. But honestly, after that first so-hard year (and if you make friends with other moms to keep the brain active), it is the greatest gig. I've been wearing flip-flops all summer, taking afternoon swims with my daughter and her pals, and going on little educational "field trips" around the Mid-Atlantic. Heavenly. |
Anonymous
| I decided to SAH after my first. I can jump back in my profession with ease. I will give you my 2 cents. Plan your day and get a sitter at least once a week, during the day for you time. On days I have nothing to do, kids are driving me crazy and I start resenting staying at home. If I do the fun things around DC, which there are so many and free, or go to the park with my kids, we all have a better day. I would not want to sit around the house without kids, throw a couple of kids in four walls and it sucks!! I joined a gym that had great child care also. I even take one of my friends children with me 3 times a week to give her a break. I go even if I am not going to work out, 2 hours of me time. After that, I am ready for the day. It can seem like groundhog day as one poster stated. I could state all the reasons I chose to sah, but this is not what you wanted to know. If you do not like staying at home, don't do it. I really think a child is better off with a happy person, regardless of who that person is, than a resentful one. good luck in your decision. |
Anonymous
Completely not true. It is definately how hard you make it. For instance if you have not discipline in your household you will find things will be tougher. |
Anonymous
This post made me wish money wasn't an issue for us, because if it wasn't, I would stay home in a hot second. As it is, I work part-time, but I would so love to get to be with DS every day all day. I love my job, but I love hanging out with DS more. |
Anonymous
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And sometimes you can sharpen your business skills staying at home.
Last week, we made a lemonade-and-brownies stand with my son and his friends. When we were all making the signs, I asked how much they want to charge. My son shouted, "Free! We'll give it all away free!" Well, OK. Those kids raked in a huge amount of cash in "tips" from passersby. Hmm, the pay-what-you-want business model. Didn't Radiohead pioneer that? |