FOR ALL SAHMs - what is your day like?

[Anonymous]

While I want to say "don't second guess yourself," it would hypocritical of me to do so since I am in your same situation, wondering if I'm dong the right thing. Ninety percent of the time I think I am, but I have days where I wonder if I'm doing "enough" to stimulate my 17-month old daughter. Our typical day looks like this:

Wake up 7:00
She plays and has her milk while I make coffee, organize kitchen (usually last night's dishes) and make breakfast
Eat breakfast
Either play/read some more or leave for playgroup (2 mornings per week)
If it's not a play group day we either go for a walk, to the park or run errands
Home for lunch by 12:00
Nap 1:00-3:00ish
After nap is either walk, park or errands
Dinner at 5:30
A little TV (Jack's Big Music Show) while Mommy fixes dinner
Daddy home at 7:00 -- play for half hour
7:30 bath and bedtime

Now that I'm getting her out to play group 2x per week I feel like she's getting more stimulation, and I feel good about that, but it's those days that we don't have much to do and I run out of ideas and/or energy at home that I wonder if she'd be better in a more structured environment with planned activities. I think it takes a lot of creativity and initiative to keep our little ones enagaged and stimulated on our own, and it's hard not to wonder on some days whether we're doing a good job. So while I'm not sure this post helped you, at least you know you're not alone if feeling the way you do.

[Anonymous]

Our typical day (DD is 20 months):

AM: playtime/breakfast and a little bit of TV while I shower.
activity or class, such as music, tumbles, gymnastics or playground
lunch
PM: nap (while I veg or do something around the house)
playground, playgroup, walk or errands
dinner
bath, bedtime

I make sure that we get out of the house every day-usually twice a day. Both of us go crazy staying inside even though we have a lot of toys and activities. If I have a whole day free, we'll venture out on a new activity such as the Botanical Gardens, Petting Zoo, Zoo, see an entertainer, etc. Now that DD is older it is easier to go do these things because she really enjoys them. I also make sure that we see other kids every day-we have a close knit group of friends that we see daily.

Don't second guess yourself-if there was no benefit at all to daycare, I can't imagine working moms would want to send their child there! Staying at home is a huge responsibility in the sense that you are solely responsible for your child's teaching and development and you can't really blame a caregiver for their bad habits or behavior! On the other hand, you can formulate how your child will spend their time all the time.

[Anonymous]

maybe everyone should get off the computer and go stimulate like you say you are doing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:maybe everyone should get off the computer and go stimulate like you say you are doing

maybe we are on the computer when our kids nap. mine nap twice a day so i go on the computer twice a day. sorry you are so bitter. when my children wake up we are heading up to our pool to go swimming together.

[Anonymous]

For a study I'm working on, I recently interviewed a number of professors of early childhood education about this, some of whom run NAEYC-accredited child care programs in conjunction with their universities or colleges. Their nearly universal opinion was that a child is better off in one-on-one care until at least age 2. Most of them also agreed that a parent is the best primary caregiver. The need for "socialization" among very young children is not supported by research. Daycare can be a fine choice for working parents, but it is not, in most cases, "better" than having a parent at home. Working parents who choose daycare are making the best choice for them, and you're making the best choice for your family. You don't need to worry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:maybe everyone should get off the computer and go stimulate like you say you are doing

maybe we are on the computer when our kids nap. mine nap twice a day so i go on the computer twice a day. sorry you are so bitter. when my children wake up we are heading up to our pool to go swimming together.

Little chilly for the pool dont you think? We are going to makes crafts

[Anonymous]

Your day is similar to ours. Don't second guess yourself, besides the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Think about all the money you are saving by avoiding daycare (not to mention the stereotypic germ factory that daycare centers typically are), no heart wrenching drop offs, and how much fun you are having playing, teaching, and most importantly bonding.

-SAHM mom of 12 mo. old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a study I'm working on, I recently interviewed a number of professors of early childhood education about this, some of whom run NAEYC-accredited child care programs in conjunction with their universities or colleges. Their nearly universal opinion was that a child is better off in one-on-one care until at least age 2. Most of them also agreed that a parent is the best primary caregiver. The need for "socialization" among very young children is not supported by research. Daycare can be a fine choice for working parents, but it is not, in most cases, "better" than having a parent at home. Working parents who choose daycare are making the best choice for them, and you're making the best choice for your family. You don't need to worry, OP.

I was told the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:maybe everyone should get off the computer and go stimulate like you say you are doing

maybe we are on the computer when our kids nap. mine nap twice a day so i go on the computer twice a day. sorry you are so bitter. when my children wake up we are heading up to our pool to go swimming together.

Little chilly for the pool dont you think? We are going to makes crafts

Naptime for us too! Then we're off to soccer (for three-year-olds) and to meet friends at the park afterwards. After that, home for dinner, baths, reading, and sleep.

OP, I think that the experts would say your day is perfect for your child. When he/she gets a little older, you can sign up for lots of music classes and such. There are also wonderful playgroups in this area. One of my children went to a playgroup from the time he was about 16 months old, and the other did not. Both children are equally socialized, happy, and secure. No difference whatsoever at that young age.

[Anonymous]

What I struggle with is, if we do all of these "stimulating" things, when do you do laundry, grocery shop, cook, shower, water plants, organize closets, take care of bills and other correspondence. . . these are the things I strugle with as a SAHM!

[Anonymous]

PP -- to a baby, most of those ARE stimulating things, as long as you talk with your child as you are doing them (even if he's too little to really understand). A friend of mine asked the pediatrician when her child was a few months old what she should be doing to "stimulate" and he laughed and said, "He's six months old. Everything is stimulation."

Obviously the older a child gets, the more that changes, but I feel quite sure that as long as you are engaging with and talking to your child, they are getting plenty of the stimulation they need just by learning from you while you are doing ordinary tasks.

[Anonymous]

I struggle with time too, but I've gotten a lot better at it through trial and error. My children are 18 months apart, so I shower before they wake up. DH serves them breakfast before he leaves for work. I pay bills in the evening or while my kids are sleeping. I have my kids "help" with things like cooking and watering plants, etc.

I have a babysitter watch my kids while I go food shopping, get my hair cut, run errands, etc. It's just too much of a hassle to bring two children shopping. I was never very good about things like organizing closets, so I figure that sort of stuff can wait until my children are (sadly) off to preschool in a little more than a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP -- to a baby, most of those ARE stimulating things, as long as you talk with your child as you are doing them (even if he's too little to really understand). A friend of mine asked the pediatrician when her child was a few months old what she should be doing to "stimulate" and he laughed and said, "He's six months old. Everything is stimulation."

Obviously the older a child gets, the more that changes, but I feel quite sure that as long as you are engaging with and talking to your child, they are getting plenty of the stimulation they need just by learning from you while you are doing ordinary tasks.

Yes, good point about all of these everyday activities being stimulating and educational for a baby. Even watering a plant is fascinating to my baby and toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP -- to a baby, most of those ARE stimulating things, as long as you talk with your child as you are doing them (even if he's too little to really understand). A friend of mine asked the pediatrician when her child was a few months old what she should be doing to "stimulate" and he laughed and said, "He's six months old. Everything is stimulation."

Obviously the older a child gets, the more that changes, but I feel quite sure that as long as you are engaging with and talking to your child, they are getting plenty of the stimulation they need just by learning from you while you are doing ordinary tasks.

Yes, good point about all of these everyday activities being stimulating and educational for a baby. Even watering a plant is fascinating to my baby and toddler.

Yes, the doctor assured me of the same thing when I was worried about stimulating my son. Everything is so new to them, year at 13 months that they enjoy and learn from going to the store, gardening, watering plants, cooking dinner.

Has anyone worked with interns or taken any lectures on the "daycare generation" who need to be entertained all of the time? Before I left my job to stay home our HR department sent us to one of these lectures on the different generations in the work place. We have to arrange happy hours, deal with office "hook ups" and have time set aside for entertaining because the kids graduating today that were in the "daycare generation" seek out stimualtion and entertainment at work as they did at daycare. It is where they socialize, just like at daycare... It was a very interesting perspective on daycare and the older generations with stronger work ethics who go to work to actually work, not to meet people and hang out, then go home to their families. Very interesting.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't compromise the benefits of staying at home simply for the sole reason of the socialization aspect of day care.

Your day sounds similar to ours (I'm a SAHM mom too). I assume your child is reaching all of his/her developmental and social (handing you toys, clapping, etc.) so no worries.