BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Nobody with a hotel room or local lodging would plan to shower at a random sister in law’s house.

[Anonymous]

Have some snacks and drinks and set up an ironing station.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the heck not? "Six men" - is that scary to OP? I would happily do this.

Scary? No. But 6 men I don't know showering at my house is a definite no. Coming over to hang out and change clothes is fine but grooming needs to be done at their hotel.
(Not OP).

You are super weird. This isn't 6 strangers off the street, it's a BIL and his friends. Do you think they are going to whip out their schlong? What's the problem and don't get into safety of your kids. That's a cop out.

If I don't know them, they're strangers to me. If it's just BIL it's 1 bathroom. If it's 6 guys, then Op has to clean 2 or 3 bathrooms, and they have to go to and down the hall possibly in a state of undress. Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like fun to me. This is your BIL so you make it work. It would love 5 men getting ready in my house. Break out the champagne and make it a party.

+1 I don’t even understand what the issue is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They aren’t going to all take showers—please. They will shower at home or thee their hotel. They will probably need to change shirts, tie ties, watch tv, and drink a beer.

Most instructions tell them to arrive wearing their white undershirt, so they're just basically putting on a shirt. They might need to iron though. I'm a bridesmaid and my dress wrinkled badly on my trip there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody with a hotel room or local lodging would plan to shower at a random sister in law’s house.

At the groom’s brother’s house. A groom OP claims to adore.

[Anonymous]

Let them over at your house or cover the cost of a nearby hotel room. Weird they didn’t get a room for the men but clearly they didn’t plan ahead or don’t have the budget.

[Anonymous]

If they’re staying nearby, they will already have showered. There won’t be much actual getting ready. My guess is they’ll just mostly congregating there and will just talk. Have some snacks and drinks and don’t think of it as them getting ready, just hanging out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s younger brother is getting married here in town. My ILs live in a small one-bedroom condo in a retirement community, so they can’t host. We’re the only family locally and live in a modest-size house with kids at home.

The couple has a hotel block, and the bride and bridal party will be doing hair/makeup and getting dressed in their suite the morning of the wedding. The current plan is for my BIL to leave the suite that morning, and since they don’t want to pay for an additional hotel room for the guys, he’s asked if he and his five groomsmen can hang out at our house and get ready.

My husband’s response was basically “it’s up to you.” 🙄

I’m really not comfortable with this. We don’t have a great setup for six adult men to get ready; they’d either be using our primary bedroom/bath, one of our kids’ rooms, or rotating through the guest bath. I have kids here, and we actually live in this space, and we will all be getting ready, too. It feels like a lot to host a group of guys (some I’ve never even met) for hours on a busy wedding morning.

I adore my BIL and want to be supportive, but this feels invasive and stressful. Am I being unreasonable? Would you say yes, or suggest they get another hotel room?

No, you don’t.

[Anonymous]

Why can't they get ready in one or two of their own hotel rooms? I don't get this.

But since it's a wedding, I would let the groom choose. Surely he knows what the set-up is inside your home, right? Remind him if you think he's forgotten.

My priority would be to ensure that he has all the facts so he can pick exactly what he prefers. I would be happy to welcome him if that's what he really wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody with a hotel room or local lodging would plan to shower at a random sister in law’s house.

Random and SIL don't belong together. It's family. They want to get ready for a few hours. There is no issue here. OPs husband probably gave the green light away but wants to make it look like OP has a say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they’re staying nearby, they will already have showered. There won’t be much actual getting ready. My guess is they’ll just mostly congregating there and will just talk. Have some snacks and drinks and don’t think of it as them getting ready, just hanging out.

I agree that there won't be much getting ready beyond shirts, ties and jackets.

I do think there's a reasonable chance you'll end up with extra people stopping by, likes wives or girlfriends of the groomsmen, a ring bear/flower girl and their parents, and parents of the groom. You'll be the hangout house.

[Anonymous]

While I would say yes, I'd also think to myself why cheap out now and not get another room if they cannot get ready in another groomsman's room? It seems inconvenient to drag all the stuff to your house to get ready.

I'd also foresee your house to become a hang-out house with extra people stopping buy or hanging out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I would say yes, I'd also think to myself why cheap out now and not get another room if they cannot get ready in another groomsman's room? It seems inconvenient to drag all the stuff to your house to get ready.

I'd also foresee your house to become a hang-out house with extra people stopping buy or hanging out.

Have you seen the size of many hotel rooms lately? They're tiny. I don't think it is as simple as just getting another room or getting ready in another groomsman's room, they want a space to get ready and hang out for SIX men. So they would need a large suite which is either very expensive andd still probably tight, or maybe not even available, because the bride and groom have that booked already.

[Anonymous]

Do the groomsmen have hotel rooms? If so, they should get ready there.

If not, I would book a suite for them for the day.

I wouldn't want all that going on at my house either.