My 77-year-old mother is lying and I don’t know what to make of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, two things here
First: Absolutely do NOT depend on your Mother for anything. You are going to have to have different childcare, always.

Quit trying to figure her out. You can not be putting your energy into figuring her out.

Second: Once you get your life together -- address her health. Know her finances. Know if she will qualify for medicaid. She is likely headed, at come point, to a dementia care facility.

It’s actually more likely that she won’t
Occurrence of dementia by age group:
65–69: ~3%
71–79: ~5%
75–84: ~13%
80–89: ~24%
90+: ~35%–40%

There are always more people without dementia than with it. Not everyone with dementia requires a care facility. Less than 5% of elders live in SNF/Memory Care

Let OP deal with her child care situation without adding to her burden. Right now there is nothing to suggest that her mom has MCI or dementia. She’s a poor communicator who has always used lying. If OP sees additional signs she can deal with it then.

Did you even read the numbers you posted? Maybe you have mild cognitive decline.

You seem confused. Did you add the percentages? That’s not how it works, for multiple reasons. Maybe you should go back to stats.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't cut her off, but I wouldn't rely on her for anything anymore. She's getting too old. I also think she's anxious and doesn't know how to talk about it. The pressure of being your only backup and being almost 80...that's a recipe for overwhelm. She's closer to being someone you take care of than someone who takes care of you.