Are you Allowing your Senior go to Beach Week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to let your kids grow up and make their ownistakes to learn from. You cannot be a helicopter mom when they are off at college eventhough I'm sure many if you will try to. You will just push your kids away. Life us life and it's hard... You have to learn sometime.

I was far from a helicopter mom. Setting reasonable limits and allowing freedom in approprpiate increments is being a parent. Too many parents today are trying to be buddies. Of course, it's easier to just say, "Go have unchaperoned fun for a week." FWIW, my daughter went to a large university 8 hours away from our home, so we weren't "helicoptering" around the campus!

[Anonymous]

Why do these kids have so much pocket change? I am in my late 40's. I come from an affluent community.

We had beach DAY.

[Anonymous]

This response sounds very sensible to me and I'm from Ohio (not the most exciting place in the universe). I never went to beach week -- nor did anyone I grew up with. We waited until we were adults and could pay our own way. We also had jobs. I agree with NYC that this beach week thing must be some weird DC ritual. I think it is an invitation to screw up. Kids are leaving for college in a few months. They'll have plenty of time to explore life. Like NYC -- we all had job to go to in the summer to earn money for school. Maybe DC kids are more coddled than others.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in NYC. I find this rite of passage so peculiar. You finish HS and you get a week at the beach with your friends to be drunk, screw around and experiment with drugs? As if you'll never see your friends again?

When we finished HS, a bunch of us had summer jobs to start and one last special summer vacation with our family. My parents took us to London for a week which I really appreciated. I met people all summer long to hang out in cafes, go to Bway shows on cheap tickets and kiss my boyfriend in romantic places like the Empire State Building.

Maybe its a mark of how boring DC is as a city that teens have to go to the beach to to be somewhere "exciting."

[Anonymous]

Are the parent who say "let them go" the same ones who think its ok to allow underage kids to dirnk in their homes? If not, why not? You are basically condoning drinking, drugs, and sex at the beach.

[Anonymous]

They are all going to do that in 2 more months in college anyway. Don't fool yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do these kids have so much pocket change? I am in my late 40's. I come from an affluent community.

We had beach DAY.

Yeah and I walked two miles to school in the snow....give me a break ...I am from this area, a few years younger than you, and it was beach week when I was a senior with parents renting out houses for us. Had several friends who stayed for a couple months and worked while their parents paid their rent also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the parent who say "let them go" the same ones who think its ok to allow underage kids to dirnk in their homes? If not, why not? You are basically condoning drinking, drugs, and sex at the beach.

Just like pp said they will be going that in college in s few months. Get used to them not being controlled by you all the time now. They grow up and make their own decisions and yes- stupid mistakes.... Shocker!!!

[Anonymous]

When I graduated from high school in the 1980's we participated in beach week. I personally rented the house from a realtor (long distance phones and paper contracts). I used money I had earned the previous summer, with the house mates paying their portions. We all took responsibility for the house. Yes, there was beer, etc. The others from our school who went did the same thing I did, except for one person whose family had (has?) a house there.

I wouldn't pay for my kids to go, but if they have earned the money and are willing to work out the arrangements for themselves as I did, then I am fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the parent who say "let them go" the same ones who think its ok to allow underage kids to dirnk in their homes? If not, why not? You are basically condoning drinking, drugs, and sex at the beach.

Yes, I regard 17 year olds as almost adults, and 18 year olds as adults. As for sex, I would be more concerned if my 18 year old was not having sex - in the context of a relationship and taking the proper precautions, of course. My parents allowed me a lot of responsibility early on. As a consequence I was somewhat more responsible than most of my peers by the time I went to college. Never experimented with drugs beyond a little cannabis, for example.
Some of the kids that had the most controlling parents, on the other hand, did not know how to set limits once they were out of their parents' clutches. Either that, or the most brow-beaten ones studied all the time, went straight from working every hour at college to tedious jobs, marriage and kids, without ever having a day of real fun and freedom in their lives. In some ways I feel even more sorry for them.

Golf holidays with your father, beach holidays with your mom and your mom's friend! At 18! I was smoking dope with deserters from the Yugoslav army in Amsterdam, losing my virginity in Finland...
Best days of my life, and while I did some stupid things I will always remember them with fondness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do these kids have so much pocket change? I am in my late 40's. I come from an affluent community.

We had beach DAY.

I worked every summer in high school and I didn't spend much of the money I earned, though I did often buy my own clothes, so I had plenty of money to share a hotel room for a few days for beach week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parent who say "let them go" the same ones who think its ok to allow underage kids to dirnk in their homes? If not, why not? You are basically condoning drinking, drugs, and sex at the beach.

Yes, I regard 17 year olds as almost adults, and 18 year olds as adults. As for sex, I would be more concerned if my 18 year old was not having sex - in the context of a relationship and taking the proper precautions, of course. My parents allowed me a lot of responsibility early on. As a consequence I was somewhat more responsible than most of my peers by the time I went to college. Never experimented with drugs beyond a little cannabis, for example.
Some of the kids that had the most controlling parents, on the other hand, did not know how to set limits once they were out of their parents' clutches. Either that, or the most brow-beaten ones studied all the time, went straight from working every hour at college to tedious jobs, marriage and kids, without ever having a day of real fun and freedom in their lives. In some ways I feel even more sorry for them.

Golf holidays with your father, beach holidays with your mom and your mom's friend! At 18! I was smoking dope with deserters from the Yugoslav army in Amsterdam, losing my virginity in Finland...
Best days of my life, and while I did some stupid things I will always remember them with fondness.

WOW! Just wow. I dont care what anyone says - I am definitely never letting my daughter fell like a "loser" for still being a virgin at 18. Im sorry that your idea of a normal life is smoking dope and having sex with the army.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parent who say "let them go" the same ones who think its ok to allow underage kids to dirnk in their homes? If not, why not? You are basically condoning drinking, drugs, and sex at the beach.

Yes, I regard 17 year olds as almost adults, and 18 year olds as adults. As for sex, I would be more concerned if my 18 year old was not having sex - in the context of a relationship and taking the proper precautions, of course. My parents allowed me a lot of responsibility early on. As a consequence I was somewhat more responsible than most of my peers by the time I went to college. Never experimented with drugs beyond a little cannabis, for example.
Some of the kids that had the most controlling parents, on the other hand, did not know how to set limits once they were out of their parents' clutches. Either that, or the most brow-beaten ones studied all the time, went straight from working every hour at college to tedious jobs, marriage and kids, without ever having a day of real fun and freedom in their lives. In some ways I feel even more sorry for them.

Golf holidays with your father, beach holidays with your mom and your mom's friend! At 18! I was smoking dope with deserters from the Yugoslav army in Amsterdam, losing my virginity in Finland...
Best days of my life, and while I did some stupid things I will always remember them with fondness.

WOW! Just wow. I dont care what anyone says - I am definitely never letting my daughter fell like a "loser" for still being a virgin at 18. Im sorry that your idea of a normal life is smoking dope and having sex with the army.

You did not read the entire first bolded sentence pp. She said having sex IN THE CONTEXT of being careful and taking precaution. Not just having it to have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parent who say "let them go" the same ones who think its ok to allow underage kids to dirnk in their homes? If not, why not? You are basically condoning drinking, drugs, and sex at the beach.

Yes, I regard 17 year olds as almost adults, and 18 year olds as adults. As for sex, I would be more concerned if my 18 year old was not having sex - in the context of a relationship and taking the proper precautions, of course. My parents allowed me a lot of responsibility early on. As a consequence I was somewhat more responsible than most of my peers by the time I went to college. Never experimented with drugs beyond a little cannabis, for example.
Some of the kids that had the most controlling parents, on the other hand, did not know how to set limits once they were out of their parents' clutches. Either that, or the most brow-beaten ones studied all the time, went straight from working every hour at college to tedious jobs, marriage and kids, without ever having a day of real fun and freedom in their lives. In some ways I feel even more sorry for them.

Golf holidays with your father, beach holidays with your mom and your mom's friend! At 18! I was smoking dope with deserters from the Yugoslav army in Amsterdam, losing my virginity in Finland...
Best days of my life, and while I did some stupid things I will always remember them with fondness.

This sounds fun to me. I wish I had done more adventurous things in my youth.

[Anonymous]

12:10, You're just too cool for me smoking dope in Amsterdam and f**king a Finn at 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't. Planned a father-son golf trip so he didn't feel like he was all alone while all his friends were at the beach. DS was not happy but we pretty much said tough.

Drinking, sex and so forth are usually a part of college life. But they aren't the point of college, so hopefully they are side activities to the primary purpose of being there.

They are the point of beach week with no other purpose. Sorry, not something this parent is condoning.

Way to go mom. Thank you for stating this; it helps other more responsible parents to know that we're not the only ones saying NO WAY.

Totally agree! We have one about to graduate from college, one in college, one leaving this summer for college, and two in high school. No way would I allow my senior to go to "beach week". Of course they are going to party in college. But that's a more controlled environment. And they aren't going to college for the sole purpose of getting drunk and acting like idiots. Sometimes parents need to step in and prevent kids from doing things that might have lasting consequences. An 18 year old does not have the judgment nor the life experience to always make good decisions at the moment of choice. I would argue that even a 19 or 20 year old is more equipped than an 18 year old high school senior.

It's not about controlling your kids. We all know that if kids want to get drunk, do drugs, or have sex, they'll find a way. However, encouraging your child to do so is irresponsible.