For the third year in a row, my BF has neither time nor money to take any summer vacation

[Anonymous]

Do you vacation together at other times in the year? I never traveled in the summer before kids because it is too crowded. Travel is much better in the shoulder seasons (late spring or early fall).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you vacation together at other times in the year? I never traveled in the summer before kids because it is too crowded. Travel is much better in the shoulder seasons (late spring or early fall).

Agree here. I dont travel in summer or spring break. Too crowded for me. Where does he go otherwise?

[Anonymous]

How old is he? Why doesn’t he have time or money? Is he mismanaging either of them? Taking many unnecessary sick days and not saving for bigger events? Wasteful with money or in debt? Building his own business and doesn’t have employees to pick up the slack, and lots of out of pocket business expenses? Just don’t care about travel, so you have different interests and priorities?

I think the WHYS are the potential red flags, not just that he didn’t have it.

[Anonymous]

He thinks it’s a waste of time and money OR he doesn’t want to vacation with you

[Anonymous]

I love to travel and I would let him go. Find an equal.

[Anonymous]

Your priorities don't align. Break up.

My husband never takes a vacation because he loves his job. I just go places without him. We get along wonderfully.

This isn't what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More important, OP, why is he still your "BF" after 3 years?

For all you know, OP is 21. You're saying they should just get married after 3 years for shits and giggles without any further information? Yikes.

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OP: Your post is pretty vague. Does use his PTO in other ways, or simply not get enough? Are you trying to plan an elaborate vacation that's outside of his budget? How would you feel about contributing the difference?

There aren't any DCUM OPs that are 21. DP

NP checking in. Not quite 21 but a a few of us in their young 20s.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you end an otherwise good relationship over this? I feel like our lifestyle expectations will never align.

You need to give a bit more information for us to argue this case.

That being said, if travel is that important for you, leave him. By the way, are you disappointed he lacks the means or willingness to go on vacation. Is this a temporary situation, like he is paying off debt or saving for a house or is he low income and job lacks benefits?

[Anonymous]

My cousin loves travel and her DH hates it. They agreed on him going on vacation every other year, she books guided tours for other year's travel. He is a gem otherwise, treats her like a princess so makes up for his shortcomings.

[Anonymous]

You need to think, is this a deal breaker if he never changes? He needs to think, is it worth losing you?

[Anonymous]

What are his good qualities?

[Anonymous]

I travel off season, much cheaper and nicer.

[Anonymous]

If traveling somewhere together is important to you, then yes I would end it w/him and wait for a guy who is responsible with his money to save for a trip together.

[Anonymous]

I hardly ever took vacations for the first three years with my now spouse. We didn't have money. I remember spending ten days with his parents at their beach home, it was too long.

We started taking vacations during our honeymoon. And have made it a priority to travel since then.

[Anonymous]

Took one vacation after dating two years. Zero married.

A lot of people don’t take summer vacations or vacations at all.