Personal to mother with scheduled termination

[Anonymous]

Why on earth is everyone attacking the OP of this thread? She has said nothing inappropriate or derogatory to the OP of the other thread. I wouldn't expect anyone to take her up on her offer, but to condemn and criticize her for making what seems to be a heartfelt, no-strings-attached offer of assistance to a woman upset about an unplanned pregnancy is the antithesis of feminism or choice. Attacking every alternative to abortion is NOT pro-choice.

Signed, a pro-choice mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it safe to estimate that there are thousands of people who would happily adopt OP's baby?

Assuming OP and her husband are white, and her baby has no special needs.

Why all the compassion and eagerness to help a blob of cells, but not living, breathing children that are in the foster system? You are telling them that this little embryo the size of a pinhead is more important than them. Disgusting.

the blob of cells won't be a child just because you don't want to. the same way, you can compress a pillow on the face of the suffering children to make them stop suffering and disturbing the society.

easy, huh?

Oh my God, Jeff, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CLOSE THIS.

[Anonymous]

I will also make an offer to help. My husband and I are considering adoption. We now live out of the area, if that would make it easier. If you decide to keep this baby, know that there are so many people who would jump at the chance to adopt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am torn between thinking this is extremely caring and heartfelt...and that it is totally, completely inappropriate.

It is totally, completely inappropriate and laying a guilt trip on the poor soul who has to make this decision. OP has no right to do this.

[Anonymous]

If you all want to help so badly, help the mothers and children out there that need help. Help the overworked single mothers in your community. Help parents struggling to provide for special needs children. Help advocate for friendlier political policies for women and children. If you really want women considering abortion to feel that they would be supported if they chose to continue the pregnancy, then start creating that supportive environment, not by manipulating individual women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has merely provided additional information. I believe her stance is extreme but it is not malicious in any way.

Maybe not "malicious", but I feel truly baffled that she, and apparently others, cannot see how manipulative and self-serving this post is. I don't know why this thread is not being shut down.

Please explain how this is manipulative? Honest question.

She is saying that abortion is not a legitimate choice in response to an unplanned pregnancy (perhaps it's not in the OP's belief system, but it is a legal option and not everyone shares her belief system) but couching it an a way that looks compassionate (I'll adopt your baby!) , but has absolutely zero chance of happening. Does anyone, including the OP of this thread, honestly think she's going to place her baby for adoption with some random person on the internet? Of course not. (How do you explain THAT one to your friends and family? Have some sense, people. An abortion can be kept private. A pregnancy cannot.) So if the original OP is not going to allow someone to adopt her baby (or at least, someone from DCUM for chrissakes), the true purpose of this thread is to make her feel guilty enough to follow through with the pregnancy. (Because there are GOOD mothers out there who would raise the baby, unlike the BAD mother, the OP!) Let's be real, here.

And to the OP of this thread-- if you really, truly think that someone is going to hand over their baby because of a post on the internet, then maybe you aren't manipulative. You are just plain nuts.

Ok, you're pro-abortion, we get it. OP was just addressing some of the pregnant poster's concerns, just as some of the pro-choice posters were addressing her concerns. Just because you don't agree with OP doesn't make her manipulative or nuts.

No, nobody thinks that a woman is going to hand over her baby because of a post on the internet. Put a little thought into it PP...do you think maybe they would meet in person and discuss it and exchange lots of information and do a homestudy and on and on...

[Anonymous]

If you all want to help so badly, help the mothers and children out there that need help. Help the overworked [single] mothers in your community.

You mean like the woman considering termination?


If you really want women considering abortion to feel that they would be supported if they chose to continue the pregnancy, then start creating that supportive environment.

You mean like the OP of this thread has done?


Seriously, why must our genuine offers reach out only to unknown women? Because the woman from the other thread posted her plight on a public messageboard, it is appropriate that women respond to her with their desire to help. If a woman in my community or neighborhood stood up at a community event and revealed the same struggle, I would walk right up to her and offer her any assistance I could. It's hard to discover which woman on the street is currently struggling with a termination decision -- if there were some magic sign on their forehead, I would offer any help I could to each and every one of them.

The cries of "manipulation" truly astound me. Why aren't we allowed to reach out to someone who we KNOW is in need? And, if she feels great about her decision, she wouldn't have reached out looking for advice. Even if she won't contact any of us here, it may inspire her to reach out to others for the help she might need in order to keep her baby. See, you start with the assumption that it is totally private and she is merely going to do what she wants; I start with the assumption that most women would rather NOT abort, but do so because they don't have the community assistance they might need to continue. Just two different perspectives - neither of which are standing in judgement of anyone. What baffles me is that you criticize this personal offer, you criticize the crisis pregnancy shelters for not offering the right kind of help, and you criticize anyone who doesn't stand back with a blank stare and simply say "whatever you choose is fine". All to the shouts of "but there are soooo many children out there who need your help" while glossing over the fact that it is both EXTREMELY difficult to adopt/foster parent in this country, and it is also very different to adopt/foster an older child who may have severe emotional disabilities. Yet, many of us still attempt to do just that, because we believe in helping women and children in any way we are able.

[Anonymous]

I bet every one of these women arguing for OP to give up her career and have this baby is a SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I bet every one of these women arguing for OP to give up her career and have this baby is a SAHM

Ummm...no. Why even go there?

[Anonymous]

As the wife of a man who found out in adulthood that his mother chose to terminate his little brother or sister when he was 3, I have seen first-hand the ramifications of both sides of this argument. I totally understand and support the reasons that my MIL chose to terminate, which were largely career-centered.

However, I also very much identify with the reasons that my husband now is adamant that our DD has at least once sibling so that she can have the little brother or sister that he never got. He had always wanted to be a big brother growing up, and finding out that his mom "took that chance away from him" has really affected him and their relationship. Just something to think about...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it safe to estimate that there are thousands of people who would happily adopt OP's baby?

Assuming OP and her husband are white, and her baby has no special needs.

Why all the compassion and eagerness to help a blob of cells, but not living, breathing children that are in the foster system? You are telling them that this little embryo the size of a pinhead is more important than them. Disgusting.

the blob of cells won't be a child just because you don't want to. the same way, you can compress a pillow on the face of the suffering children to make them stop suffering and disturbing the society.

easy, huh?

No, because a blob of cells is not the same as an already-born suffering child. That's my point. You believe they are equal. I do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the wife of a man who found out in adulthood that his mother chose to terminate his little brother or sister when he was 3, I have seen first-hand the ramifications of both sides of this argument. I totally understand and support the reasons that my MIL chose to terminate, which were largely career-centered.

However, I also very much identify with the reasons that my husband now is adamant that our DD has at least once sibling so that she can have the little brother or sister that he never got. He had always wanted to be a big brother growing up, and finding out that his mom "took that chance away from him" has really affected him and their relationship. Just something to think about...

Not universal. My mother terminated the pregnancy she had after I was born, and it did not affect my relationship with my mother one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it safe to estimate that there are thousands of people who would happily adopt OP's baby?

Assuming OP and her husband are white, and her baby has no special needs.

Why all the compassion and eagerness to help a blob of cells, but not living, breathing children that are in the foster system? You are telling them that this little embryo the size of a pinhead is more important than them. Disgusting.

the blob of cells won't be a child just because you don't want to. the same way, you can compress a pillow on the face of the suffering children to make them stop suffering and disturbing the society.

easy, huh?

No, because a blob of cells is not the same as an already-born suffering child. That's my point. You believe they are equal. I do not.

Oh, and by your logic, by failing to get pregnant this month, one egg will be flushed out of my body and will not become a child simply because I don't want it to be a child. If that's the same to you as suffocating a child (and you seem to think it is) then you frighten me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the wife of a man who found out in adulthood that his mother chose to terminate his little brother or sister when he was 3, I have seen first-hand the ramifications of both sides of this argument. I totally understand and support the reasons that my MIL chose to terminate, which were largely career-centered.

However, I also very much identify with the reasons that my husband now is adamant that our DD has at least once sibling so that she can have the little brother or sister that he never got. He had always wanted to be a big brother growing up, and finding out that his mom "took that chance away from him" has really affected him and their relationship. Just something to think about...

Either you are stretching here or your dh is milking it, PP. His mother's decision not to have more children is what "took that chance away from him", regardless of whether or not she had another pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it safe to estimate that there are thousands of people who would happily adopt OP's baby?

Assuming OP and her husband are white, and her baby has no special needs.

Why all the compassion and eagerness to help a blob of cells, but not living, breathing children that are in the foster system? You are telling them that this little embryo the size of a pinhead is more important than them. Disgusting.

the blob of cells won't be a child just because you don't want to. the same way, you can compress a pillow on the face of the suffering children to make them stop suffering and disturbing the society.

easy, huh?

No, because a blob of cells is not the same as an already-born suffering child. That's my point. You believe they are equal. I do not.

And who is right, who is wrong? Just in case let's kill them all.