Do your in-laws attend college graduation?

[Anonymous]

All our relatives are in another country, so the problem solves itself, but even if they were local, it's not in our culture to attend every little made-up event that colleges dream up. None of it is important, not even to the graduates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, invite them next day and have a little celebration with giving them little mementos of graduation, take their pictures with the grad, cut a small cake with them, etc. This way, you can enjoy graduation your way but still make them feel included and valued. This may help keep peace between them and your hubby.

They live 2,000 miles away so if they come (to a city not where we live) we would have to "host" them all weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and my FIL will be attending. Probably more extended family too. My dc is glad to have all of the support and we will have big dinner somewhere for everyone including those who don't have ceremony tickets.

There will be a big dinner for the college graduates and their freinds and their parents and siblings. College graduate wants to be with his friends. He does not want to go out alone with grandparents and us (parents). He wants to be with all of his friends and their parents/ siblings.

Well he can do that. Doesn't stop the inlaws from coming. As long as they know what to expect who cares if they come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents and siblings just attended my graduation. Grandparents were either older or deceased and did not attend and would not have traveled to attend. My in-laws are very pushy and want to attend but many of the events are for the graduates and their parents (us) and siblings only. I do not hear of too many grandparents attending the weekend events. Question - what percentage of you have grandparents attend college graduation? Mind you they would be traveling a long distance and do not know anyone in said town which means husband would end up having to entertain them all weekend for every meal, etc...

He really does not. My parents never expect to be 'entertained'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and my FIL will be attending. Probably more extended family too. My dc is glad to have all of the support and we will have big dinner somewhere for everyone including those who don't have ceremony tickets.

There will be a big dinner for the college graduates and their freinds and their parents and siblings. College graduate wants to be with his friends. He does not want to go out alone with grandparents and us (parents). He wants to be with all of his friends and their parents/ siblings.

Well he can do that. Doesn't stop the inlaws from coming. As long as they know what to expect who cares if they come.

Husband has no sense of what is expected or normal. He is a parent pleaser and will spend the entire weekend catering to them instead of to our son and to what we should be doing as the parents. He will insist on driving over to pick up parents, take them to events, spend time talking to them, instead of focusing on our son and his freinds. Happened last event they attended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and siblings just attended my graduation. Grandparents were either older or deceased and did not attend and would not have traveled to attend. My in-laws are very pushy and want to attend but many of the events are for the graduates and their parents (us) and siblings only. I do not hear of too many grandparents attending the weekend events. Question - what percentage of you have grandparents attend college graduation? Mind you they would be traveling a long distance and do not know anyone in said town which means husband would end up having to entertain them all weekend for every meal, etc...

He really does not. My parents never expect to be 'entertained'.

His parents expect to be entertained, picked up, included in breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc... It's a lot.

[Anonymous]

Two of my grandparents attended my college graduation and it was a nice memory - my grandmother swigged champagne out of the bottle to celebrate me. I had four guests so had enough tickets for them all.

My DD's is being attended by her parents (me), their sibling, and an uncle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and my FIL will be attending. Probably more extended family too. My dc is glad to have all of the support and we will have big dinner somewhere for everyone including those who don't have ceremony tickets.

There will be a big dinner for the college graduates and their freinds and their parents and siblings. College graduate wants to be with his friends. He does not want to go out alone with grandparents and us (parents). He wants to be with all of his friends and their parents/ siblings.

Well he can do that. Doesn't stop the inlaws from coming. As long as they know what to expect who cares if they come.

Husband has no sense of what is expected or normal. He is a parent pleaser and will spend the entire weekend catering to them instead of to our son and to what we should be doing as the parents. He will insist on driving over to pick up parents, take them to events, spend time talking to them, instead of focusing on our son and his freinds. Happened last event they attended.

What does he say when you tell him all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and my FIL will be attending. Probably more extended family too. My dc is glad to have all of the support and we will have big dinner somewhere for everyone including those who don't have ceremony tickets.

There will be a big dinner for the college graduates and their freinds and their parents and siblings. College graduate wants to be with his friends. He does not want to go out alone with grandparents and us (parents). He wants to be with all of his friends and their parents/ siblings.

Well he can do that. Doesn't stop the inlaws from coming. As long as they know what to expect who cares if they come.

Husband has no sense of what is expected or normal. He is a parent pleaser and will spend the entire weekend catering to them instead of to our son and to what we should be doing as the parents. He will insist on driving over to pick up parents, take them to events, spend time talking to them, instead of focusing on our son and his freinds. Happened last event they attended.

What does he say when you tell him all this?

That she hates his parents? He probably tries to please her, as he does them, by saying "yeah they suck but it's my parents." The concept that he might enjoy seeing them is apparently impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and siblings just attended my graduation. Grandparents were either older or deceased and did not attend and would not have traveled to attend. My in-laws are very pushy and want to attend but many of the events are for the graduates and their parents (us) and siblings only. I do not hear of too many grandparents attending the weekend events. Question - what percentage of you have grandparents attend college graduation? Mind you they would be traveling a long distance and do not know anyone in said town which means husband would end up having to entertain them all weekend for every meal, etc...

He really does not. My parents never expect to be 'entertained'.

They are your in-laws, so to you it's entertaining. When it's your own parents, it's just them being there like always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and siblings just attended my graduation. Grandparents were either older or deceased and did not attend and would not have traveled to attend. My in-laws are very pushy and want to attend but many of the events are for the graduates and their parents (us) and siblings only. I do not hear of too many grandparents attending the weekend events. Question - what percentage of you have grandparents attend college graduation? Mind you they would be traveling a long distance and do not know anyone in said town which means husband would end up having to entertain them all weekend for every meal, etc...

He really does not. My parents never expect to be 'entertained'.

They are your in-laws, so to you it's entertaining. When it's your own parents, it's just them being there like always.

No I mean if my kids and myself and my dh need to go attend events they are like - go. They don't expect us to drop things for them. Actually neither to my ILS now that I think about it.

[Anonymous]

I don't think most people are married when they graduate from college, so they don't have in-laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and my FIL will be attending. Probably more extended family too. My dc is glad to have all of the support and we will have big dinner somewhere for everyone including those who don't have ceremony tickets.

There will be a big dinner for the college graduates and their freinds and their parents and siblings. College graduate wants to be with his friends. He does not want to go out alone with grandparents and us (parents). He wants to be with all of his friends and their parents/ siblings.

Well he can do that. Doesn't stop the inlaws from coming. As long as they know what to expect who cares if they come.

Husband has no sense of what is expected or normal. He is a parent pleaser and will spend the entire weekend catering to them instead of to our son and to what we should be doing as the parents. He will insist on driving over to pick up parents, take them to events, spend time talking to them, instead of focusing on our son and his freinds. Happened last event they attended.

What does he say when you tell him all this?

That she hates his parents? He probably tries to please her, as he does them, by saying "yeah they suck but it's my parents." The concept that he might enjoy seeing them is apparently impossible.

They are not very nice to me the op so yes it makes it not fun to have them around. Mother in law in passive aggressive so yes not fun to have them around. It is like walking on egg shells.

[Anonymous]

These would be the grandparents of the graduate right? If so, yes I would welcome them.

Your title and OP make little sense.

[Anonymous]

We brought my mother and my in-laws to my DD's graduation in the UK. My DD is very close with all of her grandparents so we always planned to have them attend. The grandparents didn't attend all activities and also entertained themselves while we were busy.

You clearly do not relish having your in-laws around. How does your DC feel about them? That would be a key factor for my my decision.