Busy on Valentines Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you can do better because she is not a catch. A woman in her late 30s never married who would rather spend time with friends than her bf yeah she is not a catch. Let her drown in her delusional mind that she is such a catch that snapping her fingers in her late 30s mind you will usher in an army of tall beautiful and rich men who will fight among each other for the one in a lifetime pleasure to date her.

This is crazy. Valentine’s Day is a terrible night to go out. It’s performative BS. No one who works in restaurants wants to work on Valentine’s Day because it’s amateur night among the customers.

I think a woman who makes time for her friends and is not expecting to be wined and dined on the cheesiest night of the year is a total catch. Just go out on a different night and you’ll have a much more intimate time.

[Anonymous]

People who get upset about not celebrating birthdays and/or holidays on a particular date are a huge red flag. Except for like, a New Year’s Eve party. Which you also should be chill about. It happens every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's lame to bail on friends for a guy. Most of us learn this lesson in middle school.

And a late-30s woman is probably past the point of wanting to make a big deal over VDay, so just ask her to dinner on the 13th instead.

+1 Even my teenage daughter knows this and it’s refreshing to see young women looking out for their own emotional needs.

[Anonymous]

It's 10 days in advance and it's too late to get a reservation most nice places. She made other plans so she wouldn't be home alone, bummed that you didn't like her enough to set up a date. I would have done the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess.. she's in her late 30s? She's already built a life around her friends, and they come first.

OP here. Yes, this is the case. I’m realizing I wrote 2 months but it’s actually been 3 months. I’m not sure if I should wait more or just figure we don’t want the same thing.

Seems like an overreaction to breakup over Valentine’s Day. She could have made these plans a few weeks ago, when you first started dating and she didn’t want to presume you’d do something big that early on. Is it really that big of a deal to celebrate it on a different day?

She shouldn’t have assumed they’d do something on Vday. But once she got the invite she should’ve accepted. I would if I liked someone. I can watch tv with my friends anytime.

Yes, and my friends would be thrilled for me! She could also have suggested lunch or brunch. She is just not that into you. Start dating other people.

[Anonymous]

For those of you who keep saying it is a Hallmark holiday, the origins of Valentine's Day go back to ancient Rome, then the Middle Ages in Europe, where lovers exchanged notes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess.. she's in her late 30s? She's already built a life around her friends, and they come first.

OP here. Yes, this is the case. I’m realizing I wrote 2 months but it’s actually been 3 months. I’m not sure if I should wait more or just figure we don’t want the same thing.

I was in the opposite position last year when the guy I’d been with for 6 months went on a golf trip with his friends on Valentine’s Day and said it didn’t matter because all his friends were married and their wives don’t care (he was a perma-bachelor, no relationships in his life over 6 months). I had to explain that Valentine’s Day falls on that weekend (Presidents’ Day) every 10-12 years and his friends with 20+ year marriages aren’t just starting to build a life with someone. Come around to this year and he skipped the trip and has bought an engagement ring. So, people can change, but only if something is worth it to them.

The wives cared.

[Anonymous]

Valentine's Day is on a Saturday this year so all the nicer places have been booked out for weeks already. She probably assumed you weren't planning anything so made other plans.

[Anonymous]

A lot of female friend groups have a Valentine’s Day tradition. Bailing on friends who might be depressed not having a date is kind of lame. She’s been seeing you 3 months. I think you should not look at this like a big deal. I would view this as a major plus — she won’t be the kind of woman who is eternally mad at you because you didn’t make a big enough deal about Valentine’s Day, her birthday, Christmas, Mother’s Day, your anniversary, etc etc

[Anonymous]

She may not want to be the type to dump her friends when a man comes along. She may have single friends who are sad about not dating and the friend valentine thing is important to them. She may have had bad experiences in the past with Valentine’s Day.

It’s only 3 months. If you like her and want to give it a chance, the plan something for the day after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who keep saying it is a Hallmark holiday, the origins of Valentine's Day go back to ancient Rome, then the Middle Ages in Europe, where lovers exchanged notes.

Cool, let’s take it back to that then. Exchanging notes with your lover sounds sweet. No need for the candlelit dinner, roses, chocolate, jewelry, heart-shaped this and that, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who keep saying it is a Hallmark holiday, the origins of Valentine's Day go back to ancient Rome, then the Middle Ages in Europe, where lovers exchanged notes.

Cool, let’s take it back to that then. Exchanging notes with your lover sounds sweet. No need for the candlelit dinner, roses, chocolate, jewelry, heart-shaped this and that, etc.

You sound like a Bitter Betty. What do you care if others enjoy that? Eat your everydayl food and hush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who keep saying it is a Hallmark holiday, the origins of Valentine's Day go back to ancient Rome, then the Middle Ages in Europe, where lovers exchanged notes.

Cool, let’s take it back to that then. Exchanging notes with your lover sounds sweet. No need for the candlelit dinner, roses, chocolate, jewelry, heart-shaped this and that, etc.

Why does it bother you so much when someone tries to make their life more enjoyable on occasions ?

[Anonymous]

She's just not that into you ... unfortunately.

I'd move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who keep saying it is a Hallmark holiday, the origins of Valentine's Day go back to ancient Rome, then the Middle Ages in Europe, where lovers exchanged notes.

Cool, let’s take it back to that then. Exchanging notes with your lover sounds sweet. No need for the candlelit dinner, roses, chocolate, jewelry, heart-shaped this and that, etc.

Someone ^^ is bitter because they are never getting roses, chocolate or jewelry.