FOR ALL SAHMs - what is your day like?

[Anonymous]

OP I think you are doing great! And yes, your child is getting plenty of stimulation. Walks, grocery store etc. are so stimulating for them at this age. In time, you will likely meet more people and do more play dates etc. but your child will also likely do some form of preschool around 3. That's enough for my kids on that front, and I reserve their afternoons for activities with mommy and quiet time at home, or just playing outside in the yard.


Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy this time. It is so wonderful (hard, but wonderful). I worked with my first, and I can tell you, I now know how much cuddling and just hang out time I missed. Nothing against working at all, just a reminder that what you are doing is really special and the time together is short-lived. My kids are getting older and I see that very soon on the horizon they will be gone most of the day at school, activities, etc.

[Anonymous]

I lived and continue to live in both SAH and working world.

I exculsively stayed home the 1st 18mos of my son's life, I do believe that being home at the beginning helps with bonding, and nursing (which was one of my priorities). At 18mos I put him in PT daycare and he took to it right away and was visibily elated to be around all the other kids from day 1. His adjustment was completely smooth, it was clear that he was ready for this. I totally see the benefit of daycare at this point, as a SAHM you have absolutly no visibility into the benefits of this until you see it yourself. Even when I go back to SAH after my 2nd is born, I will not take my son out of his PT daycare.

From a SAH perspective there are many parents who do a great job and also some parents who do their child a disservice by being home. I have seen excessive TV watching, lack of structure, loud yelling, and kids spending much time in the car being dragged around from place to place. There are also pleanty of moms who try very hard to make SAH their true JOB, which involves planning, structure, thought, and constant revision.

I think since DS is only home with me Tuesdays half Wednesdays and Thursdays, I plan pretty well to make those 2 days hight impact. Example:

Wake 6:30am (take my shower, eat breakfast, drink coffee, and get dressed and put on shoes-from fly lady-love her!)
DS wakes around 7:30
7:30-8pm DS eats breakfast
8-9 get DS dressed and play with toys or paints/playdough/art stuff
9-12noon go to park, have friends over, go to friends house, go to petting farm, go to lake to feed ducks, or go to scheduled class through community center (whatever it is, it is something planned)
12-12:30 eat lunch
12:30-3pm nap time
3pm-4pm play in backyard (maybe have a friend over as well)
4pm-5pm DS plays with toys while I start to prep dinner.
5-5:30-DS eats dinner
5:30-dad arrives home and takes over while I make dinner
eat, play outside, have fun with dad, bath, book and in bed by 7:30.

I try very hard not to drag DS around with me on errands. Sometimes do my grocery shopping in the early AM or in the PM after dad comes home. I also am very lucky to have tons of family in the area so often times grandparents or aunts are over at the house so this of course is DS's favorite and then I run out and do whatever needs to be done.

[Anonymous]

"Has anyone worked with interns or taken any lectures on the "daycare generation" who need to be entertained all of the time? "

This has zip to do with daycare. The studies on the millenials do not differentiate between daycare and SAHMs. The trend is driven by changes in parenting styles, changes in school styles, media exposure, technology access, and a changing workforce which requires more knowledge workers with skills that our generation lacks. Economic status and early screen exposure are the separating factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Has anyone worked with interns or taken any lectures on the "daycare generation" who need to be entertained all of the time? "

This has zip to do with daycare. The studies on the millenials do not differentiate between daycare and SAHMs. The trend is driven by changes in parenting styles, changes in school styles, media exposure, technology access, and a changing workforce which requires more knowledge workers with skills that our generation lacks. Economic status and early screen exposure are the separating factors.

I could not agree more!

Look at parenting styles now, both SAH and working....back when we were young, the playpen was the babysitter. Moms in the 60's and 70's did not fret over the perfect balance of stimulation and wooden toys. Today's parents are pratical circus monkey's for their kids constantly trying to keep them entertained. This thread of proof of that. My mom did not cart us around to the Litte Gym, constant art classes, summer camps, playgroups, Mr. Knick Knack, petting zoos, sports bounce, lil kickers, and Jammin Java. These events were treats, but not expectations. We had playdough, dirt in the backyard to dig in, friends in the cul-de-sac, and bicycles. Look at the obscene amout of toys kids have now a days. We go over to play at people's house and you pratically have to wade through the sea of plastic toys and kids crap everywhere that the parents have purchased to keep the optimum amount of entertainment and stimulation. This generation of childern requiring constant entertainment spans the entire spectrum of kids regardless of daycare or SAH.

Look at the postings of SAH moms and working moms all miserable about how they cannot cook dinner with a toddler at their feet. Are they so afraid they will ruin their kid if they make them play alone, terrified they will become bored and fuss and cry for attention? My mom spent much time in the kitchen completely unphased about the perils of boredom her children might be experiencing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Has anyone worked with interns or taken any lectures on the "daycare generation" who need to be entertained all of the time? "

This has zip to do with daycare. The studies on the millenials do not differentiate between daycare and SAHMs. The trend is driven by changes in parenting styles, changes in school styles, media exposure, technology access, and a changing workforce which requires more knowledge workers with skills that our generation lacks. Economic status and early screen exposure are the separating factors.

I could not agree more!

Look at parenting styles now, both SAH and working....back when we were young, the playpen was the babysitter. Moms in the 60's and 70's did not fret over the perfect balance of stimulation and wooden toys. Today's parents are pratical circus monkey's for their kids constantly trying to keep them entertained. This thread of proof of that. My mom did not cart us around to the Litte Gym, constant art classes, summer camps, playgroups, Mr. Knick Knack, petting zoos, sports bounce, lil kickers, and Jammin Java. These events were treats, but not expectations. We had playdough, dirt in the backyard to dig in, friends in the cul-de-sac, and bicycles. Look at the obscene amout of toys kids have now a days. We go over to play at people's house and you pratically have to wade through the sea of plastic toys and kids crap everywhere that the parents have purchased to keep the optimum amount of entertainment and stimulation. This generation of childern requiring constant entertainment spans the entire spectrum of kids regardless of daycare or SAH.

Look at the postings of SAH moms and working moms all miserable about how they cannot cook dinner with a toddler at their feet. Are they so afraid they will ruin their kid if they make them play alone, terrified they will become bored and fuss and cry for attention? My mom spent much time in the kitchen completely unphased about the perils of boredom her children might be experiencing.

Are you that mom? that's able to put your kids out the back door and they entertain themselves with dirt? First of all there are hardly any kids out there to play with because they are all at activities. I would love to be able to let them out the back door.

[Anonymous]

It seems that everyone is saying that day care offers the best opportunity for socialization. That's certainly true if you want your child to have all-day interaction with people beyond the family. But when my child was very young, I found that by staying at home, I could offer my him a really good balance of "social opportunities" (and come on, at 13 months it's still parallel play) and one-on-one interaction. He didn't miss out on time with other kids at all, though he was less used to big groups.

In previous generations, I think that families stayed geographically closer and there was more across-the-fence socailizing with neighbors. So children were being raised amongst other children, and mothers had other mothers to interact with during the day. Our generation certainly has to make more effort. But it's all still there. My son always spent at least a couple of hours every day with other children -- which was also an opportunity for me not to feel isolated.

When he entered preschool, he was initially shyer about group activities than the day-care kids, but he was (and still is) more verbal. He overcame his shyness quickly and is now a very popular and outgoing boy.

OP, I think that by following your own good instincts, you can't go wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Has anyone worked with interns or taken any lectures on the "daycare generation" who need to be entertained all of the time? "

This has zip to do with daycare. The studies on the millenials do not differentiate between daycare and SAHMs. The trend is driven by changes in parenting styles, changes in school styles, media exposure, technology access, and a changing workforce which requires more knowledge workers with skills that our generation lacks. Economic status and early screen exposure are the separating factors.

I could not agree more!

Look at parenting styles now, both SAH and working....back when we were young, the playpen was the babysitter. Moms in the 60's and 70's did not fret over the perfect balance of stimulation and wooden toys. Today's parents are pratical circus monkey's for their kids constantly trying to keep them entertained. This thread of proof of that. My mom did not cart us around to the Litte Gym, constant art classes, summer camps, playgroups, Mr. Knick Knack, petting zoos, sports bounce, lil kickers, and Jammin Java. These events were treats, but not expectations. We had playdough, dirt in the backyard to dig in, friends in the cul-de-sac, and bicycles. Look at the obscene amout of toys kids have now a days. We go over to play at people's house and you pratically have to wade through the sea of plastic toys and kids crap everywhere that the parents have purchased to keep the optimum amount of entertainment and stimulation. This generation of childern requiring constant entertainment spans the entire spectrum of kids regardless of daycare or SAH.

Look at the postings of SAH moms and working moms all miserable about how they cannot cook dinner with a toddler at their feet. Are they so afraid they will ruin their kid if they make them play alone, terrified they will become bored and fuss and cry for attention? My mom spent much time in the kitchen completely unphased about the perils of boredom her children might be experiencing.

Are you that mom? that's able to put your kids out the back door and they entertain themselves with dirt? First of all there are hardly any kids out there to play with because they are all at activities. I would love to be able to let them out the back door.

Yes, but we have a sandbox although when my son was younger he preferred my planters and vegetable garden much to my dismay. My kids want to be outside constantly and I mean CONSTANTLY, especially now that the weather is warm. The toys in the house are hardly touched on these beautiful May days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Has anyone worked with interns or taken any lectures on the "daycare generation" who need to be entertained all of the time? "

This has zip to do with daycare. The studies on the millenials do not differentiate between daycare and SAHMs. The trend is driven by changes in parenting styles, changes in school styles, media exposure, technology access, and a changing workforce which requires more knowledge workers with skills that our generation lacks. Economic status and early screen exposure are the separating factors.

I could not agree more!

Look at parenting styles now, both SAH and working....back when we were young, the playpen was the babysitter. Moms in the 60's and 70's did not fret over the perfect balance of stimulation and wooden toys. Today's parents are pratical circus monkey's for their kids constantly trying to keep them entertained. This thread of proof of that. My mom did not cart us around to the Litte Gym, constant art classes, summer camps, playgroups, Mr. Knick Knack, petting zoos, sports bounce, lil kickers, and Jammin Java. These events were treats, but not expectations. We had playdough, dirt in the backyard to dig in, friends in the cul-de-sac, and bicycles. Look at the obscene amout of toys kids have now a days. We go over to play at people's house and you pratically have to wade through the sea of plastic toys and kids crap everywhere that the parents have purchased to keep the optimum amount of entertainment and stimulation. This generation of childern requiring constant entertainment spans the entire spectrum of kids regardless of daycare or SAH.

Look at the postings of SAH moms and working moms all miserable about how they cannot cook dinner with a toddler at their feet. Are they so afraid they will ruin their kid if they make them play alone, terrified they will become bored and fuss and cry for attention? My mom spent much time in the kitchen completely unphased about the perils of boredom her children might be experiencing.

Are you that mom? that's able to put your kids out the back door and they entertain themselves with dirt? First of all there are hardly any kids out there to play with because they are all at activities. I would love to be able to let them out the back door.

You know, she's right! We were on our bikes, our big wheels, playing dungeon tag-and yes, playing in DIRT. I remember my childhood as being carefree and fun, with loving parents and grandparents. I wouldn't knock what the poster wrote-we do stress ourselves out having to do all this stimulation, driving our children to be smart, athletic-when in reality-it's "play" that children need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Has anyone worked with interns or taken any lectures on the "daycare generation" who need to be entertained all of the time? "

This has zip to do with daycare. The studies on the millenials do not differentiate between daycare and SAHMs. The trend is driven by changes in parenting styles, changes in school styles, media exposure, technology access, and a changing workforce which requires more knowledge workers with skills that our generation lacks. Economic status and early screen exposure are the separating factors.

I could not agree more!

Look at parenting styles now, both SAH and working....back when we were young, the playpen was the babysitter. Moms in the 60's and 70's did not fret over the perfect balance of stimulation and wooden toys. Today's parents are pratical circus monkey's for their kids constantly trying to keep them entertained. This thread of proof of that. My mom did not cart us around to the Litte Gym, constant art classes, summer camps, playgroups, Mr. Knick Knack, petting zoos, sports bounce, lil kickers, and Jammin Java. These events were treats, but not expectations. We had playdough, dirt in the backyard to dig in, friends in the cul-de-sac, and bicycles. Look at the obscene amout of toys kids have now a days. We go over to play at people's house and you pratically have to wade through the sea of plastic toys and kids crap everywhere that the parents have purchased to keep the optimum amount of entertainment and stimulation. This generation of childern requiring constant entertainment spans the entire spectrum of kids regardless of daycare or SAH.

Look at the postings of SAH moms and working moms all miserable about how they cannot cook dinner with a toddler at their feet. Are they so afraid they will ruin their kid if they make them play alone, terrified they will become bored and fuss and cry for attention? My mom spent much time in the kitchen completely unphased about the perils of boredom her children might be experiencing.

I agree, but times have changed. I used to constantly complain to my mom that I was bored. Her response: "find something to do," "go outside," or "go clean my room." She didn't feel the least bit compelled to entertain me. I did love to run wild with siblings and neighborhood kids though. Unfortunately, I don't live in that kind of neighborhood anymore.

[Anonymous]

OP, do not second guess your self. Almost everyone who puts their children in daycare say it is better, but that is bull! the best place for a child is with the mommy. (or daddy) Unfortunatly not everyone can do that. And there are a few moms out there that are not capable of taking care of a child. I am talking majority here, so please everyone don't jump down my throt about your child. Staying at home is a huge challenge, but so worth it in the long run. I know a pp stated they could not tell the difference b/e saycare and stay at home children, I can in about 5 seconds. My childs teacher told me she could tell and she is right, there is a difference. Enjoy this time with your child. Not every minute will be fun, peaceful or educational, but have you every sat in on a daycare? Your child is getting one on one attention, something every child craves!
I know I am going to hear it from the daycare people, go ahead, it will never sway my thoughts. Unless you absolutly have to do it, stay at home.

[Anonymous]

Funny, almost everyone who stays at home says its better, and that is bull!

[Anonymous]

I read somewhere that SAHM today spend much more time doing things with their children, while our moms spent more time on housework, hostess/social activities and taking care of dad. IMO this is good but it also probably contributes to children feeling more the center of the universe. In many ways, spending more time with kids and finding stimulating activities, is simply more interesting and rewarding to the SAHM than playing hostess and holly home maker. Who wants to give up their career to do housework, host bridge clubs and iron shirts? The good old days weren't always that good...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny, almost everyone who stays at home says its better, and that is bull!

Also funny that almost everyone who works says part-time parenting is best. I can tell you're just itching to start a fight. Must be a slow Friday.

[Anonymous]

and you pp are online an awful lot today even though you are supposed to be stimulationg- turn off the tv and computer and get outside and start your full time parenting then!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do not second guess your self. Almost everyone who puts their children in daycare say it is better, but that is bull! the best place for a child is with the mommy. (or daddy) Unfortunatly not everyone can do that. And there are a few moms out there that are not capable of taking care of a child. I am talking majority here, so please everyone don't jump down my throt about your child. Staying at home is a huge challenge, but so worth it in the long run. I know a pp stated they could not tell the difference b/e saycare and stay at home children, I can in about 5 seconds. My childs teacher told me she could tell and she is right, there is a difference. Enjoy this time with your child. Not every minute will be fun, peaceful or educational, but have you every sat in on a daycare? Your child is getting one on one attention, something every child craves!


I know I am going to hear it from the daycare people, go ahead, it will never sway my thoughts. Unless you absolutly have to do it, stay at home.

I was a SAHM until my son went to school and now work only when he is at school so i have no stake in the day care arena but I must disagree with this post. It is merely designed to upset WMs and says a great deal about the poster (nothing good). I do not believe that either you or most anyone can tell the difference between a child who stayed with mom and the child who went to day care. I know some very badly behaved and whiny children as well as well behaved and well adjusted chldren who are the products of both SAHMs and WMs. It is the parenting style that impacts on the kids not whether the mom SAH or works.

We are lucky to be able to make the choice to SAH with our kids - and it is choce that not everyone wants to make or can make. It is very unkind and immature to make people feel bad about their choices and this post indicates that the writer is not altogether happy about his/her lot in life. I am sorry but if you were happy you would feel no need to condemn others' decisions - you would be too busy enjoying your own. I have come across many WMs anbd SAHMs who are unhappy with their lot and many sound just like this poster.