Would you move to a predonimantly Jewish area?

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting post to me because we're not Jewish, but considering a Jewish preschool.

I'm wondering how much of an issue that is. Probably not the same as living in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood, but interesting insight anyway.

[Anonymous]

I grew up near Pikesville (not Jewish) and yes it is a very Jewish area. I would not move there if you have a choice. It's a great area, but since you aren't Jewish your kids will feel so left out of things. I agree with the poster who mentioned Timonium, Towson, Phoenix, Hunt Valley...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Please explain what the barriers to getting close (or even friendly) with the adults are. I agree that there are barriers, but do not understand why or what they are.

See 15:58's post.

I've just re-read that post. It talks about the barriers/separation, but does not explain why they exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not move to a mostly Jewish neighborhood. There are lovely homes in Kemp Mill, Silver Spring that are affordable, but I don't want to be an outsider. there are many Orthodox jews there. There are fewer Orthodox Jews in my neighborhood, and they never smile at me or wave at me when I sit on my front porch. I get the feeling they only are friends with each other. The only time I have talked to my Orthodox Jewish neighbor is when I was offering a free bike and he asked if he could have it. I have never seen him before or afterward. And a teenager down the block saw the parking sticker on my car for the local Jewish school and asked if I worked there. When I told her the sticker came with the car, that was the end of the conversation. I shop where my Orthodox neighbors shop and it is almost as if I am a ghost. They just see other Orthodox Jews. I don't know what Pikesville is like, but I would certainly hang out there as much as possible before buying to really get an idea of what living there is like.

You are not describing Pikesville. Kemp Mill is different, and you are describing a very Orthodox community. I'm one of the posters from Pikesville and, while that Orthodox culture exists, it's just as polarizing for Secular Jews as for Non-Jews. There is a cultural difference when you are secular and Orthodox. It's the same religion, but practiced very differently. The OP wouldn't be in the same situationn as you describe unless she was moving to an Orthodox neighborhood, which she'd likely not be doing. I'd compare Pikesville more to Bethesda or Potomac in Jewish culture than what you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting post to me because we're not Jewish, but considering a Jewish preschool.

I'm wondering how much of an issue that is. Probably not the same as living in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood, but interesting insight anyway.

There are always Non-Jews at a Jewish pre-school. I'd assume some people there would assume you were Jewish, but wouldn't much care if you weren't. You'd probably not have your kid have Halloween celebrations at school and you would need to deal with your kid coming home with Rosh Hashana crafts and things as well as maybe having to pack Kosher lunches. Otherwise, it wouldn't be much of an issue other than having to say "No, we're not Jewish" occassionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: There is nothing happening in Pikesville--It's got to be one most boring, least child friendly places that I have encountered. My in-laws moved there about 10 years ago--it's awful.

I would consider living in Homewood or somewhere else in the city, near the reasonably affordable private schools.

You don't know what you're talking about. Pikesville is 15 minutes from the Inner Harbor. You have never lived there. There is absolutely no difference between living in Pikesville or anywhere else. Baltimore City has nice areas bordering extremely dangerous ones. The nicest parts border Mount Washington (the county part of which districts to Pikesville High School). Pikesville is just as child friendly as any other part of Baltimore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After spending 3 years in a temple preschool as a non-Jew, and married to a non-observant but very, very cultural Jew, and living on a street that's probably 85% Jewish ...

no, I would not. I would pick out a locale with more balance. It's hard to be the shiksa who doesn't give a toot about Kashrut when absolutely everyone else around you does and thinks you're lesser for your goyim ways.

As a non-Jew dating a Jewish only child/son, I was always the shiksa and his mother barely spoke to me. No, I would not move to a predominantly Jewish neighborhood.

Your boyfriend's Mother is just a bitch. I'm not saying these women don't exist, just unfortunate that his Mother happens to be one of them.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

NO. They want jewish like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NO. They want jewish like them.

Nonsense. If the whole neighborhood is Jewish, who's left to frighten with our horns?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't, in part because I would want more diversity as a fairly obviously non-Jewish Asian person. I also work in a Jewish hospital (supported by much of the Jewish community, keeps kosher throughout the hospital except your own office and one staff lunch room, observes all the holidays, observes the Sabbath)...and I definitely feel like an outsider. The hospital is in a Jewish neighborhood with many restaurants that keep kosher, and in one part it is fairly Orthodox. I sent my half Asian (dad is Jewish) 5 year old to a camp that had mostly Jewish kids, and I felt we were outsiders - my son usually connects with someone and didn't at all. At pick up, the parents would be talking about going to bar mitzvahs, etc. Maybe if we did not look so unJewish, our experience would be different, but my knee jerk reaction is I would absolutely not move to an area that was mostly Jewish - or really any single race/culture - unless it was mostly Asian where we wouldn't stand out.

[Anonymous]

Watch out for religious communities. They are not healthy. Behind the scenes they have their problems. Domestic violence, scandalilzing and wife swapping and everything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watch out for religious communities. They are not healthy. Behind the scenes they have their problems. Domestic violence, scandalilzing and wife swapping and everything else.

Every community has the same scandals - religious or not. If you want to stay away from that, live by yourself in the middle of nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Please explain what the barriers to getting close (or even friendly) with the adults are. I agree that there are barriers, but do not understand why or what they are.

See 15:58's post.

I've just re-read that post. It talks about the barriers/separation, but does not explain why they exist.

Here are some of the barriers (I was a poster way back with a list of barriers dealing with kids):

--A neighbor isn't going to go into your house for a cup of coffee and a piece of cake or come over for dinner.
--In a really Orthodox community, a man isn't going to shake a woman's hand or be alone with her (say, to come into your house to borrow a drill)
--When your daughter starts wearing tank tops to go to the pool, you're going to get stares and disapproval
--Their community is geared around shul and minyan, not around other kinds of friendships that develop with people around them
--you won't meet through your kids
--I'll say the taboo thing there, having come from a religious community: people take the "chosen people" thing seriously and aren't all that interested in people who are different.
--If you have liberal/progressive social views, fugeddaboudit.
Obviously none of this applies to a neighborhood where most people are non-orthodox. Then it comes down to whether you are happy on a block with fewer Christmas lights, but that's abou t it.

[Anonymous]

I live on the edge of an orthodox community and these are the barriers I see:
Men cross the street to avoid walking past me on the sidewalk (I guess to avoid accidental contact, but it seems also to avoid me saying hello).
Neighbors do not celebrate Halloween or decorate for holidays.
A few orthodox neighbor women will talk to me, one will eat at my house (in the backyard), but none will come in my house or invite me in theirs
Our children do not play together (different schools, and it is clear they do not want their children to play with mine)