Would you move to a predonimantly Jewish area?

[Anonymous]

We are considering a move to Pikesville, a very nice suburb outside of Baltimore. It's something like...80 or 90% Jewish? In any event, we are a family of Danish non-practicing Catholic blondes, and I'm just worried we wouldn't fit in or be accepted. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Scandinavian Lutheran here. Yes, I would.

[Anonymous]

Sure. (Former Catholic married to an atheist.)

[Anonymous]

After spending 3 years in a temple preschool as a non-Jew, and married to a non-observant but very, very cultural Jew, and living on a street that's probably 85% Jewish ...

no, I would not. I would pick out a locale with more balance. It's hard to be the shiksa who doesn't give a toot about Kashrut when absolutely everyone else around you does and thinks you're lesser for your goyim ways.

[Anonymous]

I don't think religion has as much to do with fitting in. It's more a culture thing. I've found that Jews and Catholics have very similar cultures. They are big on family, keeping old traditions alive, food (wink), etc.

The culture of a town is definitely something to consider when looking at a move, so I don't think you're off base in asking. I'm not sure Pikesville is still that Jewish though.

Signed,

A blonde Jew (we do exist, you know)

[Anonymous]

Every neighborhood is different, and you need to think yourself about how important it is to you to have people who are "like you" religiously speaking vs. you being interested in a multi-cultural (or not your culture) experience.

For me, I realize I don't need to be close friends with everyone, but I do need to have at least a few close friends. So for me, a few folks who would invite me over and who would come over to our place -- even when we were celebrating our various (semi-)religious traditions would be enough for me. Folks who didn't feel like they had to hide their religion or who expected me to, either, would be important. And personally, having my kid be invited to passover celebrations, bar- and bat-mitzvahs would also be key, because I'd at least want my child to feel like part of the social scene, too.

I suspect you'd find these kinds of folks in Pikesville, no problem! But are you operating under the same set of social needs as me?

[Anonymous]

As a catholic who attended an orthodox jewish school, I wouldn't hesitate. It was a wonderful experience for me in so many different ways.

[Anonymous]

Lapsed Christian here, married to a Muslim, with Muslim kids. I LOVE Pikesville and would move there in a heart beat. I used to live in Owings Mills and hung out in Pikesville a lot. We currently live in a part of Rockville which is predominantly Jewish and everyone's been very welcoming and neighborly. I still like Pikesville better, though.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the blond part matters much - there are lots of blond Jews, so it's not like you'll be pointed at and stared at on the street.

Culturally, though, you might be a little uncomfortable at first if you don't know much about Jewish culture. You don't say if the area is largely Orthodox, or more secular. That would make a huge difference. I am Jewish but not Orthodox, and I would never live in a predominantly Orthodox neighborhood because I would not fit in. But in a more secular neighborhood I should think you'd be fine as long as all activities don't revolve around synagogue or religious activities. (For instance, I felt uncomfortable living in Atlanta where it seemed everyone I met identified and socialized through their churches, and I didn't go to church, obviously.)

[Anonymous]

I'm catholic and grew up in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood on LI and I never felt excluded or out of place. Most of my friends and neighbors were reform or conservative Jews, I don't know Pikesville at all but I suppose if there are pockets of orthodox Jews it might feel more insular. I agree with the PP who said that catholics and jews have many points of commonality, or at least if felt that way growing up in NY where there are large numbers of both groups.

[Anonymous]

Hindu here. Yes, it is a cultural thing and YES, I absolutely would. Families are big and maybe a little less privacy than in more WASP-y locales, but that is just fine with us.

[Anonymous]

In an ideal world, no. I would hope for a neighborhood where I wasn't already automatically "other". Also, my middle-eastern husband has been treated badly by Jewish people, more so than by any other identifiable demographic, so I tend to be a little wary. However, if the location, the house, the price, the schools were all what I wanted, the jewishness (or baptistness, or blackness) wouldn't be a deal breaker, as the mean/racist Jews are in the minority.

[Anonymous]

It depends on you and your personality. I live in a neighborhood that just happens to have a large group of adults who grew up there. I do feel somewhat left out when all my neighborhood friends are talking about people I don't know, attending parties/reunions that I'm not a part of, etc. It doesn't bother me that much, especially since I have so many other things in common with my neighbors. I could see how I might feel "outside of the loop" if everyone celebrated different holidays, sent their kids to different schools, or belonged to a certain club/church/synaguge, etc that I didn't belong to. But that's just me and my insecurities.

[Anonymous]

I am an orthodox jew who grew up in a predominantly orthodox jewish neighborhood. Most of the kids in the neighborhood went to jewish private school - definitely all the jewish kids went.

We knew our non-jewish neighbors, but since we didnt go to school with them, we werent as friendly as we were with the other kids. My parents have a great relationship with our next door neighbors (Haitian family whose kids were much younger than my family's) but it never evolved to much more than acquaintences.

Part of it has to do with keeping kosher. If we can always invite you to eat in our home but you can never return the invite bc we cant eat in your home, it creates awkwardness on both sides. In grad school, the majority of my friends were not Jewish. There were limitations on our friendship as I could never attend any of their parties/events on Friday night or Saturday day and I could not eat in their houses. I purposely moved to a community in which I could have other orthodox friends, so that I'd have a social group more in line with my way of life. I still have lots of non-jewish and non-orthodox friends, but I certainly dont see them as much.

I am not trying to dissuade you from moving to Pikesville as its a great place with a wide variety of people and jews all over the religious spectrum, but just wanted to offer the other side.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In an ideal world, no. I would hope for a neighborhood where I wasn't already automatically "other". Also, my middle-eastern husband has been treated badly by Jewish people, more so than by any other identifiable demographic, so I tend to be a little wary. However, if the location, the house, the price, the schools were all what I wanted, the jewishness (or baptistness, or blackness) wouldn't be a deal breaker, as the mean/racist Jews are in the minority.

14:16 here. Just curious, is your husband wary, or just you? Because mine survived two wars with Israel and has no qualms with Jewish people at all. (I couldn't have married him if he did.) His thoughts on the state of Israel -- that's a different matter -- but Jews and Muslims are much more alike than you'd think and my husband feels very comfortable here.