How Long Should I Let Him Go?

[Anonymous]

I’d ask him if he has a plan / thoughts about when he might start looking and then sit back. It’s so hard!

My DH lost a job about 8 years ago and I pushed / got involved and I ultimately felt somewhat to blame when he accepted a position that was a terrible fit. His health and our family happiness suffered. He wasn’t even unemployed that long.

When he was laid off from that job 5 years ago (during Covid) he stepped in to take care of our preschooler who was home, manage some of the medical care she needed (she had 3 hrs of appointments a week at the time) and just make my life easier for a bit. He had 3 months severance pay and said he thought he’d start looking around the 2 month mark. At about two months I planned that day to ask him for an update - having bitten my tongue until then - but before I did he told me he’d updated his LinkedIn the night before and was going to work on his resume that day. However, that day he got a call from 3 recruiters! This led to interviews and job offers with two companies. It actually moved faster than he wanted - he was offered a job in early December and really wanted to start in the new year but they wanted to get him on board before the holidays.

He’s now ready for something else (though not actively looking yet) but it’s been a decent run for 5 years. And he was so abused by the prior employer (gaslighting; ethically concerning practices etc) that he needed recovery time badly.

[Anonymous]

Pp - meant to say 4 years (not 5). I guess it feels like 5!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the feedback. I'll give him a little more time. FTR, he was VP at a large construction firm that went under/reorganized. He is a registered architect and has worked in both environments. He has a unique skill set. We've been together close to 30 years and he's never had an issue finding a job. In fact, for many of the positions he's held, he was offered the position at the initial interview.

I know it is tough out there for everyone, especially those of us close to 60. You will just have to take my word for it but my husband looks 45. He has a full head of hair with no gray and is thin and fit. He was carded until he was close to 50, not just in places where they card everyone. He is planning to tailor his resume to look like he is a little younger to fit with his appearance.

We are both realistically concerned because it feels like construction/architecture sucks right now.

I suspect that my DH and your DH worked together. I’m really sorry. It stinks. He should use his connections when he is ready. He will find something because everyone laid off is incredibly talented. They kept that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the feedback. I'll give him a little more time. FTR, he was VP at a large construction firm that went under/reorganized. He is a registered architect and has worked in both environments. He has a unique skill set. We've been together close to 30 years and he's never had an issue finding a job. In fact, for many of the positions he's held, he was offered the position at the initial interview.

I know it is tough out there for everyone, especially those of us close to 60. You will just have to take my word for it but my husband looks 45. He has a full head of hair with no gray and is thin and fit. He was carded until he was close to 50, not just in places where they card everyone. He is planning to tailor his resume to look like he is a little younger to fit with his appearance.

We are both realistically concerned because it feels like construction/architecture sucks right now.

I suspect that my DH and your DH worked together. I’m really sorry. It stinks. He should use his connections when he is ready. He will find something because everyone laid off is incredibly talented. They kept that

Should say they kept that company afloat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Update. My husband just told me he was contacted (unsolicited) by another firm who heard about his company's implosion and wants to talk to him. He isn't going to jump at the first thing, but he is going to talk to them.

He should absolutely jump at the first thing and keep looking if he chooses to. That he caught a break doesn’t change anything about the challenges in the market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Update. My husband just told me he was contacted (unsolicited) by another firm who heard about his company's implosion and wants to talk to him. He isn't going to jump at the first thing, but he is going to talk to them.

He should absolutely jump at the first thing and keep looking if he chooses to. That he caught a break doesn’t change anything about the challenges in the market.

I agree.