Does a 6th or 7th grader with all A's warrant spoiling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way you deal with this is to tell them that if he is getting all A's within breaking a sweat then the school isn't challenging his talents and he needs advancement or outside enrichment. If he is sweating for those A'S then he deserves a reward.

Nobody wants to hear this. These dopey parents convince themselves their lazy kid who hates school, never has homework, plays video games or scrolls on their phone from the time they get home from school to bed time, and still has all A's makes their genius that much more impressive! It's a losing battle trying to get such parents to wake up. If their kid isn't smart, why is every teacher giving them A's?! They can't wrap their head around systemic fraud to appease parents and administrators.

Why are you wandering around trying to "get parents to wake up"? Is this a frequent issue for you?

Sometimes I encounter parents who appear to be very proud of a child who seems unimpressive to me but it's never occurred to me that it's my job to disabuse them of that notion. It's normal for parents to think highly of their own kids. I prefer to parents who put their children down.

Two of our children are in travel sports and loudmouth parents are constantly bragging about their tweens having all A's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t getting A’s in public middle school you are not even trying.

You have to literally not show up to not get an A in non-honors courses. Honestly, even the honors track is a joke at most schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way you deal with this is to tell them that if he is getting all A's within breaking a sweat then the school isn't challenging his talents and he needs advancement or outside enrichment. If he is sweating for those A'S then he deserves a reward.

Nobody wants to hear this. These dopey parents convince themselves their lazy kid who hates school, never has homework, plays video games or scrolls on their phone from the time they get home from school to bed time, and still has all A's makes their genius that much more impressive! It's a losing battle trying to get such parents to wake up. If their kid isn't smart, why is every teacher giving them A's?! They can't wrap their head around systemic fraud to appease parents and administrators.

It doesn't matter if the school is a fraud or not, as far as grading goes. What matters is if the kid is exercising to teach their potential.

The school possibly being a "fraud" is a concern about wasting the kid's time vs alternative ways to reach the same or better outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I wrong or is this not a big deal anymore? BIL's wife told us she is spoiling my nephew - their oldest child - because he has kept all A's through 6th and now 7th grade. They both think this makes him a precocious genius. Our now college-aged children had all A's in middle school too but I don't recall things getting very rigorous for them until maybe 8th grade? We're close but probably not close enough to rain on her parade and reveal most of his classmates probably have all A's too.

So many people here hate their in laws so forking much! I feel so lucky to actually like my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I wrong or is this not a big deal anymore? BIL's wife told us she is spoiling my nephew - their oldest child - because he has kept all A's through 6th and now 7th grade. They both think this makes him a precocious genius. Our now college-aged children had all A's in middle school too but I don't recall things getting very rigorous for them until maybe 8th grade? We're close but probably not close enough to rain on her parade and reveal most of his classmates probably have all A's too.

What I meant above, Op, is that you are so bitter and mean even for this godforsaken place. Damn girl.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how teachers sleep at night scamming millions of parents like this. It's honestly gross. And it's not just middle school, worthless As are handed to kids who aren't even grade level all through high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way you deal with this is to tell them that if he is getting all A's within breaking a sweat then the school isn't challenging his talents and he needs advancement or outside enrichment. If he is sweating for those A'S then he deserves a reward.

Nobody wants to hear this. These dopey parents convince themselves their lazy kid who hates school, never has homework, plays video games or scrolls on their phone from the time they get home from school to bed time, and still has all A's makes their genius that much more impressive! It's a losing battle trying to get such parents to wake up. If their kid isn't smart, why is every teacher giving them A's?! They can't wrap their head around systemic fraud to appease parents and administrators.

Why are you wandering around trying to "get parents to wake up"? Is this a frequent issue for you?

Sometimes I encounter parents who appear to be very proud of a child who seems unimpressive to me but it's never occurred to me that it's my job to disabuse them of that notion. It's normal for parents to think highly of their own kids. I prefer to parents who put their children down.

Two of our children are in travel sports and loudmouth parents are constantly bragging about their tweens having all A's.

...and?

This would be a mildly annoying feature of having to interact with those parents frequently. It does not mean it is your job to explain to them that their kids grades don't matter and they need to "wake up" because the schools have low standards. It has nothing to do with you.

Some of y'all are hammers in search of a nail. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way you deal with this is to tell them that if he is getting all A's within breaking a sweat then the school isn't challenging his talents and he needs advancement or outside enrichment. If he is sweating for those A'S then he deserves a reward.

Nobody wants to hear this. These dopey parents convince themselves their lazy kid who hates school, never has homework, plays video games or scrolls on their phone from the time they get home from school to bed time, and still has all A's makes their genius that much more impressive! It's a losing battle trying to get such parents to wake up. If their kid isn't smart, why is every teacher giving them A's?! They can't wrap their head around systemic fraud to appease parents and administrators.

Why are you wandering around trying to "get parents to wake up"? Is this a frequent issue for you?

Sometimes I encounter parents who appear to be very proud of a child who seems unimpressive to me but it's never occurred to me that it's my job to disabuse them of that notion. It's normal for parents to think highly of their own kids. I prefer to parents who put their children down.

Two of our children are in travel sports and loudmouth parents are constantly bragging about their tweens having all A's.

You had to say travel sports. Look in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Defends on the definition of spoiling. Bought him a present and took him out to a nice dinner and giving him lots of compliments the week the report card comes out? Okay. Whatever he wants whenever he wants all the time indefinitely, gets away with any and all misbehavior and never has to lift a finger to contribute to the family? Bad.

Your place in this: Far, far away.

[Anonymous]

No, that seems odd.

What happens if or when grades droop?

[Anonymous]

I think everyone has that annoying neighbor or family member who doesn't seem to grasp that a 4.0 or high SAT score now is not the same thing as it was 30 years ago. They're convinced that their ordinary kid is some super genius, and will brag at every opportunity.

OP, the only proper response is to nod, smile, and privately roll your eyes. Anything else will make you look like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how teachers sleep at night scamming millions of parents like this. It's honestly gross. And it's not just middlemen school, worthless As are handed to kids who aren't even grade level all through high school.

An A means the student met the standard. That’s why everyone has As. An A used to be outstanding. Not anymore. The teachers grade using a rubric that they usually didn’t create.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone has that annoying neighbor or family member who doesn't seem to grasp that a 4.0 or high SAT score now is not the same thing as it was 30 years ago. They're convinced that their ordinary kid is some super genius, and will brag at every opportunity.

OP, the only proper response is to nod, smile, and privately roll your eyes. Anything else will make you look like a jerk.

And some people think they know everything going on in someone else’s life.

Best thing is to smile and nod and move on. And not be so judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t getting A’s in public middle school you are not even trying.

You have to literally not show up to not get an A in non-honors courses. Honestly, even the honors track is a joke at most schools.

Only on DCUM are all kids getting straight As. By 7th grade many kids have half of their classes as honors/intensified. In APS many of them are already taking HS classes (language, algebra). By 8th almost half their classes are HS classes (adds world geo). We don't reward for As but they're worth celebrating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I wrong or is this not a big deal anymore? BIL's wife told us she is spoiling my nephew - their oldest child - because he has kept all A's through 6th and now 7th grade. They both think this makes him a precocious genius. Our now college-aged children had all A's in middle school too but I don't recall things getting very rigorous for them until maybe 8th grade? We're close but probably not close enough to rain on her parade and reveal most of his classmates probably have all A's too.

Maybe her nephew has to work his tail off for those grades, and he deserves all the praise. Maybe the school gives out A’s like candy. Maybe he doesn’t have much else to celebrate in his life. I can think of a billion things worse than praising a kid for good grades, so I would let it go.