Do your in-laws attend college graduation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and my FIL will be attending. Probably more extended family too. My dc is glad to have all of the support and we will have big dinner somewhere for everyone including those who don't have ceremony tickets.

There will be a big dinner for the college graduates and their freinds and their parents and siblings. College graduate wants to be with his friends. He does not want to go out alone with grandparents and us (parents). He wants to be with all of his friends and their parents/ siblings.

Well he can do that. Doesn't stop the inlaws from coming. As long as they know what to expect who cares if they come.

Husband has no sense of what is expected or normal. He is a parent pleaser and will spend the entire weekend catering to them instead of to our son and to what we should be doing as the parents. He will insist on driving over to pick up parents, take them to events, spend time talking to them, instead of focusing on our son and his freinds. Happened last event they attended.

Tell your husband that it is your strong preference that they do NOT attend. If he still insists then I would tell him you will not be doing a single thing to prepare and host them while they are in town. You will drive separately from him and them and will be focused solely on your graduating child to ensure he gets all of your attention and energy. Would your husband have an issue with that?

This is basically what I would do as well. And I would probably gently point out that the weekend is about the kid and if he chooses to spend more time on his parents than his kid, that kid will notice and remember.

[Anonymous]

My 2 living grandparents, my godparents, my parents, my sibling, and my then boyfriend, now husband, attended my college graduation. Only my parents and then fiancé, now husband, attended my law school graduation (which I wasn’t going to attend myself until I learned who the speaker was). Grandparents and godparents were still living at that time.

For my husband, it was me, his parents and sibling, and his aunt and uncle. For his brother’s, it was me and then fiancé, now husband, his parents, one of his living grandparents, 2 sets of aunts and uncles, and two cousins.

None of us went to colleges with ticketed events. If the grands are still living and mobile, and the event allows attendance, I would anticipate them wanting to come, but I would not be playing chauffeur for them as I expect our kids will not attend school near home and we’d be driving ourselves/siblings around already. Every event at all the above graduations was able to accommodate as many guests as you wanted.

[Anonymous]

My living grandparents came to my college graduation. It was very normal to have grandparents go. My kids had no living grandparents when they graduated from college, but my sister and her dh came to both with us. We have attended my sister’s two children’s college graduations too.

[Anonymous]

None of my grandparents came to mine. In a year, my parents will come to my son’s if they are able to. They will want to and he will want that. My MIL won’t be able to travel and FIL is not alive. There are not rules. It’s what the graduate wants.

[Anonymous]

We didn't invite any of the grandparents to our kid's college graduation, and I'm glad they didn't ask. All would have required more attention than we would have wanted to give them at that busy time!

[Anonymous]

Both sets of grandparents came to our son’s hs graduation. And we’re all - grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins - going to my nephew’s college graduation in May, but there are some extenuating circumstances which explain why we’re all making the trip. My oldest will graduate from college next year and none of the aunts/uncles and cousins will be there, but the grandparents might want to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't invite any of the grandparents to our kid's college graduation, and I'm glad they didn't ask. All would have required more attention than we would have wanted to give them at that busy time!

What kind of attention are you talking about exactly?

[Anonymous]

I was fortunate to have all 4 of my grandparents attend my college graduation- lived 4 hrs away.

[Anonymous]

Perfectly normal for a graduate’s grandparents to attend their graduation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents and siblings just attended my graduation. Grandparents were either older or deceased and did not attend and would not have traveled to attend. My in-laws are very pushy and want to attend but many of the events are for the graduates and their parents (us) and siblings only. I do not hear of too many grandparents attending the weekend events. Question - what percentage of you have grandparents attend college graduation? Mind you they would be traveling a long distance and do not know anyone in said town which means husband would end up having to entertain them all weekend for every meal, etc...

Just parents - graduations are long and boring, IF grandparents from either side, or siblings, actually want to watch, send them the link to the livestream

[Anonymous]

No. Why anyone would want to sit through a graduation ceremony is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

dont still expect the gift if theyre not invited

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't invite any of the grandparents to our kid's college graduation, and I'm glad they didn't ask. All would have required more attention than we would have wanted to give them at that busy time!

What kind of attention are you talking about exactly?

You really can’t imagine it for yourself? “Where do we park?” “Where do we meet up with you?” (In front of the basketball arena or wherever the event is, look for Gate 5 with all the people in front of it) “I don’t know where that is, someone needs to come to my car and walk me over there. I’m parked in xyz lot that’s all the way across campus because that’s where the GPS took me.” Or on an urban campus, “we flew in last night and we’re in a hotel downtown, but we don’t know how to use the public transit here, someone needs to come to the hotel tomorrow morning and take us to the campus.”

[Anonymous]

No. Our college kids don’t vacation with their grandparents or host them in their college town.

[Anonymous]

Graduation?

No.

Maybe if it was local and not 3000 miles away and there weren’t 10+ grandchildren. One early window fainted at a middle school graduation due to the heat so crowds aren’t that fun.
Now that I think about it graduation ceremonies aren’t that interesting. Hanging out with friends and nice dinners are. Then pack them up and leave.