Personal to mother with scheduled termination

[Anonymous]

Who knows maybe this child could have been a steve jobs, did you know that steve jobs was adopted under the same circumstances?

“I wanted to meet [her] mostly to see if she was OK and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion,” he said. “She was 23 and she went through a lot to have me.”

Eventually Jobs was able to find and reunite with his birth mother, Joanne Schieble. He said that after they met she would often burst into tears and apologize for giving him up for adoption.

“Don’t worry,” Jobs would respond, according to Isaacson. “I had a great childhood. I turned out OK.”

[Anonymous]

I want to speak up to counter the OPs misguided and uninformed statements about how ending this pregnancy will impact her marriage and extended family. The OP has never actually ended a pregnancy and she is just making stuff up. My husband and I have had two abortions, one because we were young and in school and one late-term for medical reasons last year. I don't regret either one. Although having an abortion is difficult emotionally, it is no more difficult than a miscarriage or childbirth (and yes I have had these too). My husband and I now have a healthy newborn who was planned and we are in good financial and emotional health. Our baby is doing great and our marriage is strong.
.

OK, you lost me at the part about how abortion is no more difficult emotionally than childbirth. Really? Emotionally-speaking, childbirth is a JOYOUS occasion for many (most?) women.

You say the OP is misguided, but maybe you are too? Yes, you speak from experience that the OP lacks (though she did apparently have an unplanned pregnancy), but while YOU may have no regrets about your abortions, do you think that no one else does or would? Do you KNOW that the OP of the other thread won't regret having an abortion? I don't think any of us can say whether she will or won't. Many women don't regret it, like you don't, but there are also MANY women who deeply regret having abortions and live with that pain every day - women whose abortions DO impact their marriages, living children, and extended families, as OP mentioned. I think your post is a little callous to suggest that won't happen and that OP is "just making stuff up."

[Anonymous]

When I posted last night, I never imagined in my wildest dreams the kind of responses I have seen. I'm so taken aback.

As I said, I had initiated the certification process to become a foster parent, but my pregnancy disrupted that. I couldn't stop thinking about the OP's concerns, and I saw other posters on the other thread make similar comments and offers as mine, so I wanted to to add my offers to theirs. No one had made negative remarks about the other offers for assistance, and that was not the reason the thread was ended.

When I faced my unplanned pregnancy, I was terrified and overwhelmed. The love of my family and the generosity of strangers made what looked like an impossible situation manageable. The fact that my daughter is alive today has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the help I received from other people.

On top of all that, one of my closest friends unexpectedly became a nanny for a very young couple who had an unplanned pregnancy while still in school. She had just suffered several miscarriages, and offered to take care of their child until they were on their feet. Another friend left her extremely high-powered legal career on a dime because a young woman chose her to adopt their son. And other moms in my group have adopted special needs kids lately.

All that came together last night, and I felt compelled to make a sincere offer of help, in any way, including child care of any duration. I tried to make it clear that my concern was for HER needs primarily, because she will be the one left after the abortion, and she deserves the kind of meaningful choice she did not seem to think she had.

That's all. Our paths need never cross, but she is a fellow mother, and I wish I could help her. Yes, the world is full of people who need help, and I will do what I can anytime the opportunity arises...like last night.

In honor of my daughter's blessed existence, I needed to try to pay it forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who are so eager to adopt unplanned babies, here is the website for the District's child and family services agency:

http://cfsa.dc.gov/DC/CFSA

Hundreds of babies, kids, and teens need loving families. If your offers are sincere and not just hollow anti-abortion posturing, I hope you'll think seriously about calling today.

Yes, they do. But not just any family. A family that can deal with emotional scarred children.

My sister fostered newborn twins for 6 months - they were taken away from meth addicted mom. It was a very difficult first few months as the kids got over their own addiction and struggled to gain weight and meet basic milestones. Mom "cleaned" up and got the twins back, and last we knew, they lived in squallor. This was horrible for my sister to go through.

Next she fostered a toddler. By 18 months, this little girl had been neglected so much that she became "failure to bond". My sister adopted her and has tried very hard to give her as much love and affection as possible, but this girl is now 10 and reminds me of Damien.

Next my sister was given the opportunity to foster (and later adopt) the half-sister of the above girl, when she was about 9 months old (same bio-dad, different teenage mom). This little girl is your normal every day girl (now 7). But getting a child so young and not in need of special care is the exception.

[Anonymous]

OP, just go away. It's not your business and this was wildly inappropriate, as other PPs have said. Just stop. You are not actually helping anyone but yourself--now you can feel like you offered, right, and and tried to put a stop to something you don't agree with, right, so you can continue to feel morally superior, right? The OP of the other thread doesn't need your advice or sympathy or hollow offers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I posted last night, I never imagined in my wildest dreams the kind of responses I have seen. I'm so taken aback.

As I said, I had initiated the certification process to become a foster parent, but my pregnancy disrupted that. I couldn't stop thinking about the OP's concerns, and I saw other posters on the other thread make similar comments and offers as mine, so I wanted to to add my offers to theirs. No one had made negative remarks about the other offers for assistance, and that was not the reason the thread was ended.

When I faced my unplanned pregnancy, I was terrified and overwhelmed. The love of my family and the generosity of strangers made what looked like an impossible situation manageable. The fact that my daughter is alive today has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the help I received from other people.

On top of all that, one of my closest friends unexpectedly became a nanny for a very young couple who had an unplanned pregnancy while still in school. She had just suffered several miscarriages, and offered to take care of their child until they were on their feet. Another friend left her extremely high-powered legal career on a dime because a young woman chose her to adopt their son. And other moms in my group have adopted special needs kids lately.

All that came together last night, and I felt compelled to make a sincere offer of help, in any way, including child care of any duration. I tried to make it clear that my concern was for HER needs primarily, because she will be the one left after the abortion, and she deserves the kind of meaningful choice she did not seem to think she had.

That's all. Our paths need never cross, but she is a fellow mother, and I wish I could help her. Yes, the world is full of people who need help, and I will do what I can anytime the opportunity arises...like last night.

In honor of my daughter's blessed existence, I needed to try to pay it forward.

OP, I applaud you on your offer. I would like to do the same too. I have just talked to DH last night, if we can help save an innocent life, why not? This is a life and death situation, I am pro choice and I choose life.

[Anonymous]

OP has merely provided additional information. I believe her stance is extreme but it is not malicious in any way.

[Anonymous]

The OP of the original thread has made it perfectly clear that she does not want any more offers of "help" and advice. I don't know why this is so hard to comprehend.

[Anonymous]

"it's free speech"

Jesus God, for a messageboard with the highest number of lawyers per capita of anywhere else on the internet, you would think people would FINALLY understand the concept of free speech...

CLIFF NOTES VERSION: Free speech only applies when it's the GOVERNMENT trying to make you stop talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has merely provided additional information. I believe her stance is extreme but it is not malicious in any way.

Maybe not "malicious", but I feel truly baffled that she, and apparently others, cannot see how manipulative and self-serving this post is. I don't know why this thread is not being shut down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP of the original thread has made it perfectly clear that she does not want any more offers of "help" and advice. I don't know why this is so hard to comprehend.

Then she doesn't even have to open this thread.


OP, I think this was a nice idea.

- Pro-choice woman married to Pro-life husband with Pro-life In-laws

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has merely provided additional information. I believe her stance is extreme but it is not malicious in any way.

Maybe not "malicious", but I feel truly baffled that she, and apparently others, cannot see how manipulative and self-serving this post is. I don't know why this thread is not being shut down.

Please explain how this is manipulative? Honest question.

[Anonymous]

I posted in Website Feedback yesterday asking why the other thread was shut down juts because the OP had "gotten all the advice she needed." Perhaps others wanted to share their stories.

That said, it's very odd to me that this one's still up. I don't think either should be closed, but that one and not this one? With its references to 'blobs of cells' etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has merely provided additional information. I believe her stance is extreme but it is not malicious in any way.

Maybe not "malicious", but I feel truly baffled that she, and apparently others, cannot see how manipulative and self-serving this post is. I don't know why this thread is not being shut down.

Please explain how this is manipulative? Honest question.

She is saying that abortion is not a legitimate choice in response to an unplanned pregnancy (perhaps it's not in the OP's belief system, but it is a legal option and not everyone shares her belief system) but couching it an a way that looks compassionate (I'll adopt your baby!) , but has absolutely zero chance of happening. Does anyone, including the OP of this thread, honestly think she's going to place her baby for adoption with some random person on the internet? Of course not. (How do you explain THAT one to your friends and family? Have some sense, people. An abortion can be kept private. A pregnancy cannot.) So if the original OP is not going to allow someone to adopt her baby (or at least, someone from DCUM for chrissakes), the true purpose of this thread is to make her feel guilty enough to follow through with the pregnancy. (Because there are GOOD mothers out there who would raise the baby, unlike the BAD mother, the OP!) Let's be real, here.

And to the OP of this thread-- if you really, truly think that someone is going to hand over their baby because of a post on the internet, then maybe you aren't manipulative. You are just plain nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it safe to estimate that there are thousands of people who would happily adopt OP's baby?

Assuming OP and her husband are white, and her baby has no special needs.

Why all the compassion and eagerness to help a blob of cells, but not living, breathing children that are in the foster system? You are telling them that this little embryo the size of a pinhead is more important than them. Disgusting.

the blob of cells won't be a child just because you don't want to. the same way, you can compress a pillow on the face of the suffering children to make them stop suffering and disturbing the society.

easy, huh?