Worried for friends teens. She is too involved with them and has few boundaries

[Anonymous]

I’d report to police and cps. Those kids need responsible adults in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Op. My kids have self selected not to hang out with them already. But I’m still friends with the parents, especially the mom. I want to shake her sometimes. She means well, I know, but blurs the boundaries with her kids.

So given what you've observed and how you feel OP, what if anything have you said to your mom friend so far? Have you said ANYTHING about this? If not, why not?

I'm wondering the same thing. OP what's making you feel so stuck about what to do, what have you already done that didn't work?

Op here. I’m not sure what to say. I have said things in passing in the past. Im not going to provide detail for obvious reasons

You’ve already tried, they aren’t changing and you don’t approve of their behavior. Stop hanging out with these people. You can’t change others.

Your choices now are to call the police on under age parties serving alcohol if you know they are going on or to MYOB. But stop worrying over other people’s choice when you can’t change that.

Nope, I don't buy that OP has "already tried". S/he says they "said some things in passing", who knows how direct or totally subtle what OP said was. OP sounds conflict averse and afraid to just come out and say what their concern is, and that is **not** the same as actually telling the friend what the concern is and asking the friend what the friend is going to do when they realize they opened the door to their kids having substance problems or motivation problems.

OP what did you come here to find out? Are you going to take any advice and have a direct conversation or not? And to the PP saying call the police, if OP can't say whether they've directly and clearly told this friend their concerns and what the response was, I seriously doubt OP will go on record as the person who called the cops on a parent they may have never clearly stated their concern to. OP if you did clearly state your concern and ask your friend why they think it's ok to be complicit in facilitating substance use among teens, you can say the bottom line on how the parent reacted if you did tell them, without using exact details, if you want further advice here.

And everyone telling OP to MYOB, unless OP has actually said something clearly to the parent, OP is MTOB because they haven't gotten involved yet and don't sound like they plan to.

Oof. Why are you so damned angry??

[Anonymous]

I’d talk to the mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d report to police and cps. Those kids need responsible adults in their lives.

This will not help anyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d report to police and cps. Those kids need responsible adults in their lives.

This will not help anyone

Wrong. It irks the door to resources to help the mom, and protects the kids. They can get reliable adults in their life to help mom make better decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Op. My kids have self selected not to hang out with them already. But I’m still friends with the parents, especially the mom. I want to shake her sometimes. She means well, I know, but blurs the boundaries with her kids.

So given what you've observed and how you feel OP, what if anything have you said to your mom friend so far? Have you said ANYTHING about this? If not, why not?

I'm wondering the same thing. OP what's making you feel so stuck about what to do, what have you already done that didn't work?

Op here. I’m not sure what to say. I have said things in passing in the past. Im not going to provide detail for obvious reasons

You’ve already tried, they aren’t changing and you don’t approve of their behavior. Stop hanging out with these people. You can’t change others.

Your choices now are to call the police on under age parties serving alcohol if you know they are going on or to MYOB. But stop worrying over other people’s choice when you can’t change that.

Nope, I don't buy that OP has "already tried". S/he says they "said some things in passing", who knows how direct or totally subtle what OP said was. OP sounds conflict averse and afraid to just come out and say what their concern is, and that is **not** the same as actually telling the friend what the concern is and asking the friend what the friend is going to do when they realize they opened the door to their kids having substance problems or motivation problems.

OP what did you come here to find out? Are you going to take any advice and have a direct conversation or not? And to the PP saying call the police, if OP can't say whether they've directly and clearly told this friend their concerns and what the response was, I seriously doubt OP will go on record as the person who called the cops on a parent they may have never clearly stated their concern to. OP if you did clearly state your concern and ask your friend why they think it's ok to be complicit in facilitating substance use among teens, you can say the bottom line on how the parent reacted if you did tell them, without using exact details, if you want further advice here.

And everyone telling OP to MYOB, unless OP has actually said something clearly to the parent, OP is MTOB because they haven't gotten involved yet and don't sound like they plan to.

Oof. Why are you so damned angry??

I can't answer for the PP you're asking, but I know I also am constantly puzzled by people who ask questions here but never talk about what they've already tried and how it worked out. Most of what the angry PP said sounds true, even if they are angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Example. Letting teen dd and her friends get wasted at dinner last weekend.

Unless your child was one of these friends, this is none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Europe, teens can drink at 15.

And they rarely get wasted. I was a 15 year old in Europe. We learned to control ourselves early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Op. My kids have self selected not to hang out with them already. But I’m still friends with the parents, especially the mom. I want to shake her sometimes. She means well, I know, but blurs the boundaries with her kids.

So given what you've observed and how you feel OP, what if anything have you said to your mom friend so far? Have you said ANYTHING about this? If not, why not?

I'm wondering the same thing. OP what's making you feel so stuck about what to do, what have you already done that didn't work?

Op here. I’m not sure what to say. I have said things in passing in the past. Im not going to provide detail for obvious reasons

You’ve already tried, they aren’t changing and you don’t approve of their behavior. Stop hanging out with these people. You can’t change others.

Your choices now are to call the police on under age parties serving alcohol if you know they are going on or to MYOB. But stop worrying over other people’s choice when you can’t change that.

Nope, I don't buy that OP has "already tried". S/he says they "said some things in passing", who knows how direct or totally subtle what OP said was. OP sounds conflict averse and afraid to just come out and say what their concern is, and that is **not** the same as actually telling the friend what the concern is and asking the friend what the friend is going to do when they realize they opened the door to their kids having substance problems or motivation problems.

OP what did you come here to find out? Are you going to take any advice and have a direct conversation or not? And to the PP saying call the police, if OP can't say whether they've directly and clearly told this friend their concerns and what the response was, I seriously doubt OP will go on record as the person who called the cops on a parent they may have never clearly stated their concern to. OP if you did clearly state your concern and ask your friend why they think it's ok to be complicit in facilitating substance use among teens, you can say the bottom line on how the parent reacted if you did tell them, without using exact details, if you want further advice here.

And everyone telling OP to MYOB, unless OP has actually said something clearly to the parent, OP is MTOB because they haven't gotten involved yet and don't sound like they plan to.

Oof. Why are you so damned angry??

I can't answer for the PP you're asking, but I know I also am constantly puzzled by people who ask questions here but never talk about what they've already tried and how it worked out. Most of what the angry PP said sounds true, even if they are angry.

Well what would you recommend? Unless you’re too busy to risk having your 30 second response not be useful? You have an important business meeting to get to right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mind your business
Don’t allow your kids in their spaces

Op. My kids have self selected not to hang out with them already. But I’m still friends with the parents, especially the mom. I want to shake her sometimes. She means well, I know, but blurs the boundaries with her kids.

So given what you've observed and how you feel OP, what if anything have you said to your mom friend so far? Have you said ANYTHING about this? If not, why not?

I'm wondering the same thing. OP what's making you feel so stuck about what to do, what have you already done that didn't work?

Op here. I’m not sure what to say. I have said things in passing in the past. Im not going to provide detail for obvious reasons

You’ve already tried, they aren’t changing and you don’t approve of their behavior. Stop hanging out with these people. You can’t change others.

Your choices now are to call the police on under age parties serving alcohol if you know they are going on or to MYOB. But stop worrying over other people’s choice when you can’t change that.

Nope, I don't buy that OP has "already tried". S/he says they "said some things in passing", who knows how direct or totally subtle what OP said was. OP sounds conflict averse and afraid to just come out and say what their concern is, and that is **not** the same as actually telling the friend what the concern is and asking the friend what the friend is going to do when they realize they opened the door to their kids having substance problems or motivation problems.

OP what did you come here to find out? Are you going to take any advice and have a direct conversation or not? And to the PP saying call the police, if OP can't say whether they've directly and clearly told this friend their concerns and what the response was, I seriously doubt OP will go on record as the person who called the cops on a parent they may have never clearly stated their concern to. OP if you did clearly state your concern and ask your friend why they think it's ok to be complicit in facilitating substance use among teens, you can say the bottom line on how the parent reacted if you did tell them, without using exact details, if you want further advice here.

And everyone telling OP to MYOB, unless OP has actually said something clearly to the parent, OP is MTOB because they haven't gotten involved yet and don't sound like they plan to.

Oof. Why are you so damned angry??

I can't answer for the PP you're asking, but I know I also am constantly puzzled by people who ask questions here but never talk about what they've already tried and how it worked out. Most of what the angry PP said sounds true, even if they are angry.

Well what would you recommend? Unless you’re too busy to risk having your 30 second response not be useful? You have an important business meeting to get to right now?

Usually I can follow the random on DCUM, but you've successfully stumped me. WTF?