What do you think they tell people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all these people who tout the joys of estrangement it seems like a lot of people obsess about their supposedly evil parents and remain miserable.

If you can’t be in relationship with your parents why do you care who they speak to and what they say?

Yep, the estrangement has to be fueled by further fantasy and elaboration in their heads and with others to keep justifying it.
I agree, PP, why does OP care? I think she wants them to be further punished by having to talk about it.

That was the feeling I got.

There have and always will be estrangements, but the way it is pushed as the solution to every problem or dissatisfaction with a relationship is very damaging for all involved.

This.

[Anonymous]

We don't know where they are. We have not heard from them.

[Anonymous]

They are doing great but lately they have been very busy with the kids and activities.
What about you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are doing great but lately they have been very busy with the kids and activities.
What about you?

They are either saying this, or going off on a screed against you. No in-between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They either lie and say everything is great, or lie and say you’ve cut them off and they have no idea why.

Which lie is irrelevant to your life.

We hear "their evil spouse made them cut contact with us and now we're deprived of getting to know our grandbabies."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're spending a lot of time thinking about them for someone "NC." Like a lot of posters on DCUM who are NC or recommend it, you could still be in touch with your parents. When you really reach the point where NC is better for you than not, you won't want to be imagining this trivial things about them. Why don't you reach out and mend things, for your own benefit? FYI I imagine they say their DC is punitive and a bit on the ill side because that's what you sound like to a stranger.

There is a long grieving people for most people who go no contact. And grief often involves wondering about these kinds of things. That includes situations in which a parent was horrifically abusive and few, if any, would dispute that no contact was the right move.

Ugh. I have the opposite problem. People keep telling me things about people I have no contact or care about. Like I am not asking please don’t mention this person in my presence because I am not interested. At all.

You have to tell them this directly: "Please do not mention Larlo/Larla to me. I am not interested. "