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FOR ALL SAHMs - what is your day like?
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Anonymous
| Recently there have been many posts about the benefits of daycare (the socializing, developing independence, participating group activities, etc. . .). I am a SAHM by choice (ds is 13 months) and after reading these posts, I am beginning to wonder if I made the right decision. It seems that so many mothers believe that daycare is truly better for the child. On a typical day ds wakes up, I feed him breakfast, we read stories and play with his toys, I put him back to sleep for an hour or so, when he wakes we go swimming or do some sort of activity with other children. Then we come home have lunch, nap and more play time / activity/ run errands until dinner and bath time. I love staying at home with ds but am beginning to wonder if it would be better for his develpment to be in daycare? While I make every effort to ensure he is stimulated daily, he is with me the entire day. Is ds better off in a daycare environment? To all SAHMs, what is your day like? What do you do to ensure your dc is stimulated? |
Anonymous
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Why are you second guessing yourself? Your baby is with HIS MOTHER. While I have nothing against daycare, and my child will indeed someday attend preschool, children are typically far better off at home with mom or dad. Your child is learning kindness, security, he will learn independence just through the fact that he can DEPEND on you. Please ask your pediatrician. Children who are attached to one main person for care giving in their first few years of life are far more indepenent and secure.
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Anonymous
| I am a working mom- DC has been in day care since he was 13 months old. I do think that he learned a lot in day care and really enjoyed it. However, that does not mean that you are not providing your child with the same opportunities or activities. It sounds like you have a very full schedule and do not just turn on the TV all day. I think when we (WMs) write about the benefits of day care, we are just stating that it is a good option for our child. We are not implying that a child is better off in day care than at home. Although I do think that a good day care is better than a child staying at home with a mom or nanny who fails to engage the child in any activities. |
Anonymous
| Agree--don't second-guess yourself. If you're happy and he's happy, you're fine. If you are concerned about socialization, have playdates, take classes, go to the playground... Socialization needs are much different at 4, say, than at 1. |
Anonymous
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Our guy was in daycare from 4.5-9 months and has been home with me since then. He is 14 months old now. My day looks like yours, pretty much. He did great in daycare (except for napping). He does great at home with me. (I do less well, some days!)
Here's my take on it: at the park on Saturdays I can't tell a bit of difference between the at-home kids, the nanny kids and the day-care kids. I think what matters is good care of whatever kind and you're obviously a conscientious mom, so don't worry about this. Worry about important stuff, like if we're killing them with plastic or soy or peanuts!! (Kidding!) |
Anonymous
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"Why are you second guessing yourself? Your baby is with HIS MOTHER. While I have nothing against daycare, and my child will indeed someday attend preschool, children are typically far better off at home with mom or dad. Your child is learning kindness, security, he will learn independence just through the fact that he can DEPEND on you. Please ask your pediatrician. Children who are attached to one main person for care giving in their first few years of life are far more indepenent and secure."
This is such an ignorant statement. One of the hardest parts of staying home is dealing with all the other sanctimonious, annoying SAHMs. Babycenter.com has a great section on developmental activities. If you are looking for more to do you could pick one of their projects and incorporate it into their play. Measuring cups, cut out shapes, learning comparisons in size are all early math skills that can be fun. Having lots of art supplies is also good. I surprised that at one year DS scribbles with a crayon. Another option could be a regular playdate with another mom so DC interacts with the same kids more frequently. |
Anonymous
What is sactimonious about what I said? It is not ignorant. I have nothing against daycare and if I had found one that I really liked at the time my child was born I would have sent him. I didn't see sending an infant to daycare as something I wanted to do. That being said our pediatrician told us that it has been shown that children who are bonded with one care giver, be it mom or nanny, are far more independent toddlers and children than children who are in daycare situations with many care givers. What in the world is ignorant about repeating what a professional told us? Telling someone not to second guess their choice is not ignorant either. |
Anonymous
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I definitely would not second guess yourself, either. I think it sounds like you do a great job. There is no reason that a one-year-old needs to spend most of his days in a group or school-like setting. That's what preschool, kindergarten, and elementary school are for! Every thing that you do with him and expose him to is teaching him and engaging him, and while it might be different from what happens in daycare, it is definitely just as good (if not better, simply because of the undivided attention and focus).
I will be a SAHM when my first baby is born in a few months and I plan to structure our days much like you do. I have full faith that my (and my husband's) efforts will prepare my baby for preschool when she's ready for that, and that preschool will prepare her for kindergarten, and so on. Daycare can be a great option for people who need it, but if you don't, don't worry about it! |
Anonymous
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One on one interaction is most benenficial for a child under the age of 2.
As long as children are being well taken care of, via SAHM, daycare, nanny and know they're loved-is what's important. |
Anonymous
| give me a break. daycare is NOT better. those people are just trying to justify their choices. come on, just go visit a daycare when they don't know you are watching. trust me - the $5 an hour uneducated person watching your kid is not better. study after study after study show that it is better for the child to be with a parent. that is why european countries who have conducted studies themselves give so much time off to parents b/c it is better for kids therefore better for society as a whole. in the usa our economy can't afford to lose all of the women workers so they promote daycare and blah blah blah. i am all for individual choices but i don't like people changing the facts to justify their decisions. that bugs me. you are doing what is best for your kids. trust me. i've been on both ends of this debate and have no doubt in my mind that kids are better off with a parent. |
Anonymous
| I have to agree, please don't second guess yourself. From what you describe, you are giving your child the best of all worlds. Believe. Breathe. |
Anonymous
| Working mom here. My kids have both been in fabulous daycares. It's worked well for us and has a lot of positives. That said, there's nothing in a daycare that can't be re-created by a SAHM with a little bit of initiative. No caregiver is going to love your kid as much as you do or be able to tailor the activities to your child's individual needs like you can. If you're happy being home, no need to second-guess yourself because you think you are somehow depriving your child. As other's have said, plenty of time for socialization. . . |
Anonymous
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Are there benefits to a child being in daycare vs staying at home? Yes. Are there benefits to a child being at home with mom all day over daycare? Yes. The benefits are simply different and the degree of variation depends specifically on the center and the mom.
A good analogy would be hiring a bi-lingual nanny. Would my child benefit from learning a second language at an early age? Yes. Am I going to run out and hire a nanny who is bi-lingual to make sure I get this benefit. No. Am I going to go learn a second language so I can teach it to junior? No. My child will simply need to struggle through middle school Spanish or French. We just need to accept that kids will get different benefits from each option and that's OK. My take is that the only moms who take the SAHM is the only way view, always attack any benefit of daycare as being false or a personal affront to their own lifestyle choice, and view daycare as so evil are the ones who probably aren't doing all that great at staying home or are struggling internally with validation. |
Anonymous
Very well said. As mothers-we second guess our choices and over analyze. |
Anonymous
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I'm a SAHM and I personally believe that babies and young kids are better off at home with a parent. I think a parent's presence and love are more important than external activities and socialization at such an early age. Again, this is my opinion. That said, at some point when my DS is older I will probably need to put my child in Daycare, and I am fine with that. It's sometimes a necessary part of our life. I also think staying at home is better for my own mental health because I can't stand the thought of someone else spending more time with my DS than me.
Our typical day includes getting up, eating and playing until about 10am when we drive dad to metro. Going for about a 1 hour walk followed by a nap (or in conjunction with a nap), Eating (lunch) then more playing (reading, toys, singing, talking, jumperoo, baby exercises (like rolling and practicing sitting up)) Baby nap and DCUM, chores, and reading for me Playing, errands, eating Walk to metro to meet dad Playing with Dad Dinner, bath and bed |