Do you give visting family a "tour" of your home?

[Anonymous]

I love seeing other people’s homes. I’m always so happy when they give a tour. It is invasive though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother’s new girlfriend is an interior designer. They stayed with us over Xmas in our basement flat. She asked several times to see our upstairs/second floor not main (bedrooms and bathrooms in a row house) so she could offer advice on our upcoming remodel. Since the upstairs was filled with all the downstairs clutter for holiday hosting, and she was complaining about clients who buy “Home Depot” kitchens in our Home Depot kitchen, we declined her offer and the tour.

Wow. What a rude b. She and your brother wouldn't be invited back to my house. Interior designers are a dime a dozen. I've hired so many of them that I'm not impressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is curious about a house their relatives live in so much they ned a tour. This is very MC.

My family of origin started as very LC or MC and were from the Midwest and a house tour is expected. It’s considered rude not to offer once someone drops a hint. I grew up in a nice suburb and remember trailing along behind my mom as acquaintances or party hosts walked us through the upstairs of their homes.

I think it’s also expected in other scenarios. I grew up in a unique house that everyone in the area knew and was curious about, so house tours were a given. My current house is in a conspicuous location and was long occupied by people who no one knew, and so now people who come over and grew up in the area are desperate to see it but would never ask. I don’t offer a house tour but if they start looking around or ask questions about the very quirky floor plan, I say “I’ll just show you how it all fits togeher” and give a tour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No.

DH likes to do this though including showing them inside closets. We grew up in NYC where there really wasn’t such a thing as a walk in closet so they do feel like a luxury but no one needs to see them, with my laundry basket and likely clothes crumpled on the floor etc!

NP and I’m still very excited to show people my washer and dryer! It’s the first stop on my house tour. You know you’ve found new friends from big cities when they oooh and ahh over full-size laundry machines inside a house.

[Anonymous]

There are different types of homes in different areas - different architects, different design choices, etc. My relative bought a Victorian mansion and when relatives come by for the first time they are offered a tour. They live in a part of the country that doesn't have that type of home. And often that type is divided into multiple homes for two or three families, so to see it all as one is interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I point out where they'll be sleeping (assuming overnight guests), where the bathrooms are (one on the main level, one in the basement), and where to find things in the kitchen. By then, we've basically seen the whole house except the bedrooms, which I leave closed off.

Just stopping by for a couple hours? No, no tour. I might say something like "let's go sit in the living room", and by the time we get there, they've seen the whole main level.

But I do remember being tasked as a young kid to give tours of our house to guests, so I think it is something that was common in prior generations.

Yes, I think this was very common 30-40 years ago. I also remember having to give a tour of our house when I was a kid, and it was not a big house.

[Anonymous]

Only if they ask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I get the southern thing that a PP mentioned b/c my mom was a debutante from South Carolina, but my MIL has always been the more informal and casual of the two so the pushiness was bothersome. I will survive, but I wish she would have done a better job picking up on my discomfort.

I'm South Asian from the Midwest, this was a thing where I grew up too.

[Anonymous]

Only the closest of family needs to see beyond the main level.

[Anonymous]

I might ask if it's my first time at a house, but if they say "we don't do that" or "upstairs is a mess" or whatever equals "no" I certainly don't press - just ask which bathroom I can use to wash my hands. I would definitely never ask a second time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

DH likes to do this though including showing them inside closets. We grew up in NYC where there really wasn’t such a thing as a walk in closet so they do feel like a luxury but no one needs to see them, with my laundry basket and likely clothes crumpled on the floor etc!

NP and I’m still very excited to show people my washer and dryer! It’s the first stop on my house tour. You know you’ve found new friends from big cities when they oooh and ahh over full-size laundry machines inside a house.

I live in an apartment and I love seeing your utility room! Please tell me all about your new hot water heater, it sounds so exotic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe its a generational thing. My parents always did this when I was growing up. Now it doesn't really feel like a normal thing to do.

It's this. My parents also used to do this. I never would.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's normal in family.

[Anonymous]

Some friends once insisted on giving us the most tedious tour of their house. Opened every closet to show how nicely things were organized. One closet was just for their 42 "puffy" coats - there were a lot of closets. (And they don't have kids) Every drawer in the kitchen. It went on forever. Weird.

[Anonymous]

I think it's weird because you're thinking of it as a tour even if it can be called that. I wouldn't do this for a big group gathering but if my SIL, MIL or a close friend comes to the house for the first time, we show them the whole place.