Really out of my element with dating apps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’m a catch and I have a lot to offer. Im not ugly, im not fat. I take care of myself, I am kind, I am thoughtful and I have a good head on my shoulders. I went to private school and UVA.

I don’t need to date truck drivers or working class guys. I’m not being unreasonable by setting that boundary.

I don’t need Brad Pitt; just a normal professional guy who is nice and kind and has his life together! Do I need to post thirst traps for that?

Apparently so if what you are doing now isn't attracting who you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that its a studied fact that 80% of women are going after the top 10% of men.

How do you know they are socially awkward, if you have not met them in a social situation?

Some people just do not text well, like myself. That is why I push a man to meet for coffee/ drink before I text too much!

Yes, this. You’ve written off the men who “like” you without getting to know them and are complaining you’re not getting attention. Maybe give some of the average guys a chance.

[Anonymous]

OP - I am 47 but I met MANY late 30s and early 40s single never married men who were open to kids. They were too young for me, but seemed pretty normal. I would look at Indian and Korean men if you are open dating cross race. They are very smart, courteous and family oriented. Also, most men on the apps are actually boring unattractive people who can't get their buttt out the house on weekends themselves. Interesting men and women are going out on their own discovering the world. Engage in cooking classes, sailing, tennis classes, all the meetup groups you can find; I found financial advisors intro meetings for potential clients a great place to meet men from my own SES; men hit on me in museums. Never miss evening at WholeFoods or fancy top rated bars on Fridays-Saturdays. Always wear something nice, but show off your figure. Drop BMI to 20-21. I am damn serious about it. Male attention DOES change in geometric progression. I would wear tight jeans to a museum, and a push up bra under a sweater with open neck. It results in immediate approaches.
Grow your hair longer - it also helped me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not having any success with the dating apps. I’m pretty average looking and people describe me as “cute” I look younger than my age of 38 years and I dress in conservative classy clothes. Turtle neck sweaters, tights and skirts. Shift dresses, ballet flats, simple clean makeup, sensible shoes. I’m not fat but can lose 5-10 lbs.

On hinge I receive no likes and when I do they’re from…fat guys or ugly guys or truck drivers or socially awkward guys.

I was curious what was going on and I checked out my competition. Wow! Hot 45 year old women with bodies that look like Victoria secret models ; selfies with ample cleavage, lots of bikini shots…yikes!

I don’t even know how to dress hot or sexy!

See how judgmental and shallow you sound, yet you expect all the men to not be that way?

This. OP, I usually went on dates of I could see any potential at all. My eventual DH had terrible photos. He’s much better looking in person, and so kind. You need to make some compromises in your thirties. Socially awkward is probably your best bet. Or being single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hey look it's the same 38F UVA OP again! knew it the moment i read in OP that says age 38! welcome back OP! and waste some more of our time!

I thought something about OP seemed familiar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not having any success with the dating apps. I’m pretty average looking and people describe me as “cute” I look younger than my age of 38 years and I dress in conservative classy clothes. Turtle neck sweaters, tights and skirts. Shift dresses, ballet flats, simple clean makeup, sensible shoes. I’m not fat but can lose 5-10 lbs.

On hinge I receive no likes and when I do they’re from…fat guys or ugly guys or truck drivers or socially awkward guys.

I was curious what was going on and I checked out my competition. Wow! Hot 45 year old women with bodies that look like Victoria secret models ; selfies with ample cleavage, lots of bikini shots…yikes!

I don’t even know how to dress hot or sexy!

So you can judge the men who swipe on you as lacking on the apps but the men you want aren't supposed to judge you from how you present?

[Anonymous]

So you want to be thin-big boobs-thin midsection-long hair-great skin and makeup tight clothes all the time to be approached by men. When you turn off the lights the boobs can be taken off their shelves/push up bra, but not before

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you want to be thin-big boobs-thin midsection-long hair-great skin and makeup tight clothes all the time to be approached by men. When you turn off the lights the boobs can be taken off their shelves/push up bra, but not before

You don't have to do or be all of this but if you are a turtleneck sensible shoes wearing average looking woman you need to REALLY sparkle in other ways and leave your house to meet people IRL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you want to be thin-big boobs-thin midsection-long hair-great skin and makeup tight clothes all the time to be approached by men. When you turn off the lights the boobs can be taken off their shelves/push up bra, but not before

Ahh This explains why I'm invisible to men. Small boobs and short hair lol

[Anonymous]

I met lots of men without sexy photos. But the difference is I was smiling and friendly in all my photos. Comments were always “what a beautiful smile” you have “beautiful eyes”. No bikini shots. No sexy poses. Even wearing sweaters! If you’re pretty men will be attracted to you.

[Anonymous]

I don't know...a nicely fitting sweater or turtleneck can be pretty sexy. It's the whole sexy-librarian fantasy which a lot of men seem to be into. I went on a date recently wearing one, and the guy specifically commented on how much he liked it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met lots of men without sexy photos. But the difference is I was smiling and friendly in all my photos. Comments were always “what a beautiful smile” you have “beautiful eyes”. No bikini shots. No sexy poses. Even wearing sweaters! If you’re pretty men will be attracted to you.

She said she is average looking. She needs to leave the house. Average looking won’t work on a platform based on what you look like first. IRL she can show her personality and that will give her points she can’t get in 2D.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you want to be thin-big boobs-thin midsection-long hair-great skin and makeup tight clothes all the time to be approached by men. When you turn off the lights the boobs can be taken off their shelves/push up bra, but not before

Ahh This explains why I'm invisible to men. Small boobs and short hair lol

Many men love small perky breasts. But hardly any men like short hair. That's usually a sign to stay away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you want to be thin-big boobs-thin midsection-long hair-great skin and makeup tight clothes all the time to be approached by men. When you turn off the lights the boobs can be taken off their shelves/push up bra, but not before

Ahh This explains why I'm invisible to men. Small boobs and short hair lol

Many men love small perky breasts. But hardly any men like short hair. That's usually a sign to stay away.

Ok no to implants. But get I should probably get some extensions. Got it! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but you get zero sympathy from me. Women are not allowed to complain about dating apps. You just aren't. My God, if you can't make that work for you...