Conversing with people who don't ask you questions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should stop talking to them. What's the point if it's one sided?

I suspect for some of us, there is no polite way to quickly exit the "conversation."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're having a conversation with someone who doesn't ask you questions, are you supposed to just offer the information about yourself?

For example, we might be having a conversation where I ask some question.They talk for a while in response but then we get to that point of the conversation where they might turn it back saying, "How about you?," or "what's your experience?" they don't. And I tend to not volunteer personal information unsolicited but instead talk more generally about what they just told me.

It occurred to me that there's a lot of people I know a lot about who know basically nothing about me. Should I volunteer more? How?

No, don’t volunteer jack squat. The less people know, the more interesting you become.

So you just stare in awkward silence? (DP)

Yes, ideally while wearing sunglasses.

[Anonymous]

It’s the same as the people who don’t cover their mouth when they cough, yawn without covering their mouth… it is simply bad manners.

If you’re raised well then you are taught how to have a conversation.

It’s class and manners.

[Anonymous]

I have depression and massive social anxiety and often feel like I live my days with a mask on in public. This creates an interesting mix of feeling like I’m not worth talking to because I’m so gray and boring, feeling both grateful and pathetic if someone shows a desire to engage with me, wanting to make a connection and talk, but constantly policing myself and analyzing how I’m coming off. So half the time I’m good at asking a lot of questions and the other half I’m like omg you loser you talked about yourself too much because you were so desperate to be in a conversation, never socialize again.

I come from a long line of similar people.

[Anonymous]

you aren't that important. No one is judging you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're having a conversation with someone who doesn't ask you questions, are you supposed to just offer the information about yourself?

For example, we might be having a conversation where I ask some question.They talk for a while in response but then we get to that point of the conversation where they might turn it back saying, "How about you?," or "what's your experience?" they don't. And I tend to not volunteer personal information unsolicited but instead talk more generally about what they just told me.

It occurred to me that there's a lot of people I know a lot about who know basically nothing about me. Should I volunteer more? How?

Yes. Why is that hard?

If you don't want volunteer personal information, then why do you want someone to ask? If you want to volunteer it, then why wait for someone to ask? Just share if you want to share

[Anonymous]

I forget to ask questions. I do like you a bunch. My brain is not wired well for social interactions with neurotypical folks. I try.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people suck at conversations, and many people are just self involved and dull. It just is that way. I hope you find some better friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should stop talking to them. What's the point if it's one sided?

I suspect for some of us, there is no polite way to quickly exit the "conversation."

If you are socially adept, you can get out of anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have depression and massive social anxiety and often feel like I live my days with a mask on in public. This creates an interesting mix of feeling like I’m not worth talking to because I’m so gray and boring, feeling both grateful and pathetic if someone shows a desire to engage with me, wanting to make a connection and talk, but constantly policing myself and analyzing how I’m coming off. So half the time I’m good at asking a lot of questions and the other half I’m like omg you loser you talked about yourself too much because you were so desperate to be in a conversation, never socialize again.

I come from a long line of similar people.

Same. I could’ve written this.

[Anonymous]

Huge pet peeve of mine!
I limit conversations w/ them

[Anonymous]

The older I get, the more I notice how many people struggle with making conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The older I get, the more I notice how many people struggle with making conversation.

Hit submit too soon. Conversation should allow for some back and forth and many people struggle with this aspect. I'm not sure if it's lack of curiosity or just social dysfunction.

[Anonymous]

Same thing happened to me. I am so used to being the listener that when someone asked me questions at a party, I couldn't believe how it felt to be listened to and to have someone interested enough to ask me more questions. I have friends who will politely ask questions to me but then will go right into their issues and never circle back to me and I become a dumping ground for all their issues. In fact with new friends I don't volunteer much because I am used to not being asked anything.

Anonymous wrote:That's pretty much 95% of people I meet. In fact I was at a wedding not long ago and met a cousin's dh for the first time and he asked questions about me and I was so surprised. Nobody had done that in years and it made me emotional (not visibly) that someone would actually care. I had mom friends for years who did not know I worked, or where I came from or the most basic things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're having a conversation with someone who doesn't ask you questions, are you supposed to just offer the information about yourself?

For example, we might be having a conversation where I ask some question.They talk for a while in response but then we get to that point of the conversation where they might turn it back saying, "How about you?," or "what's your experience?" they don't. And I tend to not volunteer personal information unsolicited but instead talk more generally about what they just told me.

It occurred to me that there's a lot of people I know a lot about who know basically nothing about me. Should I volunteer more? How?

No. These are people who just want to talk, and even if you do make an effort to talk about yourself, they are just waiting for you to finish so that they can talk some more. I also know many people who know nothing about me but I know all about their upcoming vacation and their daughter’s soccer tournament. I don’t count them as friends, just acquaintances. Just be happy that you can recognize the difference because most of these type of people cannot. They are totally ignorant that they show no interest or curiosity about the person they are talking to.