I had to tell my kid her father died today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 16 when my father died suddenly (divorced parents, both remarried). I...processed weirdly and probably should have done therapy at the time. I missed only a half day of school for it and just kept trucking along with my high-level school work. Like I went to chem lab the next day. The whole situation was very bizarre, and I found out a lot of stuff about my father after the fact that likely colored my romantic relationships.

This is a long way of saying that this will be a process for your daughter. She likely won't know what she needs.

For those concerned about money, I did get my father's social security til I turned 18. It was enough to help me not have student loans (but I was in state and it was the 90s/early 2000s).

Similar situation here. My mom picked me up from school one day my freshman year of high school and told me that my father had been in an accident and it didn’t look good. I was stunned and went home and played basketball in our yard. My parents were divorced and while I had always been a daddy’s girl, I hadn’t seen him in a few months due to a combination of his alcoholism and me being a teen. I went to the funeral and left to pick up my cousin from college hours away the next day and never really talked about it with anyone although one of the kindest things was a card that my basketball team signed. Fast forward to adult hood and it hits different and at random times. Hugs to your daughter.

I was able to get his social security like PP said, but in hindsight feeling the space to grieve would have been helpful. My mom was a counselor but when it came to my dad I felt a bit guilty for grieving because of their history. Not because she made it that way, but because of my 15 year old mind. You are doing a wonderful job by being selfless in the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might have some financial concerns that will need addressing. Adults have a better understanding of the overall picture but so many teens are worried about money when sudden changes like this happen.

Money is your concern. Could you be any more cold and uncaring.

NP. As a guardian of a ward who just turned 18? One of her biggest concerns has been money, because when one (or both) parent dies, there are more things that will devolve to the minor more quickly than most 18yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might have some financial concerns that will need addressing. Adults have a better understanding of the overall picture but so many teens are worried about money when sudden changes like this happen.

Money is your concern. Could you be any more cold and uncaring.

This is wrong. If this was sudden then there may not be good plans in place. If he had another wife or other children it will be complicated. You need to be prepared to advocate for your child to make sure they get what they are entitled too. Make sure to ask for the will and who will be the executor. Don't worry about whether his family thinks you are being pushy. This is for your child.

Worse if his only will was written during their marriage, especially if before the child was born... Worst case is that there is no will at all.