People registering for insanely expensive wedding gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to be a naysayer here, but I got married in NYC and $700 IS outrageously expensive. June wedding four years ago. You don't expect people to spend that on your wedding gift. If your extremely rich, extremely close relative wants to spend that on you, he or she will find a way to do it without you flaunting hugely expensive gifts all over a registry. You really want a $700 coffee pot? You make a mental note of it and after your wedding you go buy it yourself with whatever cash gifts you receive. Anything else is horrifically tacky. DH and I did not live together before we were married and had nothing. We registered for a very nice everyday set of china/dishes (much more expensive than anything we could ever afford ourselves but at about $125 a dinner plate, it allowed for a large range of options in the set). We also registered for crystal and flatware. Anyone who wanted to buy anything else could go off the registry. No $700 gifts asked for or needed, thank you. We were just so happy people wanted to be with us.

Personally, I find $125 a plate china to be way more obnoxious than a single high end item.

Just for perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the registry is filled with ONLY $700 items, that's pretty rude. But if there's a wide range of things, and a few really expensive items, no big deal. The most likely explanations are a joke, or the discount, or simply filling the set.

Ditto - a few expensive items are fine. I received gifts in the $700 range at my wedding 10 years age (granted it was several items, not one). That's fine and not at all rude or obnoxious. But registeries with all $$$ gifts are rude and obnoxious. A friend's registery recently only had gifts for over $100 (and this included wedding showers items). I am sure the only thing a registery like that results in is a bunch of vases, pictures frames and a bunch of other items the bride did not register for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband thought the little scanner gun that you get when you register was like a videogame, so when we got home and I actually went through what we registered for, there was some weird shit on there. I left some of it on because it made me laugh. I figured if someone was dying to buy a $400 ice cream maker (wtf?) then I'd happily take it.

My friend's husband put oreos on theirs. Apparently a lot of people thought it was funny because they received A LOT of oreos (along with "real" presents).

[Anonymous]

I saw a $350 soup ladle on a wedding registry once. It just made me laugh.

[Anonymous]

The mistake people make is assuming that every item on the registry is a request for you, personally, to buy that item. "A $700 coffee pot? Outrageous! How dare they!" The proper response is something like "Wow, that's expensive, what else is on the list?" If there's nothing on the list you can afford or want to give, buy something nice that you would like to give.

[Anonymous]

We had some very wealthy relatives on one side of the family. Most people wouldn't know we had them. They made it clear they were going to go crazy with gifts. We registered for a few gifts we thought they might take, which they did. Before we did that another friend bought up all of our individual items that were $20, $50, etc. We chose all of those items so that people who wanted to give but were strapped for cash could still use the registry if they wanted. That drove us nuts.

So, you don't know why they registered for $700 AND please please please, if you are going to spend $150, don't do it buying up all the smaller items on the registry - those may be there for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had some very wealthy relatives on one side of the family. Most people wouldn't know we had them. They made it clear they were going to go crazy with gifts. We registered for a few gifts we thought they might take, which they did. Before we did that another friend bought up all of our individual items that were $20, $50, etc. We chose all of those items so that people who wanted to give but were strapped for cash could still use the registry if they wanted. That drove us nuts.

So, you don't know why they registered for $700 AND please please please, if you are going to spend $150, don't do it buying up all the smaller items on the registry - those may be there for a reason.

OP here. This happened to us. We had a wide variety of things on our registry, from $5 peelers to a $350 mixer - the most expensive item. A few relatives bought out the entire swath of low cost items. We had a fairly large wedding, approx 200 guests, so we had many people buying us gifts. A month before the wedding, the registry was entirely cleaned out, and I didn't want to add extra items, because we had already registered for everything we needed and then some!

It actually turned out wonderfully in our favor, as we we lucky enough to get everything we registered for and also go many thoughtful gifts from friends who were unable to purchase something from the registry, so they chose something special for us.

[Anonymous]

We married after living separately and together for several years -- already had dishes, thanks (and already knew we would never use the fancy ones).

So we didn't register, and every gift we received was thoughtful, personal and precious. Yes, some people asked if we were registered. We just said "no."

[Anonymous]

OP, just because you're not going to spend that much doesn't mean nobody is. We had one relative buy us a $700 set of knives and another one bought us probably $600 worth of china. We also had a couple of friends chip in together to buy us our expensive set of pots and pans that we LOVE. Plus, at the end of it we were able to get a discount on the remaining registry items, which is a substantial amount for more expensive items.

If your friends held it against you if you didn't buy an expensive gift or didn't buy from the registry, then they are jerks. But if you hold it against them that they have registered for things out of their price range, then you're the jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had some very wealthy relatives on one side of the family. Most people wouldn't know we had them. They made it clear they were going to go crazy with gifts. We registered for a few gifts we thought they might take, which they did. Before we did that another friend bought up all of our individual items that were $20, $50, etc. We chose all of those items so that people who wanted to give but were strapped for cash could still use the registry if they wanted. That drove us nuts.

So, you don't know why they registered for $700 AND please please please, if you are going to spend $150, don't do it buying up all the smaller items on the registry - those may be there for a reason.

OP here. This happened to us. We had a wide variety of things on our registry, from $5 peelers to a $350 mixer - the most expensive item. A few relatives bought out the entire swath of low cost items. We had a fairly large wedding, approx 200 guests, so we had many people buying us gifts. A month before the wedding, the registry was entirely cleaned out, and I didn't want to add extra items, because we had already registered for everything we needed and then some!

It actually turned out wonderfully in our favor, as we we lucky enough to get everything we registered for and also go many thoughtful gifts from friends who were unable to purchase something from the registry, so they chose something special for us.

I always assumed the smaller gifts on a registry were more for the shower than the wedding anyway.

[Anonymous]

I agree OP. It's tacky. Give me a break people. You all and your need for expensive STUFF you won't even use. OP is not against the happy couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know brides who come from families that expect registries. Nice registries. Giving nice gifts is important to those families. So what?

Agree. I attended the wedding of a grad school friend who came from a moneyed old Richmond family. She registered for Tiffany china. 12 place settings. A single dinner plate (plate only, nothing else) was about $150. Guess what? She got almost all of her china registry fulfilled.

I would have bought the plate or 2. Better that than checks for 500 or more plus that amount on showers. I hate the relatives weddings wher5e we learnh the costs and are expected to fund our costs plus a gift amount plus hotels and travel.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was very surprised at how much some older relatives spent on gifts. So, you need to have a range of items. I am guessing the coffee pot is china - maybe Herend? You have to remember that some people never use china and can;t see a need for it. Others host parties and dinners and use it a lot and a pretty coffee pot will come in handy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband thought the little scanner gun that you get when you register was like a videogame, so when we got home and I actually went through what we registered for, there was some weird shit on there. I left some of it on because it made me laugh. I figured if someone was dying to buy a $400 ice cream maker (wtf?) then I'd happily take it.

My friend's husband put oreos on theirs. Apparently a lot of people thought it was funny because they received A LOT of oreos (along with "real" presents).

That is hilarious! love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was very surprised at how much some older relatives spent on gifts. So, you need to have a range of items. I am guessing the coffee pot is china - maybe Herend? You have to remember that some people never use china and can;t see a need for it. Others host parties and dinners and use it a lot and a pretty coffee pot will come in handy.

The coffee pot is not Herend or Mottahedeh or any classic brand like that. If it was a collectible piece to a family collection, it would have made more sense...maybe.