For the third year in a row, my BF has neither time nor money to take any summer vacation

[Anonymous]

DH here: you need to talk to him. I had this issue when i was dating my wife, she was not happy that I wasn’t planning vacations while we were dating, but it was not something I grew up with and I was focused on the work grind so I didn’t give it much thought. Use your words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Took one vacation after dating two years. Zero married.

A lot of people don’t take summer vacations or vacations at all.

We can’t afford them now. I do love travel though! We were able to a bit before kids. I grew up tent camping at the beach and we may need to go retro and embrace that.

Campgrounds are miserable and crowded these days! Unless you hike out into back country or remote areas I guess. More fun to rent an Airbnb or VRBO, and still cheaper than flight travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Took one vacation after dating two years. Zero married.

A lot of people don’t take summer vacations or vacations at all.

We can’t afford them now. I do love travel though! We were able to a bit before kids. I grew up tent camping at the beach and we may need to go retro and embrace that.

Campgrounds are miserable and crowded these days! Unless you hike out into back country or remote areas I guess. More fun to rent an Airbnb or VRBO, and still cheaper than flight travel.

In our price range they’re pretty dumpy options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here: you need to talk to him. I had this issue when i was dating my wife, she was not happy that I wasn’t planning vacations while we were dating, but it was not something I grew up with and I was focused on the work grind so I didn’t give it much thought. Use your words.

I have spoken to him. He knows it is important to me. He has higher priorities and there is not enough time or money to cover those and a vacation. Again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You know this doesn’t work for you.
End it

This. Whatever the cause

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you end an otherwise good relationship over this? I feel like our lifestyle expectations will never align.

What’s your budget?

$2500-5K each for a 1-2 week vacation

That a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get summer vacation. If you don’t have kids, why would you want to vacation in the hottest and most miserable months of the year? I want to recommend spring or fall

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here: you need to talk to him. I had this issue when i was dating my wife, she was not happy that I wasn’t planning vacations while we were dating, but it was not something I grew up with and I was focused on the work grind so I didn’t give it much thought. Use your words.

I have spoken to him. He knows it is important to me. He has higher priorities and there is not enough time or money to cover those and a vacation. Again.

So he told you that your priorities are not his top priorities
You either have to take it or leave what else ?

Btw - what are these priorities ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More important, OP, why is he still your "BF" after 3 years?

For all you know, OP is 21. You're saying they should just get married after 3 years for shits and giggles without any further information? Yikes.

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OP: Your post is pretty vague. Does use his PTO in other ways, or simply not get enough? Are you trying to plan an elaborate vacation that's outside of his budget? How would you feel about contributing the difference?

There aren't any DCUM OPs that are 21. DP

I found dcum when I was 20. I was a nanny and looking for a nanny forum. Ended up becoming a mom at 22 so the parent part was helpful at that point.