FOR ALL SAHMs - what is your day like?

[Anonymous]

I agree. The poster who condemns WMs sounds very unhappy. I'm a SAHM, but I can see the negatives and positives of both choices. PP, if you were happy with your decision and your situation in life, you would not feel the need to chastise those who have not made the same choices as you.

[Anonymous]

I find this thread very discouraging that many of these SAHMs have such elitist views and are so smug. As a SAHM myself, its a shame that I'm lumped into this group of petty insecure women. I see more of these negative attitudes on this board than I do in "real life" with my circle of SAH friends, but maybe I just chose to hang out with a different set of moms who aren't so arrogant.

No SAHM can predict the future, who knows what could possibly force you back into the workforce. Being at home is not such a rosy picture that SAHMs like to often paint. I know quite a few SAHMs who have no idea what they are doing look at the miserable messages on this board if you want proof. There are a lot of unhappy people and this thread is a testament to that. Go take a poll of all your friends on meds, seeing shrinks, people who have body issues, anger issues, control issues, self-esteem issues, anxiety issues, attachment issues, commitment issues, and addiction issues and I will guarantee you will not find a daycare correlation, but a correlation of being raised by parents who have failed in some area regardless if the mom works in the home our out of the home.

Humbleness is not something most women commenting on this board know much about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do not second guess your self. Almost everyone who puts their children in daycare say it is better, but that is bull! the best place for a child is with the mommy. (or daddy) Unfortunatly not everyone can do that. And there are a few moms out there that are not capable of taking care of a child. I am talking majority here, so please everyone don't jump down my throt about your child. Staying at home is a huge challenge, but so worth it in the long run. I know a pp stated they could not tell the difference b/e saycare and stay at home children, I can in about 5 seconds. My childs teacher told me she could tell and she is right, there is a difference. Enjoy this time with your child. Not every minute will be fun, peaceful or educational, but have you every sat in on a daycare? Your child is getting one on one attention, something every child craves!
I know I am going to hear it from the daycare people, go ahead, it will never sway my thoughts. Unless you absolutly have to do it, stay at home.

You have got to be kidding me! I would put you up to this challenge anyday! When i was touring daycares, I saw all sorts of kids with all sorts of differernt personalities. A childs personality is innate. Staying at home or going to daycare isn't goind to make a noticeable difference. My SIL claims she can spot daycare kids, too. Imagine her embarrassment when she came to my house for a birthday party and told one of my friends that her kids are obviously well behaved because they stay at home! Ha! Daycare from 3 months for both! She had this friend confused with another one of my friends who is a SAHM. And. FWIW, I never went with a daycare, but wouldn't rule out out if my situation changes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read somewhere that SAHM today spend much more time doing things with their children, while our moms spent more time on housework, hostess/social activities and taking care of dad. IMO this is good but it also probably contributes to children feeling more the center of the universe. In many ways, spending more time with kids and finding stimulating activities, is simply more interesting and rewarding to the SAHM than playing hostess and holly home maker. Who wants to give up their career to do housework, host bridge clubs and iron shirts? The good old days weren't always that good...

I am a SAHM and I can tell you that I do my fair share of housework during the day. I take my kid to the park at least 3-4 times a week and go to a playgroup once or twice a month. I read to him, play games, and keep him entertained. But...when mom has things to do, he needs to keep himself occupied. No way would I pay for classes to enable *socialization*. In my opinion, it is crazy to throw away your money like this thinking that it will have some sort of effect on your kids. These companies are taking advatage of this hysteria and are making a killing charging $20-$30 for 45 minutes of playtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read somewhere that SAHM today spend much more time doing things with their children, while our moms spent more time on housework, hostess/social activities and taking care of dad. IMO this is good but it also probably contributes to children feeling more the center of the universe. In many ways, spending more time with kids and finding stimulating activities, is simply more interesting and rewarding to the SAHM than playing hostess and holly home maker. Who wants to give up their career to do housework, host bridge clubs and iron shirts? The good old days weren't always that good...

That study was actually all parents - working and not. So even comparing a WM of today with a SAHM of 40 years ago, the WM today spends more actual time with her kids. Interesting stuff.

[Anonymous]

OP here. . . thank you to everyone who respond to my post. I know in my heart that staying at home to care for my son is the right decision for me. As one poster said, no one will love your child like you do. I just want to be sure that I am doing what is my child's best interest - not necessairly my own. Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

I am a new SAHM to 4 month old DD. I would love to hear about other mom's schedules with their infants - I am looking for good ideas b/c I am in a bit of a rut! Does it get easier when babies are older and more interactive? For example, I love reading board books to DD but she isn't all that interested most of the time.

[Anonymous]

To the PP, your baby is still young enough that she's entirely portable. So, when the napping and nursing schedule permits, grab the diaper bag and get out of the house. Focus on what will stimilate you, because she'll be just as content to play with her feet or jangle the carkeys at a friend's house, the park, the grocery store, etc.

If you deny yourself those opportunities to get out of the house, that rut will get deeper. And besides, in a few months, you're going to have a crawler that will no longer remain still for so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a new SAHM to 4 month old DD. I would love to hear about other mom's schedules with their infants - I am looking for good ideas b/c I am in a bit of a rut! Does it get easier when babies are older and more interactive? For example, I love reading board books to DD but she isn't all that interested most of the time.

I remember when my children were that age. They're too little to do much. I was like you because I thought I always needed to be doing something to educate/socialize/entertain my baby. But I learned that babies that age don't need that much. Books are important, but you won't see them really react to them for many months to come. Music is great. Talking to them obviously is great. A swing, a very simple and brightly colored toy, some tummy time - that's about it. But I would agree with PP - now is a great time to take your baby out to see the world. She is very portable, and it will keep YOU out of a rut. Also, I joined an informal playgroup for my first child at about that age - I also took Mommy and Me yoga with him then. And for my second child, we did music classes at around that age. (It's young for the classes, but I enjoyed t hem and so did her big brother.)

Mostly, though, some books, music, long walks, a brightly colored toy or two, and lots of one-on-one attention and love is all she needs! I wish I knew that back when I had my first baby! Good luck to you. (I often remember those days fondly and wish I could put MY children into a stroller or BabyBjorn NOW and just carry them around to do errands and go shopping and do my own thing!)