Being bullied by the new boss at work. How do you cope?

[Anonymous]

I feel so heavy hearted. I'm a mother of two school aged toddlers. I was granted and have had flexible schedule at work for almost four years. I accomplish and deliver the results. But a new female boss came on board. She is never married, with no children, but is so resentful about my flexibility. She just told me recently that I need to give her a deadline to be at work full day. She needs to take my flex away because it affects company morale, that people sees me work less in the office.

Have any you ever encountered such situation? How do you cope?

Sadie

[Anonymous]

Time to find a new job. If you get another offer you can take it to the woman and offer to stay if your flexibility is maintained, but the chances are she has already taken against you and is prepared for you to leave.

[Anonymous]

DOES it affect company morale? Who is demoralized by your schedule, exactly? Can you demonstrate to her how your performance has not faltered with this schedule? Do you have past performance reviews?

What sort of schedule do you work? What type of company/hierarchy/structure?

I'd like to kick her in the shins, but that's just me.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. People like that suck. I had two bosses at one job: one was a great boss who was also a single parent like me, and he was really flexible about my hours. My other boss was getting close to retirement and had never married or had children, and he was really hard on me about my schedule -- even though he regularly fibbed on his own time sheets (which I knew because I was in charge of them; he racked up tens of thousands of dollars in pay for hours he never worked over the years). Who knows what motivates people to be like that but I imagine it must be deeply felt disappointments and resentments.

[Anonymous]

How big is your company? Can you talk to HR about it? Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Two possibilities - she is just being a bitch or it really has affected morale and your old boss just choose not to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

I had a boss like that. I had been at the org for 4 years when she became my supervisor. I had stayed that long because it offered great flexibility (I have three school aged kids), and I was proud of my work product. But she made my life a living hell. I quit. Best decision I made all year.

[Anonymous]

I was like you, with one toddler, a flexible schedule and a new b*tch of a boss. Single, no kids, and just a nightmare. She made my life hell and more. Unfortunately, I had to quit. I was just to distraught most of the time working under this bully. Often, that is the only thing you can do in the face of a bully. Since I left, she has driven out most of the staff. No one at the organization likes her, but the management won't get rid of her because it makes them look bad since they hired her initially. I am still appalled when I read stories of bullies like this.

My heart bleeds for you my dear.

[Anonymous]

Is this is a government agency? Bullies run rampant in the government because it is so hard to get rid of them.

[Anonymous]

You have to leave. What line of work are you in?

[Anonymous]

Is it possible there might be other factors driving your new boss’s stated concern about your schedule? Is she new to the organization, new to your division, etc.? Are there personality conflicts she’s experiencing with other people in your workplace, etc., etc.? There may be something else going on that you’re not aware of and that has nothing to do with you. If so, you may be able to find a way to work with the situation. Maybe not, but it’s worth trying. Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

[Anonymous]

This sucks - I'm so sorry. Flexibility is so impOrtant when you have are a mother!

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone who have written to me!! The real story is even worse - she just rewrote my job description with expanded responsibilities, at no pay; and at the same time, is imposing deadline to take my flex schedule away. I did go to HR, and surprise, HR is on her side. We have a whole bunch of other women (work at different department) in my organization that have various sort of flex schedule, like work from home one day per week, or permitted to come in late and leave early when their supervisor is out of town, etc. But at this point, I'm like the bulls eye for her. My past performance review had been great, until she came this year. She made some negative comments on my work hours, but yet, she acknowledged in the review that the quality and reliability of my work has been great.

My organization is a BIG non-profit firm, has 8 hour work day, and my flex schedule is 9:00am-4pm, work through lunch hour, and one hour work from home. Now my new boss is demanding that I must be physically in the office for the entire 8 hours. No more one hour work from home (which allows me to pick up my kids and take them home).

Sure I see that she's pushing me out. But I hate to think that quitting is the only option, while she's clearly discriminating me. Our society is still encouraged to punish the venebility of a premier care giver. It really suck...

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, but what you're describing is not bullying.

Further, it doesn't sound like she is resentful of your flexibility, or that her being single or without children has anything to do with your situation.

So, dial back the drama.

You had a perk. Your new boss, for whatever reason, decided to curb that perk. Apparently, she can. Instead of putting on the victim cape, try making a depersonalized case for why the former flexibility is worth it to your employer. Cite your successes. Leave out the part where they should allow you flex time because it is good for you or your kids. If you are a valuable employee, and you bring it, she should give you an audience. Otherwise, try HR.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have to agree with pps. You have had it really good for a really long time. Accept it as good luck - which does not last forever. And no, you will probably not be so lucky next time. I have seen this, and I have seen pt employees let go when the new people come in. In the cases I have seen it was absolutely bad for morale because the employee that was given perks became rather cocky, took the perks for granted and became quite toxic. In more than one case, such employee could not get along with other employees. There is no discrimination. Only bad attitude. Chances are, your new boss has seen this before also. I am a mother and a boss, BTW.