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How many partners did you have before you married?
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Anonymous
Hummm. . .so if you did have sex with more people than you don't have respect for yourself? I don't buy this. and the "had a lot of fun without taking your clothes off. . ." spare me. I am with the others. If some people choose to have fun taking their clothes off, what is the big deal? Why so sanctimonous and judgemental? Because she was asked to defend herself? |
Anonymous
Interestingly, the ones who are getting (negative) comments made about them are the lower number folks. |
Anonymous
Because she was asked to defend herself? No she wasn't. Nobody criticized or judged her. |
Anonymous
Four months seems like a while in terms of having sex. I'm one of the "only 1 before my DH" posters and I waited 2 1/2 - 3 months with both and that seemed like a while to me. |
Anonymous
|
Probably 8 and I met my DH when I was 20.
I'm glad I ho'd it around before I met him. I know what I'm not missing and I know what I'm getting. There is a HUGE difference between various lovers. I have friends who "waited" and they have confessed that they are curious about other men. I have another friend who married young as a virgin and is now getting divorced and she is screwing around now like a dog in heat. Its too bad b/c she has kids and the guys "sneak" in at night. This behavior is just ridiculas at her age, but she never got it out of her system, so now in her late 30s, she's reliving her youth. All a guy has to do is tell her she is pretty and her undies are around her ankles. |
Anonymous
| I honestly do not remember (am 37). I tried to count before I wrote this post and got to 9. It think I told my DH 13 (not sure where I got that number), he did not care. He never told me his number, but I suspect that he has had less than I think. |
Anonymous
| 13 for me, and married by husband at 30. His number is 4. He was a serial monogamist and married once before. |
Anonymous
| DH is #5, we met when I was 21... |
Anonymous
|
Hmmm. I had 15 if you are only counting intercourse, probably about twice that if you count "everything but." (or maybe not quite that many, it's hard to remember now). DH only had 5 before me -- he is a shyer sort. I was 28 when I met him. I guess I was kind of a ho relative to other women on this list, but perhaps those with larger numbers are not responding, so I thought I'd chime in so the sample doesn't get too skewed.
FWIW, I don't think it's better or worse to have a lower or higher number. That's just your past. We all had the experiences we had in part because of our attitudes about sex and partly because of the circumstances we were in at the time we had them. Some people in both categories have regrets or wish they had done things differently. |
Anonymous
I think the huge difference among lovers is how you feel about that lover. That's been my experience. I had 8 partners before DH and they were all crap -- I think mostly because I wasn't really that into them (one included my ex-husband!). I never really enjoyed sex until I met DH at 30! Thank God I didn't have to wait til I was 50! And now with DH I'm like OOOHHH, that's what the fuss is all about. 
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Anonymous
| OP here. OK I will fess up. It's around 20 lovers over a 12 year period. The majority in college. Some were relationships, some just fooling around, some were stupid mistakes. Regret some, but those regrets only reassure me now that I don't need anyone but DH. |
Anonymous
| Keep in mind, the people who answer this thread probably have something to be proud of. The ones who saty out of it want their privacy. This is not a cross section. |
Anonymous
privacy?? |
Anonymous
This might be true if you were having a conversation with someone, but not on an anonymous message board! |
Anonymous
| DH is the only one and I am the only one he's been with. We met at 18 and got married at 24. Also, we did everything else, but intercourse until our wedding night. |