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Being bullied by the new boss at work. How do you cope?
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Anonymous
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I can't believe the attitude of the women here regarding this as a "perk".
This country is so fucked up about women working it is depressing. The most sickening part of it is how women like the previous posters seek to keep other women down and attack anything which allows talented people to remain in the workforce while at the same time maintaining a family life. |
Anonymous
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The entitled women are looking at work, or worse their job as a right. This is ridiculous. Employers see those asking for time off in this economy as someone who can be easily replaced. Instead of the unproductive and/or entitled asking for more, more, more or what can you do for me?, the work force is very different these days. Have you not noticed? As women, we have to show we are willing and able to handle the responsibilities that the work requires. Getting into and staying in a job requires effort. Perks are just that, perks.
I have worked with some that are so entitled, it did lower morale and made things difficult on everyone. Fellow employees do see this as a problem. Consequently, employers see it as a problem. It could be as simple as one person making it impossible for everyone, ruining chances for other women to have the flexibility that most of us as moms need. But it is not up to fellow employees to tell you you are blowing it for everyone. That is why women who take advantage lose their jobs. To no ones surprise, really. You think you are setting an example for others, but really you are ruining it for others when you act entitled. OP, if you are not doing this, then I am sorry you are going through this. But every case I have seen has been the former. |
Anonymous
| 00:34 did you read OPs post where she describes her flexibility? She works 1 hour from home! She is not a factory conveyor worker, so not sure why she should not be able to work that hour from home, and why other employees should not also benefit from similar flexibility. This is not year 1910. Fellow employees should also have this same flexibility. Signed... another employee with too many work hours to have any flexibility |
Anonymous
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I wish people would stop looking to the child/childless status of the boss as a reason for why the person accepts or does not accept family related issues.
My boss is childless. One of the least fuzzy people I have ever met (which works for me!). She is really fantastic about flexibility and leave since she trusts us that the work will be done. A good boss looks at outcomes. I have a lot of flexibility, but flexibility doesn't mean I get to say "sorry, gotta go" whenever I want. As for the OP, we have no idea if her flexibility is a problem or not. She may be in an office where things get very busy at the end of the day and it really does affect other people when she isn't there and is inaccessible. It may be that the other people needing flexibility just get up earlier. Finally, this is NOT bullying. This is just a new boss changing an old policy. I am tired of people screaming "bullying" every time something doesn't go their way. |
Anonymous
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When you are hard on someone because you want them to quit, then yes, that is bullying. OP said she was a good employee and that her flexibility does not make her less productive -- which her new boss even mentioned in her review.
We have to be able to live. This is not 1910, as a PP said, when we should work in conditions which make us and our children miserable just to survive. My hard-ass boss gamed the system in a disgraceful way. Disgraceful. |
Anonymous
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Well after the explanation - yes I see why the boss is no longer allowing it. You were leaving early to pick up your kids which means you weren't going home to do an hour's worth of work but were picking up the kids and doing the afterschool activities.
Working from home is just supposed to be that - you work. Its not meant as an excuse for you not to have to make after school arrangements for your kids. Lots of moms with kids would like to do this -myself included - but its not feasible and if I did it, would put a burden on my co-workers and clients. Meetings would have to be scheduled around me departure as well as deadlines. I think more of your co-workers were resentful than you may realize and they finally saw the opportunity to get things changed... |
Anonymous
I'll take "bullying" over "harassment", no? I dislike harassment! |
Anonymous
I agree with this. Odds are, you either were not actually working that 1 hour at home, or were working it, but so much later after arriving home and dealing with the kids that it wasn't useful for the employer. Working from home is not a substitute for childcare. |
Anonymous
I hardly think OP is objective. |
Anonymous
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OP - I agree with you, and I do think this is bullying. Changing your previously agreed upon flexible schedule and insisting on 8 hours of face time despite your positive reviews and work product is an effort to drive you out. This is not about entitlement, or getting away with an easier job, that is just ridiculous. As PPs have noted, this is not 1910, and there are very few professional jobs that require you to be physically present in the office to work. Frankly, the flex thing has its bad points too - I know that I never felt like I was off the clock, and that I would frequently work after putting the kids in bed. But that is a small price to pay to maximize your productivity without having to use leave time for every pediatrician appt, or school meeting, or for when your kid is sick. Does your new boss really want an office full of clock watchers?
It really sounds like she wants you out, especially if she is increasing your work load without compensation. For whatever reason, you've been handed a bum deal. You can either stay until you are fired (and hopefully then collect unemployment for a while until you find another job), or start looking now and get out. Sorry. It sucks. |
Anonymous
| It's bullying. Plain and simple. And an effort to pick on someone and drive them out. It's disgusting.. |
Anonymous
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11:14 - YES.
It is not bullying. Though often, it is bullies that recognize this or at least claim this first. Perhaps OP is accustomed to getting her own way and now does not like it when she doesn't? OP, it's a new place. Get over it or find a new job. It very much sounds like you were taking advantage. Those are the first out the door where most of us work. Are you forgetting how nice it is to simply have a job these days? You have to be so particular? Really? Interesting. |
Anonymous
| OP, were you really working this 1 hour from home in the evenings? Because I'm sure lots of people would just send an email or two, if even, and call it a day. I would negotiate and ask if you could work a full day from home instead. It's much easier to hold someone accountable when they're working all day. My old boss used to ask us for a list of things we would be working on each day we worked from home. Don't have to do that anymore, but I'd prefer that than not being able to work from home. |
Anonymous
How convenient that you ignored the second half of the sentence: "which her new boss even mentioned in her review." |
Anonymous
| Either OP was not (in reality or just as viewed by others) as productive or available, OR her boss is a b*tch. We'll never know. I have a super flexible work from home schedule, including taking off from 4-8pm to be with my kids, but I still work very long hours and produce a lot (work from 7-4pm then 8-10pm, plus 10 hours over the weekend). If someone tried to take that away from me, I'd tried to find another job. My employer, however, is very satisfied with this arrangement because frankly they get a ton out of me. |