Being bullied by the new boss at work. How do you cope?

[Anonymous]

This is not bullying - when new bosses come in all kinds of changes happen and that could include changing flex hours - especially if that was not a company wide policy and instead a personal arrangement between you and the old boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HR here. Supervisors need to focus on productivity and results. I don't care what hours you keep, as long as your job is done, and done well.

If we are interested in capitalizing on the strengths that women, mothers, and parents can bring to our workplaces, we need to accept that flexibility is an ever increasing tool for maintaining a loyal and productive workforce.

If you don't want OP and her flexible schedule, an organization like mine will take her.

I like you.

[Anonymous]

What does this have to do with the fact OP seems to be taking advantage? Huge difference here!

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP - haven't gotten online in two days, but wow!

I just posted a general discripition of my situation at work without going into too much details, but that question has obviously become a debate among mothers on this list, some of whom I believe are employer's lawyers, and business owners. I must say it's quite toxic to see some of these uninvited, baseless judgements, so I will no longer read, or respond on this topic after this.

Thanks for many kind people on this list. I appreciate your understanding!

To be clear, (1) I am not the only one who have had flexible schedule at my firm; (2) I have never taken advantage of my flex time. My one hour work from home does not restrict from 4pm to 5pm. Instead, I am allowed to work any time in the evenings, as long as I fullfill my job, which I do; (3) I have small toddler children who are not able to "take a bus" to get home (as one poster suggested, and I feel very sorry for your kids if you're truly a mother), and that's why I was granted this flex schedule to pick them up.

For those mothers (again, if you're truly a mother at all) who imposed "zero tolerance" policy on flex time at your work places, please check on DC's "Family Responsibility Discrimination" law. Although I don't think those hardcore mothers live in DC; for those mothers who acted like attack machines, stop the smear campaign and get a life. Maybe you should use your brassiness to lobby for all US mothers to get some reasonable flexibilities at work.

Or just put your emotion on loving your kids, instead.

Good night!

[Anonymous]

OP, you're so melodramatic. No matter you think your boss is a bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're so melodramatic. No matter you think your boss is a bully.
[/quote

OP's right. You must be one of these hardcore, attack machanines on this list. Didn't your mother ever teach you: if you don't have anything nice to say...say nothing at all.

[Anonymous]

I still don't get how you are being bullied. We can debate all day about the pros and cons of flextime, but taking away your flextime--which is NOT guaranteed to you by law and does not sound like it is guaranteed to you by company policy--is not bullying. It's just not.

Your remedy is to either persuade your boss to change her mind, or go find a new job.

Signed, Truly A Mother

[Anonymous]

If you kids are 2 and 3, they need to be in daycare setting with hours until 5 or 6.

Look, you screwed yourself over by acting they way you did. You didn't find a reasonable child care solution and really what kind of employee are you when you can't even figure that out? I don't blame your boss for not liking you and probably wondering what else you are not capable of handling.

[Anonymous]

Assuming the OP is correct in the points she makes re her being productive (boss has agreed w/ same, she says), I'm appalled at the tone & narrowmindedness of some of the replies.

I'm a mgr. at a govt agency and we have many people who use telework episodically and regularly and are very productive.

Managers who can't adapt to the reality of this and work life today, and who want to impose the factory model of the 50s-60s, are cretins who undermine productivity and morale.

If your teleworkers are not productive, take away their telework permission. If a teleworker is productive, that's the real measure: work is what you do, now where you are.

[Anonymous]

Hey factory poster. You have no better analogy? Every manager is different. Sometimes if you want to keep your job, you have to suck it up. It's easy. Why do you insist on making it difficult? Do you make everything so difficult? Holy sh*t!

OP, don't make the rest of the women look bad. That is all.

[Anonymous]

Assuming the OP is correct in the points she makes re her being productive (boss has agreed w/ same, she says), I'm appalled at the tone & narrowmindedness of some of the replies.

I'm a mgr. at a govt agency and we have many people who use telework episodically and regularly and are very productive.

Managers who can't adapt to the reality of this and work life today, and who want to impose the factory model of the 50s-60s, are cretins who undermine productivity and morale.

If your teleworkers are not productive, take away their telework permission. If a teleworker is productive, that's the real measure: work is what you do, now where you are.

This. One of the saving graces of the double mega-storm in 2010 was that a pretty solid percentage of government workers were able to telework from home. The infrastructure and all necessary policies were in place. It saved a lot of tax payer dollars.

One of the SES managers at DOL hates telework and refused to allow anyone under him (hundreds and hundreds of people) to do it. He tried to maintain his anti-telework policy even after his superiors issued formal guidance about increasing the number of teleworkers at the agency. He was finally told to suck it up and now most people are allowed to telework 1 day a week.

It is a slow change . . . some will fight it every step of the way. Some people will take advantage and ruin it for others. But over time, this is something we will see more and more of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Assuming the OP is correct in the points she makes re her being productive (boss has agreed w/ same, she says), I'm appalled at the tone & narrowmindedness of some of the replies.

I'm a mgr. at a govt agency and we have many people who use telework episodically and regularly and are very productive.

Managers who can't adapt to the reality of this and work life today, and who want to impose the factory model of the 50s-60s, are cretins who undermine productivity and morale.

If your teleworkers are not productive, take away their telework permission. If a teleworker is productive, that's the real measure: work is what you do, now where you are.

This. One of the saving graces of the double mega-storm in 2010 was that a pretty solid percentage of government workers were able to telework from home. The infrastructure and all necessary policies were in place. It saved a lot of tax payer dollars.

One of the SES managers at DOL hates telework and refused to allow anyone under him (hundreds and hundreds of people) to do it. He tried to maintain his anti-telework policy even after his superiors issued formal guidance about increasing the number of teleworkers at the agency. He was finally told to suck it up and now most people are allowed to telework 1 day a week.

It is a slow change . . . some will fight it every step of the way. Some people will take advantage and ruin it for others. But over time, this is something we will see more and more of.

Taking away telework might be bad policy, it might be short-sighted, but it's not bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming the OP is correct in the points she makes re her being productive (boss has agreed w/ same, she says), I'm appalled at the tone & narrowmindedness of some of the replies.

I'm a mgr. at a govt agency and we have many people who use telework episodically and regularly and are very productive.

Managers who can't adapt to the reality of this and work life today, and who want to impose the factory model of the 50s-60s, are cretins who undermine productivity and morale.

If your teleworkers are not productive, take away their telework permission. If a teleworker is productive, that's the real measure: work is what you do, now where you are.

We don't have flexiibilty in our workplace. We just pay well. If you're willing to be paid poorly, you can seek flexibility. If you're making $150,000, the employee is the one who needs to be flexible. Why in the world didn't OP just pay for more childcare to cover her schedule (?)