Busy on Valentines Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watching basketball on tv with girlfriends instead of going out for a Valentine's dinner? She isn't that into you, and going on a V-Day date would suggest more to the relationship than she wants to commit to.

I would start dating other women. Sorry, OP.

Sorry, OP. But I think this is the case. If you’re dating exclusively, most people would assume you would spend V day together and/or be excited about their BF planning something special. It’s good that she sticks to her commitments with friends, but I think a group of friends watching a game on t.v. together is something most friends would understand her backing out of in the circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess.. she's in her late 30s? She's already built a life around her friends, and they come first.

OP here. Yes, this is the case. I’m realizing I wrote 2 months but it’s actually been 3 months. I’m not sure if I should wait more or just figure we don’t want the same thing.

Seems like an overreaction to breakup over Valentine’s Day. She could have made these plans a few weeks ago, when you first started dating and she didn’t want to presume you’d do something big that early on. Is it really that big of a deal to celebrate it on a different day?

She shouldn’t have assumed they’d do something on Vday. But once she got the invite she should’ve accepted. I would if I liked someone. I can watch tv with my friends anytime.

I’m assuming OP asked today (Feb 4). That’s only 10 days before V Day. He should have asked earlier. She correctly assumed they weren’t doing anything, OP waiting too long, she made other plans. It would be rude for her to cancel those and also set a bad precedent that OP can wait to make plans and she’ll accommodate him.

I’ve been dating my BF 5 months and we made plans for V Day mid January.

[Anonymous]

You nailed your relationship desires in your last sentence OP.

Seems she prefers a “Galentine’s” Day over dinner w/you.
Could it be possible that she had this planned before she began dating you??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You nailed your relationship desires in your last sentence OP.

Seems she prefers a “Galentine’s” Day over dinner w/you.
Could it be possible that she had this planned before she began dating you??

It doesn’t matter when she planned this. it’s tv for god’s sake. Good friends would be happy that someone cancels because they got surprised with a new romance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You nailed your relationship desires in your last sentence OP.

Seems she prefers a “Galentine’s” Day over dinner w/you.
Could it be possible that she had this planned before she began dating you??

It doesn’t matter when she planned this. it’s tv for god’s sake. Good friends would be happy that someone cancels because they got surprised with a new romance.

+1 her plans are filler. This isn't even fancy dinner out with friends. Basically anything where $ was already committed or some kind of special night or event.

[Anonymous]

Assuming you’re not exclusive yet, she likely was already asked out on vday by someone else and accepted since you waited until now to even start planning. Now, she doesn’t know how to tell you she’s going out with another guy so she made up the game excuse.

If I was a mid-late 30s woman in the dating pool, I would call fair game on vday if a guy hadn’t asked me or at least brought up the idea at least 3-4 weeks prior. You snooze, you loose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming you’re not exclusive yet, she likely was already asked out on vday by someone else and accepted since you waited until now to even start planning. Now, she doesn’t know how to tell you she’s going out with another guy so she made up the game excuse.

If I was a mid-late 30s woman in the dating pool, I would call fair game on vday if a guy hadn’t asked me or at least brought up the idea at least 3-4 weeks prior. You snooze, you loose.

What? Who plans a date a month in advance when they’ve only been dating someone for a month at that time?

[Anonymous]

When did you ask? If today, you should have asked sooner.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's just not into Valentines Day. Most adults realize Valentines Day is a Hallmark holiday when overcrowded restaurants overcharge for mediocre fixed price menus. She's doing you a favor.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar question posted here last year after Vday . Guy didn’t acknowledge it in any way . He ghosted me soon after

I would date other women you still have 2 weeks to secure a hot night date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess.. she's in her late 30s? She's already built a life around her friends, and they come first.

OP here. Yes, this is the case. I’m realizing I wrote 2 months but it’s actually been 3 months. I’m not sure if I should wait more or just figure we don’t want the same thing.

I was in the opposite position last year when the guy I’d been with for 6 months went on a golf trip with his friends on Valentine’s Day and said it didn’t matter because all his friends were married and their wives don’t care (he was a perma-bachelor, no relationships in his life over 6 months). I had to explain that Valentine’s Day falls on that weekend (Presidents’ Day) every 10-12 years and his friends with 20+ year marriages aren’t just starting to build a life with someone. Come around to this year and he skipped the trip and has bought an engagement ring. So, people can change, but only if something is worth it to them.

[Anonymous]

She's watching women's basketball? I think she's a lesbian. In any case, she's just not that into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess.. she's in her late 30s? She's already built a life around her friends, and they come first.

OP here. Yes, this is the case. I’m realizing I wrote 2 months but it’s actually been 3 months. I’m not sure if I should wait more or just figure we don’t want the same thing.

Seems like an overreaction to breakup over Valentine’s Day. She could have made these plans a few weeks ago, when you first started dating and she didn’t want to presume you’d do something big that early on. Is it really that big of a deal to celebrate it on a different day?

She shouldn’t have assumed they’d do something on Vday. But once she got the invite she should’ve accepted. I would if I liked someone. I can watch tv with my friends anytime.

I’m assuming OP asked today (Feb 4). That’s only 10 days before V Day. He should have asked earlier. She correctly assumed they weren’t doing anything, OP waiting too long, she made other plans. It would be rude for her to cancel those and also set a bad precedent that OP can wait to make plans and she’ll accommodate him.

I’ve been dating my BF 5 months and we made plans for V Day mid January.

Nah. This is plenty of notice.

I agree that her prioritizing watching tv with friends on Valentine’s Day isn’t a great sign. What is it like when you spend time together? Does she seem into you? Attracted? How often have you gotten together over these past few months?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When did you ask? If today, you should have asked sooner.

No.

[Anonymous]

Are you exclusive?