Really out of my element with dating apps

[Anonymous]

Don’t look homely.

Also weird you think you can have a 6666 when you wear sensible shoes and turtlenecks. Dress for your best physical attributes and subtly accentuate those in pics. Put on some mascara and lipstick and style your hair and wear it down.

Men are visual creatures, especially in the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t look homely.

Also weird you think you can have a 6666 when you wear sensible shoes and turtlenecks. Dress for your best physical attributes and subtly accentuate those in pics. Put on some mascara and lipstick and style your hair and wear it down.

Men are visual creatures, especially in the beginning.

This, but skip the lipstick and too much makeup, most men prefer the natural look now and not the grandma smell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5. Hang out with kinder people than the previous poster.

PP you replied to. I am a kind person, AND I am giving tough love to OP, because that's the only way she's going to be successful. If you're fake-kind and don't give her good advice, she's not actually going to benefit, is she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5. Hang out with kinder people than the previous poster.

PP you replied to. I am a kind person, AND I am giving tough love to OP, because that's the only way she's going to be successful. If you're fake-kind and don't give her good advice, she's not actually going to benefit, is she?

I agree with you PP, and I didn't find your post particularly mean. Maybe a little blunt but that's kind of what OP needs. I think your advice was spot on. OP doesn't necessarily have to lose the 10 pounds, but she needs to dress for the body she has.

[Anonymous]

As a guy, if I see photos that are TOO obvious, like all bikini shots and in very suggestive poses, I assume it's a scammer/fake.

But it's OK to look good. No turtlenecks. Doesn't have to be ball gowns, just look cute and real. Girl next door basically. Nice make-up, a good smile, and a tiny hint of cleavage is sufficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, if I see photos that are TOO obvious, like all bikini shots and in very suggestive poses, I assume it's a scammer/fake.

But it's OK to look good. No turtlenecks. Doesn't have to be ball gowns, just look cute and real. Girl next door basically. Nice make-up, a good smile, and a tiny hint of cleavage is sufficient.

You need to look DTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that its a studied fact that 80% of women are going after the top 10% of men.

This is due to being raised by parents who messed them up mentally, praising everything, saying they were all winners and perfect princesses and deserved a king, etc.

Now most women are single and cannot find a man because they all think they are 9/10+ and always looking at greener pastures rather than accepting their place in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that its a studied fact that 80% of women are going after the top 10% of men.

This is due to being raised by parents who messed them up mentally, praising everything, saying they were all winners and perfect princesses and deserved a king, etc.

Now most women are single and cannot find a man because they all think they are 9/10+ and always looking at greener pastures rather than accepting their place in life.

Didn’t it occur to you that some women see their place in life just being single ? Since women have control over sex they can sleep with men from the next, faster, lane instead of settling for somone in their own lane. And just focus on career - seems way easier than raising a family with a man she simply can’t fall in love

[Anonymous]

OP you are socially awkward to whsts wrong with a socially awkward guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that its a studied fact that 80% of women are going after the top 10% of men.

This is due to being raised by parents who messed them up mentally, praising everything, saying they were all winners and perfect princesses and deserved a king, etc.

Now most women are single and cannot find a man because they all think they are 9/10+ and always looking at greener pastures rather than accepting their place in life.

Didn’t it occur to you that some women see their place in life just being single ? Since women have control over sex they can sleep with men from the next, faster, lane instead of settling for somone in their own lane. And just focus on career - seems way easier than raising a family with a man she simply can’t fall in love

Keep selling that dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, if I see photos that are TOO obvious, like all bikini shots and in very suggestive poses, I assume it's a scammer/fake.

But it's OK to look good. No turtlenecks. Doesn't have to be ball gowns, just look cute and real. Girl next door basically. Nice make-up, a good smile, and a tiny hint of cleavage is sufficient.

It's Christmas time. Show a package that he'll want to unwrap. 🎁, not 📦 or 🗃️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that its a studied fact that 80% of women are going after the top 10% of men.

This is due to being raised by parents who messed them up mentally, praising everything, saying they were all winners and perfect princesses and deserved a king, etc.

Now most women are single and cannot find a man because they all think they are 9/10+ and always looking at greener pastures rather than accepting their place in life.

This whole idea of ranking people by numbers is absurd. OP don't listen to this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that its a studied fact that 80% of women are going after the top 10% of men.

How do you know they are socially awkward, if you have not met them in a social situation?

Some people just do not text well, like myself. That is why I push a man to meet for coffee/ drink before I text too much!

It is worse than 80/20. More like 95% to 5%. See the chart from Tinder which shows that only 5% of men get all the matches from women

You may think it is “unrealistic” that a girl who is say a 2 out of 10 is saying that you need to be six feet tall, seven figure income, six pack abs and six inches in the pant or don’t bother even messaging her. That she wouldn’t even consider the average guy, her being well below average. But the truth is the top 5% of guys is willing to “hit it” with her. So she thinks she has a shot at landing that top 5% guy. So she ends up chasing the top 5% of guy hoping to catch him. Sadly for her she will find he “won’t commit” and “treats her bad”, etc. Sure he may go through the motions and words of commitment but really he is just “hitting it”. In reality that top 5% guy just is banging all the girls and only going to “hit it” and be in a “friends with benefits” with her and many other girls at once and will not commit to any girl. He will just keep banging all the girls. He is the top 5%. What is true for our 2 out of 10 example above is true for girls with higher (and lower) ratings as well. This is the current day dating landscape.

OP is probably looking for one of these 5% guys by her post "I’m not fat but can lose 5-10 lbs. On hinge I receive no likes and when I do they’re from…fat guys or ugly guys or truck drivers or socially awkward guys."

[Anonymous]

Op here. I’m a catch and I have a lot to offer. Im not ugly, im not fat. I take care of myself, I am kind, I am thoughtful and I have a good head on my shoulders. I went to private school and UVA.

I don’t need to date truck drivers or working class guys. I’m not being unreasonable by setting that boundary.

I don’t need Brad Pitt; just a normal professional guy who is nice and kind and has his life together! Do I need to post thirst traps for that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not having any success with the dating apps. I’m pretty average looking and people describe me as “cute” I look younger than my age of 38 years and I dress in conservative classy clothes. Turtle neck sweaters, tights and skirts. Shift dresses, ballet flats, simple clean makeup, sensible shoes. I’m not fat but can lose 5-10 lbs.

On hinge I receive no likes and when I do they’re from…fat guys or ugly guys or truck drivers or socially awkward guys.

I was curious what was going on and I checked out my competition. Wow! Hot 45 year old women with bodies that look like Victoria secret models ; selfies with ample cleavage, lots of bikini shots…yikes!

I don’t even know how to dress hot or sexy!

Most of those hot women are bots or Only Fans girls trying to catfish gullible guys.

Maybe lose the turtleneck sweaters. Make sure you're including at least a couple full-body shots. Have a friend review your profile to see what you're saying about yourself.

Actually there are many divorced very attractive women in mid 40s-early 50s who date divorced men in the same age group. I was trying to say that on some threads that women can look drastically different after age 45 or so, but this board is not accepting of that fact. Some women who can afford top nutrition , rehired and cosmetics procedures look 10 years younger, easily. And a lot of men prefer to date hot 40s than average looking late 30s, if they no longer want kids.
OP - you do need to hit the gym, and post some pics showing your figure .

+1 DCUM posters talk a lot about an age advantage which is true but IRL I see so many really attractive women in their 40s and even 50s and 60s getting a lot of dates and more average 30s women having trouble finding dates.