Reply to I had to tell my kid her father died today

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was 16 when my father died suddenly (divorced parents, both remarried).  I...processed weirdly and probably should have done therapy at the time. I missed only a half day of school for it and just kept trucking along with my high-level school work.  Like I went to chem lab the next day. The whole situation was very bizarre, and I found out a lot of stuff about my father after the fact that likely colored my romantic relationships.

This is a long way of saying that this will be a process for your daughter. She likely won't know what she needs.

For those concerned about money, I did get my father's social security til I turned 18. It was enough to help me not have student loans (but I was in state and it was the 90s/early 2000s). [/quote]

Similar situation here. My mom picked me up from school one day my freshman year of high school and told me that my father had been in an accident and it didn’t look good. I was stunned and went home and played basketball in our yard. My parents were divorced and while I had always been a daddy’s girl, I hadn’t seen him in a few months due to a combination of his alcoholism and me being a teen. I went to the funeral and left to pick up my cousin from college hours away the next day and never really talked about it with anyone although one of the kindest things was a card that my basketball team signed. Fast forward to adult hood and it hits different and at random times. Hugs to your daughter.

I was able to get his social security like PP said, but in hindsight feeling the space to grieve would have been helpful. My mom was a counselor but when it came to my dad I felt a bit guilty for grieving because of their history. Not because she made it that way, but because of my 15 year old mind. You are doing a wonderful job by being selfless in the process. [/quote]

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