Would you move to a predonimantly Jewish area?

[Anonymous]

Another Hindu here. I've always been an outsider/in the minority in any neighborhood, and it's never been an issue. I guess I never had to get used to it like OP would, but I say you should move there if you want to! People are generally nice, and you'll be fine.

I would maybe not move to a super orthodox neighborhood, since it seems like there may be a lot of restrictions that could make it hard to be close friends.

[Anonymous]

I am a non-observant Jew and I really value diversity generally, so I wouldn't want to live where everyone is the same religion/culture.

Also, I have a lot of Orthodox Jews in my family who are downright bigoted against just about anyone who is not Orthodox Jewish. (Things they say among family that they probably don't say in public...)

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all the different perspectives! Especially the non-Jewish-specific information about Pikesville. I didn't know it was boring and not very child friendly.

[Anonymous]

Wow, scary people
I would be offended if I had neighbours like that

[Anonymous]

I grew up Orthodox in that area and have many "frum" relatives who still live there. Here's the problem-- and it's nothing to do with being different, like the only Hindu on your block.

--On a truly "frum" street, none of the children go to public schools. Your child will not be able to walk to school with neighbors and will not get to know her neighbors unless you reach out specially to them. THey will all know one another from school.
--Reaching out will be hard because the children will not be allowed to eat in your home, and will be wrapped up in shul for part of Saturday, and not allowed to drive with you to a special event. They will not be in Saturday sports programs with your kids.
--Once your daughter is a teenager, she will not be able to have significant contact with any Orthodox boys with whom she might have become close as a child.
--There will also be barriers to your getting close with the adults.
--You might be surprised by the somewhat different gender roles that very Orthodox people live by. It still bugs the crap out of me and even as a Jewish person I am uneasy about my daughter seeing her child friends differentiated as they get older.

This would not be an issue in the parts of Pikesville that happen to be ethnically Jewish but mainstream.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After spending 3 years in a temple preschool as a non-Jew, and married to a non-observant but very, very cultural Jew, and living on a street that's probably 85% Jewish ...

no, I would not. I would pick out a locale with more balance. It's hard to be the shiksa who doesn't give a toot about Kashrut when absolutely everyone else around you does and thinks you're lesser for your goyim ways.

As a non-Jew dating a Jewish only child/son, I was always the shiksa and his mother barely spoke to me. No, I would not move to a predominantly Jewish neighborhood.

I am a Jew and married a Jewish only son. He mother barely speaks to me either. No one is good enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not move to a mostly Jewish neighborhood. There are lovely homes in Kemp Mill, Silver Spring that are affordable, but I don't want to be an outsider. there are many Orthodox jews there. There are fewer Orthodox Jews in my neighborhood, and they never smile at me or wave at me when I sit on my front porch. I get the feeling they only are friends with each other. The only time I have talked to my Orthodox Jewish neighbor is when I was offering a free bike and he asked if he could have it. I have never seen him before or afterward. And a teenager down the block saw the parking sticker on my car for the local Jewish school and asked if I worked there. When I told her the sticker came with the car, that was the end of the conversation. I shop where my Orthodox neighbors shop and it is almost as if I am a ghost. They just see other Orthodox Jews. I don't know what Pikesville is like, but I would certainly hang out there as much as possible before buying to really get an idea of what living there is like.

I live in a Silver Spring neighborhood heavily populated by Orthodox Jews, and this is my experience as well.

(Unfortunately, it is also my experience with my Jewish ILs, LOL.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up Orthodox in that area and have many "frum" relatives who still live there. Here's the problem-- and it's nothing to do with being different, like the only Hindu on your block.

--On a truly "frum" street, none of the children go to public schools. Your child will not be able to walk to school with neighbors and will not get to know her neighbors unless you reach out specially to them. THey will all know one another from school.
--Reaching out will be hard because the children will not be allowed to eat in your home, and will be wrapped up in shul for part of Saturday, and not allowed to drive with you to a special event. They will not be in Saturday sports programs with your kids.
--Once your daughter is a teenager, she will not be able to have significant contact with any Orthodox boys with whom she might have become close as a child.
--There will also be barriers to your getting close with the adults.
--You might be surprised by the somewhat different gender roles that very Orthodox people live by. It still bugs the crap out of me and even as a Jewish person I am uneasy about my daughter seeing her child friends differentiated as they get older.

This would not be an issue in the parts of Pikesville that happen to be ethnically Jewish but mainstream.

Please explain what the barriers to getting close (or even friendly) with the adults are. I agree that there are barriers, but do not understand why or what they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are considering a move to Pikesville, a very nice suburb outside of Baltimore. It's something like...80 or 90% Jewish? In any event, we are a family of Danish non-practicing Catholic blondes, and I'm just worried we wouldn't fit in or be accepted. What do you think?

Yes, but apparently I should avoid Danish non-practicing Catholic blonde neighborhoods because as a somewhat observant red-haired Jew, I would clearly not be accepted.

(Hey, aren't Danes more commonly Protestant? And are you actually Danish or Americans with some Danish descent. If you're viewing the neighborhood through a European lens, then your prejudices are somewhat less surprising.)

[Anonymous]

Based on this thread, the judgmental posters are not the orthodox jewish ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After spending 3 years in a temple preschool as a non-Jew, and married to a non-observant but very, very cultural Jew, and living on a street that's probably 85% Jewish ...

no, I would not. I would pick out a locale with more balance. It's hard to be the shiksa who doesn't give a toot about Kashrut when absolutely everyone else around you does and thinks you're lesser for your goyim ways.

As a non-Jew dating a Jewish only child/son, I was always the shiksa and his mother barely spoke to me. No, I would not move to a predominantly Jewish neighborhood.

His mother would have spoken to you if you lived next door and simply kept your mitts off her son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Pikesville. My WHOLE family still lives there. I am Jewish, and my public high school was 96% Jewish when I graduated. The area is very Jewish, and there is an orthodox community, but most of it is secular. The Starbucks stocks Channukah stuff during the holidays with barely any Xmas stuff to be found. The Panera will serve you your sandwich on matzah during passover. But other than the little things like that, the community is not that different from other places that I have lived.

That being said, I would not move back, but mostly because Pikesville (and Baltimore) does not have many of the great things that the DC area has- Theatre scene, museums, great non-chain restaurants, employment opportunities, and so on. And the population in Pikesville is getting quite geriatric....most of the young families live in Owings Mills.

I'm also from Pikesville and my family still lives there. I disagree that most families live in Owings Mills now. It's got some rough areas and the schools aren't as good, so most of the people I know are moving back into Pikesville buying the homes of other people's Parents Pikesville is a great place to live and grow up. It's clean, safe and close to the city and the schools are good. Your children will be immersed in Jewish culture, but they won't be ostracized. That said, even if nothing is said to them about their religion, they may feel out of place because they effectively become a minority at school. Remember too that A LOT of kids in Pikesville have at least 1 Parent who isn't Jewish, even though they're being raised Jewish, so it's not like they have an issue with Non-Jews. Also, there is a large Orthodox community, but the Orthodox who are unfriendly to Non-Jews would also be unfriendly to Secular Jews, so it's not an issue for you any more than if you were Secular and Jewish. The Orthodox community isn't all nasty though, most of the Orthodox Jews I know don't act nasty to people who aren't in their community.

I wouldn't move back to Pikesville because it is kind of "small town" in that it has a tight community and everyone knows everything. It sometimes can be hard to move into because everyone knows each other already, but I don't think that much to do with it being Jewish and more to do with it being Baltimore, where everyone stays in the area they grew up. I also don't agree that there is no Christmas stuff. Personally, I shop mostly in Towson, which is predominantely not Jewish and there are plenty of Christmas things. If you're concerned you can look into moving to Towson, Timonium, Lutherville....all similar to Pikesville in location and amenities (some with way more) but not so Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Please explain what the barriers to getting close (or even friendly) with the adults are. I agree that there are barriers, but do not understand why or what they are.

See 15:58's post.

[Anonymous]

I live in a neighboring town and I really don't think Pikesville is that Jewish. I am sure it is definitely a majority but if you are a tolerant person, I'd say go for it. And it isn't like you won't go anywhere outside of Pikesville. I would definitely look into the best schools though. BTW- All of Baltimore County Public Schools have off for the Jewish holidays.