Personal to mother with scheduled termination

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12/13/2011 20:08

Subject: Personal to mother with scheduled termination

Anonymous

I know your thread was shut down due to going off-topic, but I hope this post is allowed to stay for a bit, because I have not been able to get your thread out of my mind, and I needed to share my thoughts with you. Don't worry, I have nothing mean to say at all, and you can stop reading right here if you have all the information you need to make a decision. But it is not too often that I get so thoughtful about a thread on DCUM, so here goes:

I noticed one comment you made about your mother, something about her being pro-life, very much so, which seemed to bother you. Of course, you are a complete stranger to me, and I don't know anything about your relationship with your mother except for that one comment, but what really struck me was that the pregnancy within you right now has meaning to other people besides you and your husband. There is a grandmother, perhaps a grandfather? Another set of grandparents? A big sibling, too. Any aunts and uncles? Now, maybe none of them know about the pregnancy yet. Maybe you intend to keep it a secret forever. But that is hard to do, and even if you are successful, that is a heavy burden you will carry the rest of your life. Even though you are the one who gets to make the decision, you cannot control how loved ones react to the decision, and you cannot ask them not to feel a sense of loss of someone who would have been an intimate part of their lives.

And your husband...this is a heavy thing to carry between you. The act that created this new life was an act of love between the two of you. Negating the life that resulted does not turn back time to before it was created. This pregnancy will never be undone--it will be ended, either by a birth or a surgical procedure. And that will be between you, as parents, as husband and wife, always.

Please don't misunderstand...I'm just another anonymous poster here. I won't know what you do, or don't do. But you will know, and I am writing out of concern for you. If you end this little life, s/he will never know what s/he missed--s/he'll just be gone. But you will still be here, and you will think about this for the rest of your life, one way or another.

I just have one last thing to say, and it was already offered on the other thread, but I really feel convicted to make the same, totally sincere offer. If you can handle a pregnancy right now, but not a baby, I would gladly, unreservedly, adopt your child. If you changed your mind at the last minute, I would be completely supportive. If you wanted me to care for your child for free for a few months, or a couple years, until you were in a better place financially or in your marriage, I would do so gladly. I am pregnant myself right now, and I have a cozy home and a supportive husband and older children who love babies. I would do anything I could to help you through this time.

As I am typing this, my unplanned pregnancy is doing her homework beside me. That is why I am writing to you tonight. If it were not for the kindness of my family and some total strangers, I would not have her next to me. The least I can do is make this offer to you tonight.

Peace be with you.