Is there any way of knowing if a woman will keep her strong libido over time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. The way to determine this is to first determine whether the man will continue to make her feel desirable and continue his interest in her as a human. Determine whether he will stay fit, take on half the mental load in their relationship, and see her as a human being and enjoy growing together with her.

And if he will do dishes and laundry and support her always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. The way to determine this is to first determine whether the man will continue to make her feel desirable and continue his interest in her as a human. Determine whether he will stay fit, take on half the mental load in their relationship, and see her as a human being and enjoy growing together with her.

Correct.
Every woman however will go through menopause and will not be like in their 20s no matter what you do.

Untrue, there are always outliers.

[Anonymous]

That's a very legitimate concern. If you commit to her and have a decade or more of good sex, you don't want your sex life to suddenly end because she changes and no longer wants it. I don't think there is any way at all to predict if this will happen to any given woman.

[Anonymous]

That's like asking is there any way to know if a man will not go bald.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are right to be concerned. My libido would also decrease if I were married to a man who said that was his biggest concern about marriage. Without seeming to understand that a decrease in libido is sometimes tied to his own efforts, or lack thereof.

I have been with my husband for 20 years at this point (and spouse and I have a very active sex life) and, same. This reeks to me of a guy who whines about not being able to have sex for six weeks after you have a baby (or have to avoid sex due to placental issues) or who will leave you if you get cancer and can't have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's like asking is there any way to know if a man will not go bald.

Look at his mother’s brother.

[Anonymous]

As a woman with high libido, I understand you and I think you should bring it up. I can’t guarantee what will happen with me or my DH in 10 years but I can tell you my drive at 47 is the same as when I was 20, and that I have been told for the last 20 years by society that I’m declining in every possible way. I was scared by friends, acquaintances and doctors that I’d have terrible problems as a mother of “advanced maternal age” yet I had two easy pregnancies and healthy kids at 36 and 40. Now I’m 47 and I’m supposed to believe I’ll be celibate from 55 onwards? I’m not buying it, but I guess anything is possible. I also didn’t think I’d have hot flashes at 45 but I did (and got on HRT).

I think what you need is not so much a women who will not change but one who will understand and not judge you and be enthusiastic about figuring things out so you are both happy.


But such a woman will absolutely also expect the same from you.

[Anonymous]

Is there a way to know a man isn’t going to experience erectile dysfunction over time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a way to know a man isn’t going to experience erectile dysfunction over time?

This! 🔥

[Anonymous]

If this is your biggest concern, examine your life and work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

can she masturbate herself to orgasm?

and talk about it?

that is the number one sign that a women will maintain her drive, that she can give herself an orgasm with no shame.

This is a good indicator of sexual engagement/experience, but you can also frame it as looking for the TripleDs: Desire, Drive, and Duty.

Desire: both feeling desired by your partner and caring enough about yourself to be desirable, at least to your own standards, within reason for your personal shape and constitution
Drive: enjoying sex and your sexuality and being driven to engage sexually, including with yourself. Someone with no drive now isn't likely to pick one up later. Someone with high drive now isn't likely to fall completely off (menopause may mess with this a little, but it shouldn't be permanent or severe)
Duty: seeing sexual engagement with your partner as an important part of the relationship. This shouldn't be a chore, but it shouldn't require planetary alignment for you to see that it matters, and needs to be a regular part of maintaining your connection.

You can have a simple conversation about all of these things, and they fit for any sex/gender configuration. You and your partner should be reasonably aligned on all of these points. Losing any one of them temporarily can be overcome by the others (e.g. "I want to fsck but I don't necessarily desire you as much, but sex is how we stay connected" = we have sex; or "I still find you attractive but my meds/menopause/major work project tanked my libido so tonight I'm going to take a more passive role" = we have sex)

Weird how your examples are about how a woman doesn't WANT to have sex but you still force her. Hmm. Weird fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's like asking is there any way to know if a man will not go bald.

Look at his mother’s brother.

It's supposed to be his mother's father, but even then there's some randomness. I have all my hair, but my brother and my two male cousins (our mothers are sisters) are bald like our grandfather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. The way to determine this is to first determine whether the man will continue to make her feel desirable and continue his interest in her as a human. Determine whether he will stay fit, take on half the mental load in their relationship, and see her as a human being and enjoy growing together with her.

Correct.
Every woman however will go through menopause and will not be like in their 20s no matter what you do.

Untrue, there are always outliers.

Are you telling me there are women in their 80s still menstruating? Every woman with ovaries WILL go through menopause at some point.
While I would love to be on HRT, I cannot, so while it’s helpful for many, I know several people who can’t use it.

[Anonymous]

May this type of "love" never find me <3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's like asking is there any way to know if a man will not go bald.

Which is why you should see how her mom's dad performs in bed. Smart.